Mom Needs Prayer

Kristine over at The Fire Within is dealing with PPD following the birth of her first child little Avila. She writes about her experience and uses the words of saint Terese of Avila as an encouragement:
"Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
He who has God
Finds he lacks nothing;
God alone suffices."
Although I have never been diagnosed with PPD myself I have had times of deep depression which I had to reconcile with my life's duties as wife and mother. That is the hardest part. We can not just turn inward and work on healing the depression as one might who hasn't the responsibilities of motherhood. Yet, I have found that those very responsibilities are what brought me out of the depression. Seeking out the joy in motherhood can be a real task at times. when babies are fussy and sleep is fleeting and older kids are crabby and demanding. At times just the sight of a pile of laundry could move me to tears. But through prayer in those darkest moments I have grown so much closer to Jesus. He has been able to redirect my eyes from the piles of things to be cleaned to the pictures drawn for me and the bouquet of dandelions picked for me. Through prayer I have been able to let go of wanting to control and change those things that bring me down and weigh on me like a led weight around my neck. When I am brought low I have learned not to struggle so much. I just lay there quietly and ask Jesus to keep me company instead. Loneliness is a big part of depression. Feeling trapped in that loneliness is the worst. The great thing is that we are NOT alone. Jesus is right there beside us. This truth has made it possible for me to rise up out of many a depression. The best thing about "rising up and walking" is that you are a changed person. Every time I have fallen into a depression which is more often than I'd like to admit. I have been called by Jesus to "get up and walk" and I have left so much dead weight behind me.
My hope for Kristine is that she will be able to persevere and hold onto to Jesus very tightly in this time. It is so difficult to relax under the weight of many burdens and anxieties. We want to break free and just be "the same ol' girl we've always been" again. But Jesus doesn't want us to be the same ol' girl he wants to make us better, more perfect. I will keep Kristine and Avila and Mike in my prayers. I KNOW that Jesus has BIG plans for them! May Jesus hold Kristine in a tender embrace and may she take great comfort in the sound of His sacred heartbeat.

More at the Lake

While up in Michigan we attended mass. The priest gave a great homily. I took away a lot from that mass and I decided to summarize it simply in my mind as this: "Only God knows what is necessary for my own salvation." I've decided that this is the BEST possible response I can and will ever give to the often heard "So are you done yet? " and "You're not having any more are you?" I've often struggled to put my thoughts on those questions into a very simple succinct and KIND sentence or two. I think saying "Well Bob, only God knows what's necessary for my salvation." Is just about the most perfect answer ever. That statement also is a great one for me to use as a mantra for my own contemplation. When things seem difficult and or painful and I am so confused as to how this or that could possibly be of use or benefit to my life I will try to speak those words right into my own heart. They will give me peace knowing that God has a plan and I don't have to know all its details I just have to know that it will used some how for my own good...

Family Trip to Sister Lakes MI

Dad rented us all a big (it had to be to sleep 14) house on Round Lake in Michigan. We were right on the beach and there was plenty of clean sand (as clean as sand can be) and the water was warm. The first 2 days were overcast but then the weather was perfect. Sunny but NOT too hot. The kids swam and slid down the slide and played in the sand. We were the hot spot for the duck to come for a free meal (hot dog buns and such) and everybody fished a little too off the end of the pier. The only thing Tim and I wished for was a paddle boat so we could cruise around the lake and be nosy about the other homes there. That would have been a nice little escape for us. Although I would have liked a few quiet moments alone with Tim, it was so great to see him be able to play with our kiddos. He works so hard and so much that he often gets only the chance to be "bad cop" when he walks in the door, trying to back me up and get all our ducks in a row for the night. The kids love to play with dad cause dad is ALWAYS more fun than mom - especially when there's water involved.
We all ate very well. Every meal was an event in itself. One night Tim and dad made ribs and once again they were great! You mustn't tell them how good they are though because they've already got big heads over their rib success. They oo and ah with delight as they eat and congratulate one another during the meal. Geez guys we said they were good - enough already!
We're back home now and it's back to reality. Laundry for me. Work for Tim. It stinks!! I love having Tim with me 24 - 7. We like to pal around together and it seems that the more we do the funnier we think we are. We get to giggling at eachother's comments so much that we start to annoy my family. Kelly at one point told us to be quiet so she could hear the program we were gleefully mocking together! Ah to be married to your best friend - that's a joy! Thank you Jesus.

Kelly and Martin Are Here!

Kelly and Martin and the kids of course are all here. Well actually they've been here a while now...with all the fun (and a lot of meal making) I haven't been online at all.

It is so nice to have them here. When we get together which is only once a year it's as if no time has passed. We all fall into our relaxed operating modes and just tease, laugh, argue, make -up as if we're together all the time. Sure we're a "dysfunctional family" as they like to call it. But whose isn't?! At the end of the day we love each other and I can always count on my big sis Kelly to be the kind and thoughtful woman I love! She can always count on me to be the loud-mouthed lil' sis she's learned to tolerate!! (Hee hee hee)

Our kids love each other too and that makes me feel so good. They really enjoy being together and it'll be sad to see them go.