Being "Open to Life" - Revisited at the Family Reunion

"I thank God that I've learned the most important lesson about 'being open to life' from a simple woman named Leona - It's WORTH it!" This is a line from a previous post http://kristhinks.blogspot.com/2007/05/being-open-to-life-its-not-always-easy.html , and was again reinforced yesterday for me. Yesterday was a family reunion for us. My mom's side of the family all got together on the same property that most of them were raised/grew up on as children. There was a big turn out. Needless to say there were many aunts, uncles, and cousins (second, third, twice-removed, etc.) there that I didn't even know or remember. I am happy that we went.





It was a shock to my kids' systems to see and be around so many (loud) people! We live so far away from extended family and we generally don't socialize with large groups of people, that for them it was a tad bit overwhelming. As for me? I loved it! I live for a loud crowded party of multi-generational folks all telling stories and laughing loudly. There was much laughter and some tears shed as well. It was difficult and yet also wonderful to see my cousins Mary and Ann there. They are two daughters of my beloved aunt Bonnie. Seeing them just triggered something in me and I shed tears just looking at them...





After a time, and lots and lots of brownies, cake, and cookies, my kiddos had "warmed up" and were runnin' around with the rest of the gang. It brought back good memories for me to see them chasing their cousins around the yard in between stops at the sweets table to "refuel". Uncle Bob and aunt Peg were there and the "Chicago clan" as we like to call them. I always love to see uncle Bob and aunt Peg. They have a special place in my heart. Gloria came too of course (my second mother) as she is family through love not blood. The individual families took turns gathering for pictures in front of gram and gramp's original grape vine (that is now huge I might add!maybe 25 feet long?). Gram sure made a lot of great jelly from those grapes. It was fitting that we should pose there.









He is the vine we are the branches. A family, like a vine, is judged by its fruit. So, there we were, the fruit, lining up in front of this great symbol. Grandma and grandpa planted that vine and now it has grown so large and it continues to bear good fruit. But what shall we do with the gifts we've been given? Will we let the fruit rot on the vine? No. We must allow ourselves to be crushed, pressed, and then offer up the best , the sweetest parts of ourselves for the benefit and service of others. This is the call of every family - to ground itself in the Lord - to grow and bear fruit - for each little one to be pressed and changed. Then to unite these efforts and produce great things for all to enjoy. I pray that each one of us can respond to this call.









We have been so blessed by the size of our family and the Catholic identity we share. We must never fail to see this as a blessing. Then we must go out into the world and share this good news - large families are not a curse or an embarrassing "accident" or a result of the ignorance of simpletons who lack self control (or birth control). They are a blessing and an opportunity to produce great things which benefit this world greatly. We should not be ashamed, but rather proud that we are part of His vine and that we have many many branches that can serve the Lord. We too often take for granted what gram did by dismissing her sacrificies as the work of a saint we ourselves cannot follow or repeat.









She surely is a saint now in heaven but she was just one simple woman who said "yes" to God over and over again. In the end the vine that sprung from Tom and Leona must be seen as God's work not simply their work. Gram MUST have known this and THAT is why she willingly CHOSE to have 13 babies. She lived her life to serve the Lord not Tom. His grumpy often over bearing nature can cloud this truth and make us all miss the higher lesson we must learn from Leona. She may have been submitting to Tom and as a result seemed to be allowing herself to be abused. This is a notion we reject as "modern" people on the grounds of dignity and justice. This is very well true - gram DID deserve to be treated with greater dignity and with far greater fairness. But she must have seen past her crosses and gazed upon her Master - the owner of the vineyard. He gave her the strength and the singular purpose she required to carry on with her work. And so, she produced much fruit and it was sweet fruit she shared with the world. Let us keep our eyes fixed on the Master of the vineyard.









When we are tempted to cut off branches refusing to produce fruit for fear or for self indulgence let us see the error of our ways. Every person at that reunion was wanted by the Lord - the owner of the vineyard. Every person, every child who ran around with joy, every baby in its mother's arms and in the womb is called to be here - to be good fruit forthe world.







This world is STARVING!
So let us bear much fruit and feed this hungry hungry world.

