Not Cut Out for It

Jen over at "Et tu?"writes about "dying to self" and says this:

"I don't know what I used to imagine 'dying to self' would feel like, but I didn't anticipate that there would be real pain involved. (I can just picture lifelong Christians smiling knowingly at that one.) The more I live as a Christian, the more I am struck by how difficult it is. To borrow a phrase from fellow former atheist John C. Wright, I find that Christianity is a very inconvenient religion. To die to yourself as we're called to do -- to live in the moment with calm trust, to let go of your own ego and selfishness, to reject the empty high of sin -- is hard, hard work."


How right she is!! And this got me thinking. Often, simply because just existing and interacting in daily life as the stay at home mom of 5 automatically makes me a "witness" to the faith, I am confronted with those who mistake hard work with natural giftedness. Nothing could be further from the truth!

I am not a "preachy" person. I never make a point of telling others how they should live their lives. BUT I do live my own life LOUDLY. We, my crew and I (and Tim), are a walking talking interactive evangelization whether we like it or not or whether we're up to that challenge. A simple trip to the grocery store or attendance at a party can inflyuence others' attitudes and ideas about family, love, and sacrifice.

This is a good thing I suppose. At times I find it extremely daunting. I am FAR from perfect God knows! My kiddos all have their "pet" sins as well. We're a rag tag bunch but we all are in the spotlight like it or not - our unusual size and our commitment to a counter culture make it so. this kind of pressure can make me crazy. I always feel the need to "represent" well - clean, well-dressed, attractive, smart, and likeable - all MUSTS! My poor kids get lectures about this and I know I tend to go overboard...

The problem I find in all of this is the frequent misunderstanding most have about me and Tim and our crew. Very few know us well. For these folks, there is no problem. The problem arrises with those who know us nominally, or those who some how block out portions of our "witness" and see only a fantasy version of us. How often I've heard the laughable "Kris, you're a saint!" Ha Ha Ha Ha........such foolishness!!....

My canonization is soon followed by a general defensiveness. "I just couldn't do what you do." "I'm not cut out for that kind of life." "You're so much better than me...or more patient... or more whatever..." "You are amazing, Kris." "You just have great kids - mine are brats" "My kids won't sit still at mass...so we can't go like you." "You were raised like that - you're used to doing those things."

The real truth is Tim is a recent convert. I was a fallen away Catholic in college. My kids want to eat chocolate and watch tv 24/7 too. We'd like to have a pontoon boat at our vacation house. We'd like to have free time to pursue personal interests. We lose our tempers, get annoyed by our kids. Cut us and do we not bleed? We were not born with a greater capacity to suffer. We don't have some secretly formula for cultivating virtue. We are not "naturals" - some kind of rare breed with super DNA for a capacity to sacrifice. Guess what folks? It's just good old fashioned hard work. It doesn't happen over night either. It is a long slow process and it happens moment by moment, diaper by diaper, mess by mess.

So for all those who fall short of the vision God has for them because they think they're too weak to carry the crosses that demands I say this: I'm not "cut out for" this either! No one is! But if you want to "be cut out" for something it's gonna require you to bleed a little!!

The Miracle Story I Need to Tell

I gave birth to Christopher here at home in a birthing tub. Tim and my kids were there with me. I had an uneventful pregnancy as far as the baby's health goes. Every appointment was right on target and no concerns. Emotionally it was difficult though. I felt very overwhelmed and I had many worries about my ability to "keep up" with all the demands of motherhood x5. I cried a lot andI prayed a lot, especially near the end of my pregnancy. When the day finally came for me to have my baby I was excited and anxious all at once.

