We say "children are a blessing" - But do we mean it?

Rudeness and “breeders” * Bettnet.com: "I have 4 children and I admit that at times I get frazzled. I often wonder if I could handle any more. But I realize that this is a deficiency in me. The fact that I can’t be more patient, more generous, more self-sacrificing are weaknesses on my part that I should strive to overcome. I think that people often make comments like, “I am so done having kids”, because they are trying to justify and make excuses for their shortcomings. The prevailing culture provokes us to be self centered and self indulgent. But at some level, many realize this is wrong. So they need to rationalize their selfishness by saying those who accept more than 1 or 2 kids are the crazy ones. When in reality, true happiness comes from an emptying of oneself in the service of others, whether that be your children or whoever. How many examples of the rich and famous who are lonely and miserable need to be paraded in front of us before we get this?
Posted by Dan Jasmin on 05/8/07 at 03:16 PM"

This reminds me of a very old Oprah show I saw. Oprah had a bunch of women on to talk about one of her books. A Book Club thing. Anyhow one of the women they profiled shared "her story" with Oprah and millions of viewers too!!

What was her story?

She had 2 children but desperately wanted another child. She and her husband were having fertility troubles. It was heartbreaking. She wanted nothing more than to have another baby and it seemed she could not.

She prayed very hard for God to give her this. And God being a good and gracious God - she finally got pregnant!! Hooray! Nine months later she gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Glory be to God. But, what's this? A defect in this miracle of miracles? The baby girl had Downs Syndrome.

Try as she might the mother just "could not love her". I remember these words exactly!!! She actually said that she realized "that I could not love her as she deserved to be loved" Ok so you get help with that right? You try to CORRECT YOUR defect right? This is "a deficiency in me" (as Dan Jasmin puts it so well) should be her response. But it is not.

This mother, decides that what is best for her daughter is to be given away. She puts her daughter up for adoption. She gives her miracle baby way to another woman "who can love her as she deserves to be loved". This other woman has many children with disabilities in her home. Yet, she does not have a husband to help her. (at least not one that they showed on the show)

And how do all the other women on the Book Club panel respond? They APPLAUD her "courage" for recognizing her "weakness" and "limits" and giving her daughter a chance to be loved...Crap! all of it Crap!

This was years ago that I saw this and to this very day it STILL bother me. Why did this woman see the defects in her child but could not see her own? Did she not feel compelled to

search her own souls and ask "Why can I NOT love?" "I must love" "Lord help me to love"

Nope. I'll just remove that stumbling block. I asked for a baby and when I got one I said "Oh never mind God, I've changed my mind" "But thanks anyways."

We say "children are a blessing" - But do we mean it?

Rudeness and “breeders” * Bettnet.com: "What’s crazy is that these are not isolated incidents. From my experience, it’s really the norm for mothers to speak of children that way. I was at a playgroup one time where ALL the women there agreed that they were “done” having kids. Two were pregnant and were planning to be sterilized when they went to the hospital to have the baby. The other women’s husbands had vasectomies scheduled. None of them were older than 32.
What’s most disturbing is that all of this was discussed in front of their toddlers. So weird.
Posted by Jennifer F. on 05/8/07 at 12:39 PM"

This is a comment from a post on a great blog I've been reading lately. The original post discussed the willingness of others to express their opinions, regardless of how RUDE it may be. Haven't they ever heard the phrase "If you can't say something nice. don't say anything at all." ??? Even my little ones know THIS!!

5/23/07Cat Fight on the View, Rosie vs Elizabeth

5/23/07Cat Fight on the View, Rosie vs Elizabeth

I am absolutely sickened by The View! I have always hated it from its very beginnings. But as of late, every time I hear of another Rosie rant I am reminded of how many women sit in front of the tv like mind numbed sheep bleating Bah bah bah....

This crap passes for intellectual discussion among women? I know that Elizabeth is supposed to be the token "conservative" on the show but she really does her fellow conservatives a disservice. She is NOT good at beating down Rosie or the other fallen away Catholic airbag what's her name?!

These women and for the most part the women who elect to tune into this show are the worst kind of women there are. They are non-thinking emotion-triggered, short sighted, self indulgent, egotists, who believe they are smart, well-informed, humanitarians! Oh and how the world is against them!

This is the kind of thing that makes me NUTS! Just when I want to get beyond politics and pop culture and dig deeper into my own spiritual life - this is the kind of thing that just sucks me back in! I wish I could say I don't care and that it doesn't effect me. But in a way it does effect me. Our whole culture is shaped and influenced by these pop culture figures whether we like it or not. I live in this screwed up country and therefore I reap the consequences of this type of "brain rot".