Things Only Dad Can Do

There are some things that only dad can do. For example - throw his own children gleefully into the air allowing them the sheer joy of landing with a giant splash into the pool. "No way mom can do that!" says Collin as he looks at his dad with wonder and adoration. Also, dad actually jumps into the pool and

joins his kids happily where as mom has to ease her way in. Even then (after she's gotten "used to the water") she's never as much fun as dad. Dad plays racing games, and sharks and minnows, and does cannonballs into the pool to make the biggest splash possible! "Wow dad! You're cool!" Need I say more? This is when I love my husband most - when he is doing those things I cannot or will not because my mothering feminine nature is either too weak or just too plain ol' chicken to do so!

Fun at Gram's Pool

Too bad this kind of fun won't be for much longer. The kids (and myself included) are really gonna miss this house and this pool. I don't see a pool in the near future for Tim and I. Don't really have 40 grand just lying around...oh well there's always the sprinkler - bummer!

Safe In the Arms of Big Sis

I am most proud and happiest when I see my children loving and helping one another. It is probably the only time that the word "beaming" actually applies.

Thank you God for giving me these children and by Your grace helping them to love one another as they should. (well, most of the time anyway)

Gone Fishin'

Tim and I and the kids went fishing. The good news? Collin LOVED IT!!! He caught the one and only fish of the day. Tim and I learned quickly that we must find a better fishing spot in the future. But all in all we had fun.
The bad news? Mary Grace HATED IT!!! She didn't like the bait, the worms, the bugs buzzing around, or the fish! I guess she's not gonna be the "outdoorsy" type. There were some tears shed on her part and a lot of "I'm never gonna bring you along again Mary Grace" on her dad's part.
But she survived and she will be forced in the future to go fishing against her will. Our family is a loving monarchy, not a democracy.

Me Me Me Me Me

Tim and I back in college - looking "cheesy"




























Tim and I after a few years of marriage had "learned us good"!




"Me me me me me" is a little tune Tim likes to sing. He sings it like a vocalist warming up before a performance. Can you hear it? Okay, good. Now you must know that he is not trying to impress me with his vocal talents but rather is mocking me and shaming me into an attitude reversal. When I begin to have a royal pity party for myself and begin sentence after sentence with "I" he sings this little tune. It goes something like this:



"I want to go somewhere for a change. I want to get out too and do what I want like the other moms. I want to have more time to myself. I want to come and go for once as I please. I want to be pregnant and nursing free for more than a couple of months in my life..." then Tim will cut off this pity party with a little "Me, me, me, me, me".



We both start laughing and usually I'll hit him in the shoulder and say "Alright, alright - you're right. Just let me vent a little ok?"



We both use this little tune whenever we see one another (or others even), becoming a little more than self-absorbed. It's our little inside joke, and we love it! It is a great way to stop each other from going down that dangerous "me" path and getting back on track to a life devoted to others. You have to be able to catch yourself and laugh at yourself if you ever expect to change for the better.



A while back I wrote a post titled Growing Up or Growing Old?. Where I talk about all the benefits of marrying and having a family YOUNG! These are the kinds of things we've learned and developed together to help one another "grow up" over the past ten years. I know that some people, many people looked at us back then and thought "hell, they'll never make it"but how wrong they were! I truly believe it only BENEFIT TED us to be young, poor, and struggling. It kept us humble and it made us search for answers and dig deep inside to persevere. It made us stronger and we are better for it now. Too many people want to start off married life and family life when life is ideal and all seems so "perfect". Then they say they are "ready" to "settle down". But I feel like today we've replaced being "ready" with being completely self-indulged and spoiled. By that time it's next to impossible to undertake the self-sacrifice and selflessness that marriage and family life demands of you for its success. People get a tune stuck in their head and they just can't shake it. And it goes something like this "Me, me, me, me, me......."

The Quiet Man

This movie was on last week on one of the cable channels. It is one of my favorite movies. I love the kind of man that is the main character, Sean. He is just about the quintessential man for me at least. He is strong without being overbearing. He is honorable and dignified without being pretentious or self-righteous. He is handsome without being overly "groomed" or a "girly-man" as I like to call them "pretty boys". For those of you who have not seen this movie - see it! Rent it from the video store and enjoy.

