We say "children are a blessing" - But do we mean it?

Rudeness and “breeders” * Bettnet.com: "I have 4 children and I admit that at times I get frazzled. I often wonder if I could handle any more. But I realize that this is a deficiency in me. The fact that I can’t be more patient, more generous, more self-sacrificing are weaknesses on my part that I should strive to overcome. I think that people often make comments like, “I am so done having kids”, because they are trying to justify and make excuses for their shortcomings. The prevailing culture provokes us to be self centered and self indulgent. But at some level, many realize this is wrong. So they need to rationalize their selfishness by saying those who accept more than 1 or 2 kids are the crazy ones. When in reality, true happiness comes from an emptying of oneself in the service of others, whether that be your children or whoever. How many examples of the rich and famous who are lonely and miserable need to be paraded in front of us before we get this?
Posted by Dan Jasmin on 05/8/07 at 03:16 PM"

This reminds me of a very old Oprah show I saw. Oprah had a bunch of women on to talk about one of her books. A Book Club thing. Anyhow one of the women they profiled shared "her story" with Oprah and millions of viewers too!!

What was her story?

She had 2 children but desperately wanted another child. She and her husband were having fertility troubles. It was heartbreaking. She wanted nothing more than to have another baby and it seemed she could not.

She prayed very hard for God to give her this. And God being a good and gracious God - she finally got pregnant!! Hooray! Nine months later she gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Glory be to God. But, what's this? A defect in this miracle of miracles? The baby girl had Downs Syndrome.

Try as she might the mother just "could not love her". I remember these words exactly!!! She actually said that she realized "that I could not love her as she deserved to be loved" Ok so you get help with that right? You try to CORRECT YOUR defect right? This is "a deficiency in me" (as Dan Jasmin puts it so well) should be her response. But it is not.

This mother, decides that what is best for her daughter is to be given away. She puts her daughter up for adoption. She gives her miracle baby way to another woman "who can love her as she deserves to be loved". This other woman has many children with disabilities in her home. Yet, she does not have a husband to help her. (at least not one that they showed on the show)

And how do all the other women on the Book Club panel respond? They APPLAUD her "courage" for recognizing her "weakness" and "limits" and giving her daughter a chance to be loved...Crap! all of it Crap!

This was years ago that I saw this and to this very day it STILL bother me. Why did this woman see the defects in her child but could not see her own? Did she not feel compelled to

search her own souls and ask "Why can I NOT love?" "I must love" "Lord help me to love"

Nope. I'll just remove that stumbling block. I asked for a baby and when I got one I said "Oh never mind God, I've changed my mind" "But thanks anyways."

We say "children are a blessing" - But do we mean it?

Rudeness and “breeders” * Bettnet.com: "What’s crazy is that these are not isolated incidents. From my experience, it’s really the norm for mothers to speak of children that way. I was at a playgroup one time where ALL the women there agreed that they were “done” having kids. Two were pregnant and were planning to be sterilized when they went to the hospital to have the baby. The other women’s husbands had vasectomies scheduled. None of them were older than 32.
What’s most disturbing is that all of this was discussed in front of their toddlers. So weird.
Posted by Jennifer F. on 05/8/07 at 12:39 PM"

This is a comment from a post on a great blog I've been reading lately. The original post discussed the willingness of others to express their opinions, regardless of how RUDE it may be. Haven't they ever heard the phrase "If you can't say something nice. don't say anything at all." ??? Even my little ones know THIS!!

5/23/07Cat Fight on the View, Rosie vs Elizabeth

5/23/07Cat Fight on the View, Rosie vs Elizabeth

I am absolutely sickened by The View! I have always hated it from its very beginnings. But as of late, every time I hear of another Rosie rant I am reminded of how many women sit in front of the tv like mind numbed sheep bleating Bah bah bah....

This crap passes for intellectual discussion among women? I know that Elizabeth is supposed to be the token "conservative" on the show but she really does her fellow conservatives a disservice. She is NOT good at beating down Rosie or the other fallen away Catholic airbag what's her name?!

These women and for the most part the women who elect to tune into this show are the worst kind of women there are. They are non-thinking emotion-triggered, short sighted, self indulgent, egotists, who believe they are smart, well-informed, humanitarians! Oh and how the world is against them!