I see it in the idle chatter of my fellow neighborhood housewives and their constant whining about their lives and belittling of their husbands. I see it in the selfishness of mothers who choose to work just for the sheer "pleasure" of it and ship their token 2 kids off to daycare while explaining away any residual guilt by telling me how good the daycare is for their kids' "socialization". I am surrounded by a plague of empty foolish women who pass themselves off as modern and enlightened and look down their noses at my backwards simpleton way of life yet pretend to "admire" me for all my "choices".\

Women really are the problem with this world. I really do feel like that. We set the tone for the culture. We have lost our way - and The View just isn't lookin' good from where I stand...

Offensive?

I was sorting through many of my "favorite images" today. It occurred to me that many of them I hesitate to use on this blog. They have partial nudity. I find them beautiful. Yet I am well aware that some may be "offended" by them. Therefore I fore go using them to illustrate my points on the value of motherhood, the beauty of authentic womanhood, or the truth of the complementarity of the sexes. I'd like to share more of them but I'd always feel the need to explain their purpose...

It is funny how easily we are trained to accept magazine covers like this one as "acceptable", while at the same time shunning a nursing mother into a bathroom stall to feed her baby! We gladly sit in front of the "boob tube" and watch "Housewives" act like pigs, and young single women live lives filled with casual sex in "The City". But scan past the National Geographic channel and catch a glimpse of an African mother topless with a baby strapped to her back working in the fields and suddenly we're HORRIFIED!!

So many here in America have lost all sense of what our bodies are FOR. People certainly haven't a clue that their bodies have a deep spiritual/theological meaning! For goodness sakes most women I know don't even feel comfortable with their own breasts being used for their intended purpose - feeding a baby! Tim, told me a story of a woman he spoke with once. They were casually exchanging pleasantries about one another's families. It came up that I nurse our babies. He told me that the woman looked shocked and a little uncomfortable with that notion to which he asked "Don't you breastfeed?" "Oh NO! these are only for my husband!" as she pointed to her own breasts. Well folks, that sums it up then doesn't it?

We haven't a clue what our bodies are for anymore. In fact we have completely separated our personhood from our bodies. It's as if we imagine them to be just another accessory or gadget we can use and manipulate to gain the maximum amount of production and pleasure. We keep them "tuned up" and make sure they're "up to date" and when they get old and worn out we gladly throw them out like trash. The irony is that at the same time that we devalue our bodies by using them simply as objects we only objectify them further by holding them up to be worshipped and adored as if they are gods!

Only those who understand that our bodies, our flesh, is an essential part of our spiritual identity can appreciate their own body as a key to understanding their very purpose here on earth. Our bodies MEAN something. Something important and amazing and mysterious. Don't we all want to know what that is? Are people satisfied with "Last Chance for Hot Sex" as an acceptable "goal"? Don't we want better? The Truth will set you free - read JPII's Theology of the Body.

Only in a world that's lost its understanding of Truth, what is truly beautiful can "offend" and what truly offends is found to be acceptable.

News I Fear IS Most Likely True...

According to a rumor posted on Islamist websites, the American forces have discovered the headless bodies of two of the kidnapped American soldiers. The reports stated that the bodies were found on May 18, after six days of searching, and that the search for the third soldier, whose fate remains unknown, is still continuing. Sources in the Mahmudiyya police force stated that the bodies were found near one of the parks in the city and bear signs of severe torture.

What Can I say? This type of brutality and lack of even the most basic concepts of the humanity and dignity of a person - even if they are your "enemy" - is what we are up against. Some of us "get it", but sadly most do not.

Addison

Today I was able to participate in the baptism of my second godchild. My first godchild being my neice Sarah. Sadly though, Sarah lives in Germany with my big sis and brother-in-law (her mom and dad). I was not able to actually attend her baptism. I hate that.

Today I participated in the baptism of Addison. Addison is the daughter of our good friends Dawn and Don. I felt so honored to be asked and I was so glad I could actually BE there.

Ten Foot Wall with Razor Wire

"You don't leave our yard - that's the rule" "Do you understand Collin?"
"Yes mom, I understand" "What did I say now?" "Don't leave our yard, mom" "Okay, now go play"

5 minutes later...


"Girls where's Collin?" "I don't know" "There he is mom - he went across the street to The Doe's house!" ....