I actually watched it a second time around with my 2 oldest girls. There is some mature content but it is easily explained and "softened" for the mind of a 9 year old. This is because things are implied and not shown like modern movies which show anything and everything possible. (Even the stuff we'd rather NOT see - yuck!) Anyhow, we all loved it! I talked with the girls about tradition and customs and of honor. We watched how patient Sean was with trying to please his wife who was EXTREMELY stubborn and proud. We had a great time, just us girls, watching this wonderful love story.

One of My Favorite Places To Go

One of my favorite places to go visit is Notes from the Trenches. It is a FANTASTIC blog that NEVER fails at making me laugh. Out loud. Often I speak to my computer screen like I'm speaking to a friend. I really wish I knew this woman. She has a writing style I envy and a sense of humor that is witty a and ALWAYS 100% dead on! Here is a sample of her writing and her attitude which keeps me coming back for more...


She writes...

"Sometimes it is hard to tell if they are well intentioned and poorly written, or asking exactly what they seem to be.
Today this email graced my inbox. I reprint it here in it’s entirety.

Did you always want a large family, or did they just start coming out faster than you knew what you were getting yourself into?
Just Wondering.

I could have emailed back privately, but I thought that other people might want to know the same thing. So here is my response.
Dear Just wondering,
Yes that is exactly what happen. Babies started shooting out of my crotch like ice cubes from a jammed ice cube dispenser, while I screamed, “Make it stop! Make it stop! My uterus runneth over!” "



You MUST stop by her blog and read some of her other entries as well. She is thoughtful and sweet. She has a deep love and devotion for her family. She is a great example of what it means to be a "traditional" Christian mother who manages to keep her individuality and her humor in tact.

Fatherhood

Dad Quotes:
Douglas Macarthur:
"By profession I am a soldier and take pride in that fact.
But I am prouder – infinitely prouder – to be a father.
A soldier destroys in order to build;
the father only builds, never destroys.
The one has the potentiality of death;
the other embodies creation and life.
And while the hordes of death are mighty,
the battalions of life are mightier still.
It is my hope that my son, when I am gone,
will remember me not from the battle field
but in the home repeating with him our simple daily prayer,
'Our Father who art in Heaven.'"

Fatherhood

Bill Cosby quotes: “Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.”
Bill Cosby quotes (American Actor, Comedian and Producer)

This is the kind of emotion based non thinking comments which rule the hot button issues of our day

This is a quote from the Chicago Sun Times article I reference in my post Self Love Becomes Self Worship........Anti-gay marriage question blocked from 2008 ballot: "Jean Chandler, 62, of Cambridge, came with fellow members of her Baptist church in an effort to rebuff the image that strict followers of the Bible are opposed to gay marriage.
''I think being gay is like being left-handed,'' Chandler said. ''If we decided left-handed people couldn't marry, what kind of society would we be?'' "

Happy Birthday Miriam

A little late but not without a LOT of LOVE!!!

I would have used a RECENT photo.

But your mom never sends me any.

There IS something called the internet and photos do very well being sent via it....hint hint.....

Self Love Becomes Self Worship

You turn on the tv or the radio anymore and you'll hear something about the "oppressed" gays. It is said they are mistreated, denied their basic rights, and otherwise rejected by society. We are told that this is unkind, unfair, and even unchristian. A loving, accepting society is one in which we embrace our gay brothers and sisters and applaud them for their sexual behavior. A forward thinking open-minded culture is one in which we encourage our children to explore all options and interests in regards to their sexuality. It doesn't hurt anyone for gays to love one another and to be together openly. So why make a big deal about it?




It's a big deal because it does hurt people. First and foremost it hurts the gays themselves. Secondly it degrades the sex act and reduces it to an urge to be satisfied as we see fit. This leads to a level of shallowness that robs us of our humanity and our God given identities.









Why the big surge in "gayness"? Some will say that it isn't a surge at all. They would argue that the number of "out" gays is greater only because of the greater acceptance of it. They've been here all along... I couldn't disagree more. I believe that the rise in number and "openness" of gays is directly related to the promotion of self-love at all costs by our culture.