I went into labor and it all seemed amazingly easy for me. I had planned to offer up all my suffering and pain for my special intentions (people I am praying for) and to "hand over" these pains to the Blessed Mother to "use" as she saw fit. I walked around laboring and thinking to myself that these pains weren't strong enough to be very productive. I had no idea that I was as far along as I was. In fact, I kept telling Tim that I didn't need to get into the tub yet. He kept encouraging me "Kris get into the tub and relax - use it." I told him I didn't want to be in there forever and get all pruney thinking I had hours and hours ahead of me...
My doctor was at another birth. That mother had complications. The doctor had to accompany her to the hospital and so he felt I was a healthy/normal mom and baby and I had prior experience (this being #5) and so he sent the nurse-midwife to my home without him. Normally she would assist him at my birth. This time it was just her and infact I had never met her before. I wasn't worried though -things were going well.
Christine(the midwife) arrived and checked me. 9 centimeters and she said to get into the tub because it was "now or never" 9 centimeters???? I couldn't believe it. I remember saying to the Blessed Mother "Mother? why are you helping me so much? I wanted to give you a GREAT gift of all my pain and you're making this so easy for me. Why?" I got into the tub and about 45 minutes later Christopher was born. He was my biggest baby to date and yet he was one of the easiest to deliver. The entire time I was in the tub I was praying. I always pray during labor. That's no different. But this time two people kept coming into my mind again and again. I was NOT trying to focus on them but they kept returning to me in an unusually vivid way. Bishop Sheen and Our Lady of Mount Carmel. I remember seeing both of those images clearly before me. Internally I called out to the and asked them for help. I said inside myself "Our Lady of Mount Carmel! help my baby. " "Our Lady of Mount Carmel! Protect my baby." That was unusual for me. I NEVER use our lady's titles to call her. Normally i just think of, and pray to the "blessed mother". It's more of a general image. This was weird - it was more of a thought coming to me than me conjuring up a thought - if that makes sense.
After Christopher was born, I held him and thanked Our Lady of Mt. Carmel and Bishop Sheen. Tim, Christine and I all took note of his umbilical cord then. We actually exclaimed "wow!" as we looked at it!! It was by far the most amazing cord we'd ever seen. Christine even commented that she'd never seen a more "perfect" cord in all her time delivering babies!! It was thick, perfect in coloring and VERY STRONG!! Christine said it was a "text book" version of what an umbiliocal cord needs to be. What a remarkable "lifeline" my little boy had. Little did we know what we would soon find at the other end of this "lifeline" we were all admiring.
As is typical it was time to deliver the placenta and I thought nothing of it. The doctor or nurse must always check and examine the placenta carefully. (The umbilical cord, attaches from the baby to the placenta.) Christine was doing this as Tim, the kids and I were all focused on little Christopher. As we all were enjoying him, Christine broke in with "you've got to see this!" She was holding up the umbilical cord and she moved her finger down to the spot where it then attached to the placenta. There about 2 or 3 inches from the base of the placenta the beautiful, strong umbilical cord split into two thin scraggly pieces. They were weak "threads" in contrast to the rest of the cord. CHrstine explained how rare this was. I asked what this meant. She explained that the cord should NOT split like that and how VERY fragile this made the cord's attachment to the placenta. Still, not understanding the impact of this I said and so I asked what would have happened had they torn away? He would have died. Christopher would have been inside me, moving around and kicking as babies do and he could have gotten a little foot or hand between these two fragile lines and ripped them. This would have been a deadly, and as I later found out, often occuring accident, resulting in stillbirth. But my little Chris was able to avoid tearing these lines.
The technical explanation follows...The Pregnancy Institute - SILENT RISK chapter 1: "Another variation is called a furcate cord insertion in which the cord does not connect to the placenta but its branching elements do; however, no membranous insertion exists. These malformations account for another 0.5% to 1% of all births and are observed increased in premature labor, premature birth, fetal stillbirth, and neurologic harm.
The risk of cord vessel rupture is increased with an abnormal cord insertion. The difficulty of managing an incident such as cord rupture is great. What makes the mystery even more complicated is the location of the cord insertion in the uterus. If the membranous insertion is over the cervical opening, the risk of tearing and fetal blood loss is great."

So, you see Christopher's life and growth, and birth are the miracle story I've been needing to tell. Our Lady of Mount Carmel thank you!! Bishop Sheen thank you! Every time I kiss Chris's chubby cheeks I am eternally grateful.

Boring February Weekend

We are boring people. We are especially boring people in the winter. This winter has been bitterly cold and very snowy - that makes it even worse. We have hit new lows of couch potato-ness. MAry Grace and I take random pictures of eachother, the kiddos, and the baby to pass the time. She and I snap away then show each other our "work" in between baskets of laundry and loads of dishes. The floor must get swept at least 5 times a day. Vacuum? At least twice a day. NOT becasue we are so clean, but the opposite! Because we are such PIGS! With all this sitting around comes a lot of snacking and with all that snacking come a LOT of CRUMBS!
I look forward to springtime and walks outside. The kids have taken to running around the basement in their white socks in an effort to see who can get them the blackest. I've given up on trying to get them white again...as long as it smells clean looks are a secondary luxury. Tim is in his office working on keeping the IRS off his clients' backs and listening to his Napster saves full blast. Every once in a while the kids and I will peer in through the french doors to his office and catch him singing Kelly Clarkson's "Break Away". We all get a good laugh and then he chases us all back into the kitchen where we discuss what we're gonna eat for lunch ten minutes after breakfast has ended and likewise discuss dinner ten minutes after we've finished lunch...aaah winter - such fun!!!

