Double 'R' Double 'S' - The Maturity Mantra

RR and SS - What exactly are they?

Well in our home they are the maturity mantra. One thing I've learned as a parent is that kids like lessons that are packaged well. What I mean by that is they will more readily retain what I'm trying to drive home be it a virtue, a skill, or a new chore if I package it in a simple clever way that gets their attention and helps them remember. We have a lot of "sayings" around here. This household definitely has a culture and a language all its own. I firmly believe ALL homes should develop a culture and language for their kids to hold onto and to reference. It seems to me that this kind of thing makes my kids feel very grounded and very secure in their beliefs. The more we drive home these family mantras the more they just become a natural part of my kids' thinking.

A more recent mantra development came about when both my 2 older girls were starting to show a real interest in becoming "mature" They like the sound of that word. We got into a discussion about what appeals to them about "growing up" and "being mature". I LOVE these types of conversations with my kids! I LIVE for this stuff!! Any how it was obvious to me that they needed a better and deeper understanding of what it REALLY means to be a mature person. In order to grow into the young ladies they so strongly desire to become they need to know how to get from point A (a child) to point B (a mature young lady). That's where "double r double s " comes into play.

Respect

Responsibility

Self-Control (or Self-Mastery)

Sacrifice

These four things are all required if one is to grow and become a mature person. I reminded them that a larger body and bigger shoes do not qualify boys and girls for mature adulthood. Rather these four things are the qualifiers. So it is in fact true that the more they develop RR and SS they can in fact become at the ages of 10 and 8 more "mature" than many 40 or 50 year olds out there!!! They LOVED the sound of that!!! So that's a great incentive for them.

We of course discussed each 'R' and each 'S' in great detail. I am sure to insert it DAILY into our lives as a family. "That was very double 'r' double 's' of you Morgan." "Mary Grace you are doing such a great job of sacrificing right now - you sure are becoming more and more mature." They just love to see the real connection between their development of these 4 things and my reminding them of their growth and their getting closer and closer to becoming a WOMAN. That's just magical for an 8 or 10 year old to think about. They feel it intensely when they fail as well. "Are you being responsible? - that seems quite childish doesn't it?" etc etc

In this day in age kids grow up in so many artificial ways and think they're "grown up". In fact many adults seem to miss the boat entirely when it comes to being a REAL grown up. We focus far too much attention on sexuality and clothing and academic and athletic ability. We measure our shoe sizes, our ACT and SAT scores, and our bank accounts, but we've completely forgotten about the CHARACTER of a person and how one "measures up" in the areas of RR and SS. If my children can hang onto these lessons and take something away from them I'll be a happy happy mother indeed.

Jesus help me to reinforce all the mantras I come up with by using my own example as this is the best "tool" I have in shaping my kids.

You Get What You Pay For...do you really?

Today was the first all school mass at my kiddos' school. Mass was nice. I sat in the cy room with Chris and Monica and felt oddly lacking in children. I actually was able to focus on the mass in between the moments of putting Monica in the corner for time out due to "un-lady-like" behavior.
Following mass many of the moms stay in the Narthex to visit and to see their children walk out and give them a hug or a wave. A young girl (7th grade or so) paused after exiting and looked a little confused as to where she should go next as she was heading up the single file line of her fellow classmates out the doors. I could read her face "should I go on ahead? shouldn't I wait for my teacher?" she looked left and right. A harsh and bitterly sarcastic voice rang out from behind the line "Let's go. Oh I should have put someone at the head of the line who knows what the heck they are doing. So-in-so take the lead since you know what you're doing." It was shockingly cruel and demeaning to the innocent little girl who was merely looking for an order or a directive from an adult. THAT is a virtue you don't see in kids today too often. Most brats I know are more than ready to "take the lead" in every and any circumstance and see adults as merely obstacles to their own "right" to independence!! (come to find out this girl is a brand new student and this was her first EVER school mass)
That teacher certainly owes that girl an apology. The other moms and I commented on it and one mom had enough sense to take our principal aside and inform her of the rude careless behavior of one of her STAFF. Sadly, the damage is done. Truly the state of Catholic schools today is reflected in this one instance very well indeed. If one is seeking solace from the unkindness and shelter from the worldliness of public schools they will be hard pressed to find it in Catholic schools. The only comfort I take in shelling out the BIG BUCKS to send our kiddos to Catholic school is that they are FREE to talk about Jesus and their faith in Him and that they are FREE to pray when and where they'd like and they are in an environment that affords me the FREEDOM to demand or should I say request adherence to Catholic doctrine and teaching being it is a "catholic" school you know. This all comes with a caveat though and it is this - although your kids are FREE to be Catholic they won't be sheltered from comments such as "you're way too Catholic" and other such world good - religious weirdos bad, type discriminatory teasing.
Mom being a squeaky wheel and dad being quite the zealous convert that he is doesn't score our kiddos any brownie points either. So do you get what you pay for? Well yes and no. You get a watered down version of what you'd like to have but at least it's not the poison you might be forced to drink elsewhere. No much of a deal eh?