The traditional more conservative culture of the early 20th century has been depicted as one of oppression, rigid orthodoxy, and unhealthy sexual attitudes. Some of this may well be true. But the revolution which happened in the 60's and which continues today does not distinguish between those attitudes and norms which these earlier "oppressive" generations held and the unhealthy or unfair practices that may have accompanied them. One example might be the attitude that men being the stronger sex should "rule" their homes and wear the proverbial "pants". This old well-accepted norm of the past is not in of itself wrong. It may have been abused and misinterpreted by some to mean men can bully their wives and act as supreme dictators over women generally. But to throw out a natural truth such as men are stronger and should therefore act as protectors and guardians of women and children and lead them, because of these abuses, is simply short sighted and irrational.









The same holds true for the norms and attitudes held in the sexual arena. It used to be that sex was for making babies and creating families. It was an accepted attitude that the most basic unit of society was man, woman, and child. This foundation was held in such esteem that the sex act was therefore confined to the establishment of the family alone. This may have been, like my earlier example, abused and misinterpreted by many to mean that men and women are simply "breeders" and "producers" of a good citizen "product". But this abuse does not negate the basic truth of man+woman+child=family=basic foundational unit of every good society. It should not require ANY religious convictions to see the logic and truth in this. Doesn't it just make plain sense? Not anymore.

The state of Mass. has not only enshrined the "right" to marry someone of the same sex but has now also barred its citizens from voting on the matter for themselves. It seems the state legislature and the courts feel that they know better. They can't allow the backwards masses to determine something as important as this. What if they got it wrong and reverted back to tradition (eeww yuck - how unsophisticated)? This goes to show that those in positions of authority and power have no respect for the voters beyond just getting their vote into office. It's as if our leaders are saying "Just vote me in you horse's ass and then shut up and let me lead you where I know you need to go." and then the masses sit idly by and let this happen term after term...








Why has this particular issue been relegated to the "religious right"? Is "traditional" marriage no longer seen as "mainstream"? When did it become "radical" to view one man's and one woman's union to one another, as THE essential rock bed of civilized society? What we are saying when we enshrine this standard in our laws is that this is the ultimate, the superior, the ideal union. Yes, it is possible for something to be superior to another. Why is this so? There is no better union than one man and one woman because together they form a bond which reflects the very best of humankind. Together they reflect ideals which raise up a society. Together they reinforce everything that is good about humankind - cooperation, complementarity, selflessness, life-affirmation, preservation, and promotion, and ultimately continuity and permanence of purpose.







There are those who would argue that a same sex couple can demonstrate and reflect these same ideals. They can exhibit the best of human nature, humankind too. Ah, but they cannot. They can as individuals be perfect mirrors of many virtues and values which support and lift up our society. They can as individuals reinforce the value of human life, the dignity of the person, the value of friendship and self-sacrifice. But the moment they become sexually united to a person of the same sex they have lost this ability to represent themselves as a couple. They are a walking contradiction. They are not and can never be in fact "one" with the one they love. This isn't mere biology. This goes deep deep to the heart of our spiritual natures. We are not just flesh and blood - animals. We have a deeper purpose and call. I feel like most agnostics, even atheists would agree with this. They may not say we have a "soul" but they may say that our intellect lifts us up to a level beyond the reach of all other species. Then what does this superiority demand of us?








The mistake modern society makes is that they respond to this truth (that we are "higher" than all other life on earth) with presumption not responsibility. They presume that this entitles us to do as we please without restraint or consequence. They fail to see the weight of this status. We are higher so therefore we are called to something higher. Yet, we get it wrong again and again. "We are higher, therefore I can do all the lower things I please and still call myself enlightened." This is modern self love, self worship at its core.