Mom goes into lunatic, foaming at the mouth mode and retrieves Collin and puts him in his room! Again! He will be five in September and I've been dealing with this since he could walk! I NEED A FENCE!!!!!
We have a large yard with sand box, swing set, fort, trampoline....but it does not matter. Collin goes off in search of the one "thing" we are lacking - another BOY! The more the better. Even if Aaron is here playing he will STILL go off in search of MORE boys to play with! I really am "cracking up" over this issue. Me, 6 mths. pregnant chasing Collin around in summer's heat is not my idea of fun! If I didn't think the neighbors would call protective services on me I'd put him on a "line" and stake him into the ground in the center of the yard! But alas, that's not an option. Any suggestions? and don't say "get a fence". I got the quotes in and they are around $10,000 and that's not an option either (according to Tim).

The 10th Commandment

Thou shalt not covet
thy neighbor's goods.



I am guilty as charged.


My neighbors have a beautiful plant- filled, flower- filled yard. My neighbor, Rose (aptly named) works in her yard daily. They are a childless couple so I tell myself that I should not envy. I have living, growing, beautiful flowers of my own. I know this to be true but it would be nice to have the pink, good smelling variety too! Ah someday!





These pics are ACTUALLY taken of my neighbor's yard flowers!!!!

The Mindless Masses Really DON'T Care

This was one of the major headlines up on MSNBC.com: "FORT DRUM, N.Y. - Fort Drum soldiers said an ambush in Iraq that left four of their comrades dead and three missing will only work to unite America and strengthen the military's determination.
'If this is a scare tactic to undermine our resolve, they need to realize our soldiers are trained killers and don't scare,' said Spc. Dorothy Drake, of Los Angeles, Calif.
'This is more incentive to finish the job. The Army is family. This will bring us together. It will bring the country together,' said Drake."
Sadly, she couldn't be more wrong. About America that is. I am sure that those in the military and those who have a direct connection to the military DO care. But for the majority of Americans just going about their day to day lives - it's just another news story. They say "how sad" and then they hit the clicker and watch Desperate Housewives or some other such nonsense.
The reason why all the polls show that anywhere from 60-65% of Americans want us totally out of Iraq and the war "over" is not out of a sense of compassion and concern for the troops. It is rather an indication of them being bored to death by the whole thing by now. You know, war and soldier fatalities "are a real downer man". "What's Paris Hilton up to?"
Tim and I watched the Republican debate last night. At times we laughed out loud, at times we cringed like you do when you hear nails on a chalkboard, at other times we shook our heads and mumbled obscenities under our breath. We are sick to death of all the B.S. that passes for legitimate political responses to the serious evil and danger that faces this country. I seriously feel like none of these guys "get it". Rudy makes me sick, as does McCain, and Romney. They've got all of the $ and not a lick of moral courage.
Watching the follow-up analysis was just as bad. I can't stand Sean Hannity. He was so far up Guiliani's you know what that I couldn't even stand to watch it. Ultimately I'm powerless. All I've got left is prayer. I'll do my best to stay informed but I'm very discouraged. As for our troops over there - God bless them all. They are the true men of courage this country should be looking to as an ideal. The three missing soldiers I'm sure are being treated horribly. I pray for them and their families. I hope that Jesus is with them in a special way as they suffer...
The saddest part about it is that a couple of weeks after we find their bodies/heads the American public will move on to "more entertaining" news stories and forget all about it. That's the way it works anymore. We send off all our REAL men to do the dirty work while all the whiner pansies stay back here and complain about what a crappy mess Iraq is. It's sad that the BEST of us are the ones dying while the worst of us are here getting pedicures, making appointments with "personal trainers", and buying more junk to fill up the 3rd bay in our suburban garage.
Can you tell I'm mad? - I am. Please Lord, open the eyes of Your people. Before it's too late.

Reflections of an "open-minded" liberal

Living the Scientific Life (Scientist, Interrupted): Jerry Falwell: In His Own Words: "For those unwilling to celebrate Jerry Falwell's death, allow me:
Hooray! Hooray!
Falwell is finally dead!
Woohoo!!!
Say hello to jesus, you hateful, deceitful, hypocritical mother******!
Of course there are deaths we should be happy about. Imagine what a great day it would have been if Jerry Falwell had his heart attack and his fat ass fell on Pat Robertson, who was able to shoot Jimmy Swaggart just before he suffocated? And then the pope showed up, slipped on the blood, hit his head and died! Everyone dies, so If we can be sad about good people dying, we're certainly entitled to be glad when ***holes do."