This is the kind of thing that makes me NUTS! Just when I want to get beyond politics and pop culture and dig deeper into my own spiritual life - this is the kind of thing that just sucks me back in! I wish I could say I don't care and that it doesn't effect me. But in a way it does effect me. Our whole culture is shaped and influenced by these pop culture figures whether we like it or not. I live in this screwed up country and therefore I reap the consequences of this type of "brain rot".

I see it in the idle chatter of my fellow neighborhood housewives and their constant whining about their lives and belittling of their husbands. I see it in the selfishness of mothers who choose to work just for the sheer "pleasure" of it and ship their token 2 kids off to daycare while explaining away any residual guilt by telling me how good the daycare is for their kids' "socialization". I am surrounded by a plague of empty foolish women who pass themselves off as modern and enlightened and look down their noses at my backwards simpleton way of life yet pretend to "admire" me for all my "choices".\

Women really are the problem with this world. I really do feel like that. We set the tone for the culture. We have lost our way - and The View just isn't lookin' good from where I stand...

Offensive?

I was sorting through many of my "favorite images" today. It occurred to me that many of them I hesitate to use on this blog. They have partial nudity. I find them beautiful. Yet I am well aware that some may be "offended" by them. Therefore I fore go using them to illustrate my points on the value of motherhood, the beauty of authentic womanhood, or the truth of the complementarity of the sexes. I'd like to share more of them but I'd always feel the need to explain their purpose...

It is funny how easily we are trained to accept magazine covers like this one as "acceptable", while at the same time shunning a nursing mother into a bathroom stall to feed her baby! We gladly sit in front of the "boob tube" and watch "Housewives" act like pigs, and young single women live lives filled with casual sex in "The City". But scan past the National Geographic channel and catch a glimpse of an African mother topless with a baby strapped to her back working in the fields and suddenly we're HORRIFIED!!

So many here in America have lost all sense of what our bodies are FOR. People certainly haven't a clue that their bodies have a deep spiritual/theological meaning! For goodness sakes most women I know don't even feel comfortable with their own breasts being used for their intended purpose - feeding a baby! Tim, told me a story of a woman he spoke with once. They were casually exchanging pleasantries about one another's families. It came up that I nurse our babies. He told me that the woman looked shocked and a little uncomfortable with that notion to which he asked "Don't you breastfeed?" "Oh NO! these are only for my husband!" as she pointed to her own breasts. Well folks, that sums it up then doesn't it?

We haven't a clue what our bodies are for anymore. In fact we have completely separated our personhood from our bodies. It's as if we imagine them to be just another accessory or gadget we can use and manipulate to gain the maximum amount of production and pleasure. We keep them "tuned up" and make sure they're "up to date" and when they get old and worn out we gladly throw them out like trash. The irony is that at the same time that we devalue our bodies by using them simply as objects we only objectify them further by holding them up to be worshipped and adored as if they are gods!

Only those who understand that our bodies, our flesh, is an essential part of our spiritual identity can appreciate their own body as a key to understanding their very purpose here on earth. Our bodies MEAN something. Something important and amazing and mysterious. Don't we all want to know what that is? Are people satisfied with "Last Chance for Hot Sex" as an acceptable "goal"? Don't we want better? The Truth will set you free - read JPII's Theology of the Body.

Only in a world that's lost its understanding of Truth, what is truly beautiful can "offend" and what truly offends is found to be acceptable.

News I Fear IS Most Likely True...

According to a rumor posted on Islamist websites, the American forces have discovered the headless bodies of two of the kidnapped American soldiers. The reports stated that the bodies were found on May 18, after six days of searching, and that the search for the third soldier, whose fate remains unknown, is still continuing. Sources in the Mahmudiyya police force stated that the bodies were found near one of the parks in the city and bear signs of severe torture.

What Can I say? This type of brutality and lack of even the most basic concepts of the humanity and dignity of a person - even if they are your "enemy" - is what we are up against. Some of us "get it", but sadly most do not.

Addison

Today I was able to participate in the baptism of my second godchild. My first godchild being my neice Sarah. Sadly though, Sarah lives in Germany with my big sis and brother-in-law (her mom and dad). I was not able to actually attend her baptism. I hate that.

Today I participated in the baptism of Addison. Addison is the daughter of our good friends Dawn and Don. I felt so honored to be asked and I was so glad I could actually BE there.