We are constantly told to love ourselves. This IS a good thing. But we lose our way when we define love as license. We say love shouldn't hurt. But it does. And it SHOULD! So how do we love ourselves? We indulge ourselves in every whim and pleasure. Then, we call it a right and finding other like-minded people, call ourselves an oppressed minority. Because sexual desire is so powerful and also so very important biologically and more so, spiritually, we go after this area with intensity of purpose! Gays MUST have their right to satisfy their sexual needs and desires. Gays MUST have a right to marry a person of the same sex and act as a "family" as they see fit. Gays have equal status as citizens of this country and it is wrong to deny them their rights. I agree with this last statement whole heartily. I disagree however with the notion that a gay man or woman should be able to "join with" another gay person of the same sex and say this "union" is EQUAL to one man and one woman.








Our obsession with self-love has turned many into self-worshippers. This is the reason that homosexuality is on the rise. This, along with many other sexual sins, greed, crime, materialism, and vanity - all plagues of the 21st century. We have replaced God with ourselves and in doing so we rationalize every selfish behavior as simple "self-love". I must love myself you know. I must accept myself the way I am. Not at all my friends. Where is the progress in that line of thinking? Can't you see how illogical it is? "I must accept myself the way I am" is the mark of total stagnation and self-rot - not GROWTH! We should and must always be trying to improve ourselves. It is an act of genuine love to push ourselves, even when it hurts, to be better and reach higher. It is a genuine act of love to push others, gay people for example, to reach higher even if it hurts.







Those who reject gay marriage don't hate gays. They love the Truth. For many, when the truth hurts they simply call it a lie. Somehow we must convey our message of love, genuine love, with love to our gay brothers and sisters and to the world. We must be able to say BECAUSE I love you I oppose what you want or what you do. It is a simple truth demonstrated every day in a family. I cannot allow those I love do those things which may bring them great pleasure now, if those things will bring them only pain and ultimate sadness later and for all eternity. This is real love.

Dads Matter

Reuniting Father's With Their Families: "Eighty-five percent of prisoners, 78% of high school dropouts, 82% of teenage girls who become pregnant, the majority of drug and alcohol abusers—all come from single-mother-headed households. Less than 1% of any of these categories come from single-father-headed households. This seems to indicate that the problems children encounter are not related to single-parent households, but are related specifically to single-mother-headed households. So, should we blame the mothers or the fathers? Perhaps, neither. There is no question that father-absence has reached epidemic proportions. According to Wade Horn of the National Fatherhood Initiative, we must reverse the trend in seven to eight years or it will be too late to do so."


This research just supports what I've felt all along. Dads are the parent who "grounds" their family. A mother is an essential part of bringing up a happy healthy child but she herself relies on her husband to be her foundation. As women we must get over our inferiority complex and just admit this. We need men. Our husbands are the ROCK we build our families upon. Of course Jesus is the ROCK fathers support themselves by... Whether our egos like it or not there is a hierarchy to a family and the men are second in command only to God Himself.
For this reason it is better for the children to be raised by a single dad than a single mother (all things being equal) because women tend to falter when pushed to the edge without a man there to support them. They may be financially successful and intellectually competent, but at the end of the day every woman only stands to benefit from the safety and security and protection only her husband can provide for her and her children.

Choice for Men - If women can back out of parenthood through abortion then so must men have this option as well

Metroactive News & Issues Choice for Men: "'I think we still believe in this culture, despite all these years of feminism, that men are supposed to support women and children,' DeCrow says. 'We also believe that men should pay for sex. So if a man has sex with a woman and she becomes pregnant, he must support her. That's where the cultural standard is right now.' "
And this is a bad thing? This woman feels that it is. This entire article on "choice" for men is very eye-opening. Talk about the "slippery slope"!! In truth the men who support this garbage have a fair intellectual argument here. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If women are always saying that we are equal we are the same in all things except genitalia then it only makes sense that men should have the same right to reject parenthood that woman now have under the law.
The sad thing is that we have so stripped our culture of the honor and dignity that marriage and family bring to an individual that we now have produced an entire generation of young people who will avoid it at all costs. They see both marriage and family as a necessary burden we endure for the sake of the perpetuation of our species. I am sure that if and when science comes up with a way to COMPLETELY remove human contact and connection from the begetting of new life (this would require a replacement for a mother's womb as we already have in vitro etc) many will shout with glee and say "Now we are finally our own masters! We are free!" How easily Satan can make our chains appear to be keys which unlock.