This was one of the comments made in response to the article/opinion piece I mentioned earlier. Such compassion from those who would accuse people like myself of being self-righteous judgers incapable of "true" compassion.

Rev. Falwell said WHAT??

In an interview with the National Catholic Register published in the May 9, 1982, issue, Falwell said that Ronald Reagan and Pope John Paul II are “the greatest men in my lifetime.”

I couldn't agree more Rev. Falwell.

Jerry Falwell Dies and The Attacks Begin!

I knew when I saw that Rev. Falwell was very sick and hospitalized today that if he died the insults and the attacks would only take a matter of moments. Sadly, I was right. I simply googled news on his death and right away found articles which gleefully jumped at the chance to ridicule and dishonor this man.

Now Tim and I both over the course of the years have always watched Rev. Falwell on tv with our fingers crossed. We'd look at each other and say "Oh No, what's he gonna say now that won't come out right?" And often that was just it. He intended well but sometimes the words just didn't come out right. We, being of like mind on MANY issues with Rev. Falwell, found it easy to forgive his verbal gaffs but others

seem all to willing to just beat him to down.

Even now you can find articles like this one Living the Scientific Life (Scientist, Interrupted): Jerry Falwell: In His Own Words: "As you probably know, Reverend Jerry Falwell died suddenly today after eating breakfast. It sounds like he died from a heart attack, although no one is quite sure yet. But isn't it interesting that Falwell was once described as having 'heart challenges'? Speaking of having heart challenges, he was a true fire-and-brimstone preacher who founded a college that presumably is trying to carry on with his proud tradition of judging others harshly. Here are a few quotes from Jerry Falwell, lest any of us forget what sort of man Jerry Falwell really was;"

It goes on to quote the Rev. Falwell on a number of "hot topics". I must say I agree with all of them but one. I could do without the "prostitute " comment. But other than that I guess I'd have to say I'm just as much a radical wacko as people considered him to be! I consider it good company.

Red-Faced, Sweaty, and Playin' Hard

Brrrum, Brrum, Brum, Brum - my little tough guy...















Frizzy hair blowin' in the wind, dirty feet that require a good scrub in the laundry room sink before even being allowed to enter the house, sweaty red-faced kids all clamoring for Popsicles every 5 minutes - It looks like summer has arrived before it's "official" start.

Being "Open to Life" - It's Not Always Easy

These are pictures of my family. This is the kind of "family gathering" I grew up with. I loved it! Let be known that in fact most of the people pictured are just my aunts, uncles, and 1st cousins. My mother is one of 13. Her parents pictured here in the first pic to the left (gramp in a white shirt and gram with one of my cousins on her lap) are responsible for bringing into this world 13 people, 13 souls. Twelve of which I knew personally and can attest to the fact that they are all good, decent, smart people.( My uncle eddie died at 19 and I never knew him) Not to mention just the simple FUN I had growing up amidst all this noise and laughter...

This is not to say that all of life for this family and its members was happy. It was not. There were many "rough spots".
My grandmother did not live an ideal life by this world's standards. She was poor,
unappreciated, over-worked, hurt, and
perpetually pregnant or nursing. But if
you asked her she'd
say she "had it all", "had it good". Where
did this kind of optimism come from?



Was she some kind of fool? No, not at all. In fact my grandmother was extremely smart, and well read. She was also extremely close to God. She loved her Church. She took the sacraments seriously. She loved the eucharist. How do I know these things? Because I saw it. Her attitude and her whole demeanor at mass and when involved with or attending a celebration of one of the sacraments was one that taught me volumes. She lived her faith, loved and respected priests, glowed and gushed over baptisms, 1st communions, weddings...You always knew that these things mattered a great deal to grandma. It wasn't just a "show" and some cards
stuffed with dollar bills.




There are a million questions I'd like to ask her now. But I suppose all I need to know is this:

In good times and bad times God is in control.
Loving others is all about sacrifice and sometimes it hurts.
God sees the good that we do and that is enough.
Life is difficult but keep on laughing and loving as best you can.





My mom was number eight. I am pregnant with number five. I am tired. I feel lonely sometimes. It's not easy. But, I think of gram. I think of my mother "waiting in the wings" for her turn to take up residence in the womb of this woman called Leona, her mom. It's a tough thing being "open to life". It's something they don't tell you at pre-Cana or at an NFP seminar. It's not all joy and laughter and bliss. But I thank God that I've learned the most important lesson about "being open to life" from a simple woman named Leona - It's WORTH it!

That's me in the second picture on the far left sitting on my aunt Mary's lap next to my cousin Philip. My big sis Kelly is just below me drinking from a paper cup.

