Growing Up or Growing Old?

I was just reflecting on a radio interview Dennis Prager did with rabbi Schmuley (sp?) One of the many things they discussed was the rabbi's opinion that waiting to get married and waiting to start a family isn't necessarily always beneficial to the couple or their marriage. In fact, he stated that starting life together at a younger age and starting your family early actually helps to cement you together. Growing up together and learning to help one another over life's hurdles is a great way to teach the all important lesson of self-sacrifice and self-denial for the sake of our beloved. Too often people believe that they need to be "settled" and "prepared" and "economically set" before they can marry and absolutely before they will have children. This seems rational and responsible enough. But in fact, I tend to agree with the rabbi. This responsible rationale too often becomes an excuse to just stay stuck in an endless 20-something party mode. The couple works on their careers, buys a home, cars, lots of stuff, more stuff, vacations, buys more stuff, does stuff, goes out with other people who have stuff and do stuff. They enjoy each other's company, each other's incomes, each others bodies. They have hobbies, interests, family and friends - mutual and individual. But this is NOT marriage. If this goes on too long then one or both people become accustomed to and comfortable with this kind of arrangement and when time for baby comes it is a SHOCK to their systems! Many marriages cannot withstand the shock and some never recover. Others go on to see their own children as an interruption to their "real lives" and just "wait it out" and hold out hope for the time when their kids will be more self-sufficient and much less of an inconvenience. Back to the party they go... the constant search for life to entertain you goes on and these people miss the great depth the great passion between a man and a woman who have grown together, sacrificed together and changed and challenged one another to be the best version of themselves that they can possibly be. Life can be difficult. Our spouse is not just a person we fall back on in these difficult times. he or she is the hand that reaches out to pull us up, Christ present for us in our every day lives. Marriage is a journey towards the Lord - Not a path to the next party. I have experienced more joy in my married life to Tim than I ever did in my "carefree college years". We are growing up together not just growing old together and there's a big difference!