"soft" Men Aren't Men at All

I'm partial to "manly" men. Plainly put - men who act like and talk like men. I've NEVER been very fond of those "sensitive" types who cry at the drop of a hat and/or get a "male manicure".

Metro-sexuals? - YUCK!



There are advantages and disadvantages when a woman accepts men for who and what they are. It can be difficult to understand the lack of discussion and analysis, the simple cut and dry responses, the matter of fact statements free of sweetening or softening. It can be hard at times to understand what exactly is the draw of televised sports. It's men's nature to be less self-less and self-sacrificing than us women. This is the most frustrating I think. We are biologically made to be "givers" We give our bodies up, hand them over to another. We carry another within us and feed and protect this little one. We feed our babies from our breasts. We nurture, guide, hold, rock, cuddle, stay up all night, listen to every story without a point or ending in sight. We always eat last if we eat at all. We go out to buy ourselves a new pair of shoes cause ours are worn through and we come home with something for the kids instead. I could go on...
Men are not like this by nature. They can develop these skills but it doesn't come "built in". But this is as it should be. This is why we (men and women) NEED each other. These men need us just as we need them. This is exactly why it is dangerous to start "softening" our boys and form them in our image. Men need to be men. When the time comes (often this is after years of being married to a very patient and persevering woman) a man will learn how to incorporate the very best virtues women have to offer while still keeping his manhood in tact. If you try to rush this process you end up creating a bunch of boys that never quite make it to manhood and then cover for this by calling it sophistication or worse, progress!
















"I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood.
Tom Hanks
US movie actor (1956 - ) "

What We've Been Up To Lately...

Doing school at the patio table.


















Getting frustrated with all this "MATH stuff ".



















Back to the books in an effort to finish up quickly and then join the others in running through the sprinkler as our "recess" activity.

Collin's face while being scolded for leaving the yard (again).




















Our garden in the back yard. Tomatoes, cauliflower, string beans, collards, cucumbers, and strawberries.


















Monica on her bike on the patio.
















Monica saying "Cheeeeese".




















Looking at a cicada.




















Talking about the cicadas with gram and gramp - Gram gives us a short lesson...


























Running through the sprinkler with Aaron on an unusually hot May day.





















Mary grace in the sandbox. (Looking lovely)


















Morgan in the sandbox. (looking lovely too)

















Monica in the "fort" with aaron and Collin playing "kill the bad guys".


















Mary Grace's family in clay. (just the kids - Morgan, herself, Collin, Monica, and the new baby which she's SURE is gonna be a boy)



















Playing on the "fort".

Money Does NOT Equal Class!

As I sit here at 2:10 AM in the morning (Sunday morning) a group of young men/boys camps out next door in a large tent in their backyard. It is a beautiful night. It is cool and perfect sleeping weather - but neither myself nor these neighbors are asleep. I have been lying awake for the past hour due to laughter and loud voices coming from that tent.

Have I turned into a cranky old neighbor lady who's lost her memory of what it is to be young, giggly and sleep deprived? NO!! Not at all! What I am is a woman who is irritated, sickened, and (literally) shaking from anger. I have ended up here, in front of this computer, in order to restrain myself from marching over there and giving a group of "young men" a piece of my mind!

I wish I could provide some kind of audio for you all to listen to. But the following sampling will have to suffice. Here's what I've been hearing from my bedroom window for the past hour, hour and a half...

"Hey fag**t, suck my di** ok?" "Shut up bit**" "You fu**ing homo you need to stop having unprotected sex with your dog." "Bit** go fu** your mama" "You fu**ing wetback" "Ya, nice tits you have there" "Your mama's tits..." "My di** is ..." "Hey you cracker little homo get off ..." "Bit** you better not..." "Go to fu**ing sleep you little bit**"................................

This is but a sampling of the crap I've had to listen to on this beautiful night. Shut my windows? Sure, I could do that and turn the a/c on. But why should I have to? What sickens me the most in times like these (because this isn't the FIRST incident like this) is that Tim and I left our old neighborhood which was starting to be encroached by gangs and drugs etc., and moved here to "escape". Mind you we also moved because we were "trading up" for a "better neighborhood" and a bigger/better/newer house. Our house is in fact bigger, better and newer. But as for the neighborhood? The home values are 3-4 times that of our old neighborhood but the people who reside within their walls have NO CLASS at all!