Abortion - An Alternate Reality

If this cartoon were possible in reality

there would be far fewer abortions.

Maybe it's shocking for me to say fewer

instead of none. Yet our culture has become

so callous and so self-centered that

not even a "womb with a view" would

make a difference to some.

When it comes to abortion or as they like to

say "reproductive choice", I've heard every

explanation/excuse there is. But it really comes

down to a temporary alternate reality for those

who advocate abortion as a legitimate choice.

It really is NOT a matter of faith, personal "choice"

or ones own personal beliefs. It is in fact SCIENCE.

We positively, absolutely KNOW that a brand new,

completely unique and completely separate human

being is created at the moment of conception.

There's a little thing called DNA...damn those scientists!

Welcome to the 21st century all you feminist "pro-choicers".

There is no way to excuse/permit this thing you call "reproductive choice" unless you are

willing to say that it's not a matter of one human deciding to "not continue her pregnancy",

but rather a matter of two humans, one which has value and therefore all the power and another who has no value (unless otherwise bestowed upon it by its mother) and therefore no power. The more powerful one wins!

Now, I have actually heard some honest "pro-choicers" who readily admit that it's not a matter of one woman but of two people in a battle for control. I thank them for their honesty. But for those out there, including many public figures and politicians who talk about this issue using language that implies that we "don't really know when life begins". Well, it seems to me that they must live in an alternate reality.

For those who admit that there are two completely unique separate human beings whose value and worth is the determining factor in this issue - I say thanks for the honesty, but why must your allegiance be to one or the other? Why can't we respect both the humans involved here?

Why must we determine that one is valuable and one is not? In the end does this not degrade ALL human life then?

Myself being a woman who experienced an unplanned pregnancy, I know that the fear and the

dramatic changes that confront you are just that - dramatic. It IS a life-altering situation to be in. But ultimately I had to live with this truth - My life, my desires, my plans, my future, was no more valuable than the life and future of the person living inside me. Just because this demanded of me my time and my body made that truth no less apparent to me. As humans of the 21st century have we not learned this by now? Why do we continue to make these same errors again and again. We value only what we see and see only those things that we determine to have value. The rest? Who cares - It's not my problem. Right?

Modern or Modest? What's a girl to do?

This has been bothering me for a long while.

As a good Catholic woman who does

value modesty and purity as important,

Am I required or should I feel compelled

to wear skirts/dresses/jumpers?

Must I give up my low rise jeans and my tank tops?

Now mind you I don't "let it all hang out"

No way! I feel like I dress like

an average American mom.

Yet I do take note of what is showing

and I try to make an effort to conceal

"the goods" so to speak.

Today I took the kids to a gym to play

with a bunch of other homeschoolers.

All Catholic (well, mostly) and all modest.

I wore my jeans a tank top

(long one to cover my prego belly), with a button

down short sleeve shirt over it.

It got REALLY hot in there.

I was dying to take off the shirt.

I was sweating and uncomfortable.

But I kept the shirt on.

I felt like a tank top might "offend"

some of the other moms there.

I respect that completely.

That is why I kept the shirt on over the tank.

I kept on sweating.

This is a situation that comes up often.

There are two camps of homeschooling Catholics it seems.

The skirts and the jeans.

No, seriously though, there are some

who feel very strongly about women in pants.

I just can't convert.

Am I behind spiritually? am I not willing

to sacrifice enough? Am I too worldly?

Or is this all much fuss over nothing?

I can't see myself EVER sewing matching outfits

for myself and the girls -EVER.

I think Tim would run for the hills

if I tried...What's a woman like me to do?

Father and Son Bond

The Hoyt Father and Son Team competes http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4642920755415594672

Motherhood - more valuable than flying to the moon...Happy Mother's Day

: "Q: How can women's purported weakness be seen as a source of strength?

Alice Von Hildebrand:

"Granted that from a naturalistic point of view, men are stronger: not only because they are physically stronger, but also because they are more creative, more inventive and more productive -- most great works in theology, philosophy and fine arts have been made by men. They are the great engineers, the great architects.
But the Christian message is that, valuable as all these inventions are, they are dust and ashes compared to every act of virtue. Because a woman by her very nature is maternal -- for every woman, whether married or unmarried, is called upon to be a biological, psychological or spiritual mother -- she knows intuitively that to give, to nurture, to care for others, to suffer with and for them -- for maternity implies suffering -- is infinitely more valuable in God's sight than to conquer nations and fly to the moon. "