In my old neighborhood, sure if I took the girls for a walk down to the park we'd see a bum drinking from a paper bag on the bench there and all the equiptment had graffiti/foul language written on it. But for goodness sakes I've got a brand new house in an "upper middle class" neighborhood now. It seems the bums now live right next door to me and the "graffiti" is audible and polluting my air!

This TRASH that lives next door to me is light years away from showing the same kind of class and decency that my old neighbors had. Yes, in their little 1950's bungalows with detached garages lived a better "class" of people than I've found here on a street where the average home price is around $400,000.(that's a lot for Illinois) My old neighborhood was filled with people of different races, levels of education, and ages. You'd see a statue of the Blessed Mother prominently displayed in some front yards. You'd see old men walking to and from the grocery store or the bakery which were nearby but still quite a "hike". But the older couples would help us "younger ones" out with bringing up our trash cans or sealing our driveways. They'd gush over our kids and warmly congratulate us on pregnancies.

Not so here in whitey white sterilized suburbia. Here we have neighbors who gather around to mumble under their breaths in horror when a new family moves in and (gasp) "Oh no! they have BLACK children!" I won't even tell you the HORRIBLE things that Tim and I heard concerning that! Neighbors who "compete" over landscaping and make derogatory comments about those who haven't "done enough with their yards" We are guilty as charged. I always say it's because we'd rather our "landscape" be filled with flowers of the human variety. Here every kid has a motorized vehicle by the age of 2. You know the kind. The mini hum-v or the tiny jeep. Every 3rd bay is filled with toys and gadgets galore. Everybody has an oversized SUV but only 2 kids. (we have a suburban but our family actually takes up all the seats) Here we have people who spend $5,000 on their kids at Christmas time (a mom actually told me herself). Our old neighbors probably spent $5,000 for their cars!!

This leads me to the title of this post. Money does NOT equal class. I think there might have been a time when that was true. But no longer. Education, money, "success", do NOT give you any sense of social grace, personal responsibility, or culture. What they give you is a big house and a license to look down your nose at the "poor folk" who live in those "bad neighborhoods". People feel the size of their mortgage entitles them to act like a foul-mouthed fool and call it "humor" or worse yet call it "humility". Yes! This is how this low-class, uncultured, unsophisticated, sophmoric behavior is viewed. "See me with my beer and my occasional f-bomb? I'm keeping it real. I haven't let this nice neighborhood and my big house go to my head. I can still hang out and fit in like a 'regular guy'. I am humble despite my 'success'. "

As for people like me. I am tolerated. I am a stuck up, self-righteous, prude. I really should get off my homeschooling, church going high horse! Maybe I should learn to "mix it up" with a little "fun" with the neighbors. I'm sooo up tight you know? I guess I'm just another one of those right wing radical extremists I hear about. The women here think they need to "convert" me or else they just avoid me like the plague. I had one neighbor say "You know what I'd love to do for you Kristan? I'd love to take you out one night and get you drunk and have you dance on the table tops with me!" Guess what lady? Been there. Done that. (little do they know...) I did something most in this neighborhood have not. I GREW UP!

I guess that's the main difference I see in people. It's not the money they make or the house or neighborhood they live in. It's not the level of education they have or even their age. It's not their race or religion. It's not even their level of religious fervor or committment ( I know that may bother some for me to say but it's true). It really comes down to a matter of those people who continue to live their lives as selfish spoiled little teenagers into their 30's, 40's, 50's, and beyond and those people who grow up and continue to grow, striving to become a better, more decent contributing member of this world. There are people who feel an obligation or better yet an opportunity to do something good for the world even if that simply means helping carry up your neighbors' garbage cans or enthusiastically congratulating them on another baby. Then there are people who feel and obligation only to themselves to do whatever is "good" for them even if that simply means keeping up your neighbor until 3AM with your foul mouthed "children"!!

Hopefully the little "men" have cursed themselves to sleep by now and I can go to bed...