Tim's Wit

Another Sunday morning spent talking and arguing politics together. Tim is the ultimate idealist. He will hold out his vote for only the BEST candidate. If you don't cut the mustard then he's gonns either vote for some no name without a snowball's chance in... or else he'll abstain from voting all together. I, on the other hand believe there is a need to be more practical about these things. I will "hold my nose" and pull the lever if I have to- as long as the candidate is pro-life...Tim HATES this about me!!!!
I mock his ideqalism and his "conspiracy-theory" tendencies, and he mocks my faith in the system as naive and stupid. Together, this makes for quite a rowdy Sunday morning battle infront of the tv. The tension at times is palpable. He and I were at a stand off during a commercial break. When he broke the tension by making me laugh - he always does that!
How?
Well, it is a well known fact that John McCAin has MANY weird arm movements and that he is constantly making gestures which make him look stiff and robotic. Tim and I have pointed this out to one another in all fun many times before. So, Tim breaks the tension in our standoff by leaning back on the couch, breathing a loud sigh of resignation, and then saying "Okay Kris, I'll vote for John McCain if he can raise his hands over his head." To which my only response was laughter and a simple "Yep, that's why I love you Tim!"
Come to find out, I googled McCain's weird arm situation and sadly found out that it's a result of the severe torture he suffered as a POW...oops! Sorry John - but it was funny at the moment..."guess you just had to be there" as they say

Jenny singing Summertime - In Memory of Jenny

a while ago I wrote a post about my cousin Jenny dying at the young age of 23. This is her singing in high school. She already had an amzing voice!! I play this cd of her and I really feel like the world lost a beautiful soul!! love you Jenny!

TOB Anthem?

I love this song first of all. But as I lstened to it again today I thought to myself it would make a great "theme song" or "anthem" for Theology of the Body. If I had the time and the talents I would LOVE to assemble a video clip/picture montage to accompany this song to introduce people to the TOB concepts - what a great "pump you up" intro it would make!

Why Buy the Cow When...?

It seems that young women are annoyed with their prospects - men who behave like boys instead of men. I found two articles on this topic of today's men failing to be REAL men and how they seem to be indefinitely stuck in perpetual adolescence. I found these articles from Dennis Prager's blog and looked over there because I often check his podcas radio show for interesting topics. I miss hearing his radio show daily - he ALWAYS covered interesting and important topics that other talk radio guys fail to cover.
Anyhow the jist of the articles goes like this - men in their 20's and 30's are failing to GROW UP and become real men. They are NOT marrying material and young women are very frustrated with this phenomena. The articles seek to discover the causes of this and they do a good job actually. Of course when I read anything I'm always reading it with a Catholic theological perspective with a definite bent on TOB. So these paragraphs jumped out at me...(SYM=single young males)

Child-Man in the Promised Land by Kay S. Hymowitz, City Journal Winter 2008:

"Like Hornby, Kunkel sees the easy availability of sex as a source of slacker apathy. In a world of serial relationships, SYMs “fail to sublimate their libidinal energies in the way that actually makes men attractive,” Kunkel told a dismayed female interviewer in Salon. With no one to challenge them to deeper connections, they swim across life’s surfaces.
The superficiality, indolence, and passionlessness evoked in Hornby’s and Kunkel’s novels haven’t triggered any kind of cultural transformation. .. The SYM doesn’t read much, remember, and he certainly doesn’t read anything prescribing personal transformation. The child-man may be into self-mockery; self-reflection is something else entirely.
That’s too bad. Men are “more unfinished as people,” Kunkel has neatly observed. Young men especially need a culture that can help them define worthy aspirations. Adults don’t emerge. They’re made."

WOW!! Although the author of this article is female she fails to connect the dots completely. We - WOMEN are to blame for these men failing to GROW UP!!! How? it's right there in the article..."With no one to challenge them to deeper connections, they swim across life's surfaces." The no one challenging them is US - WOMEN!!! We are not challenging them because we've bought into the lie that preserving our virginity untiol marriage is antiquated, old-fashioned and stifling. We are "liberated" women!! We fail to see how much men really NEED us! We are so busy trying to be like men to prove our strength that we completely miss the power we've been given and choose to throw away. We want men to be caring, responsible, protective, honorable, and self-sacrificing. That's a MAN - the kind we wan to marry and have children with. We may be demanding this with our words, as these writers do so well in their articles, but we demand nothing with our actions. We speak one thing - but our bodies are telling another story.

Pre-marital sex and the contraceptive culture have created a message that men are getting loud and clear and this childishness is simply the result of years of "hearing" this message we've spoken with our bodies. Bishop Sheen tells us that the measure of any culture is found in its women. This is because, he says, women are the leading influence on men's behavior. It is through the "demands" women make through their bodies that men "fall in line" so to speak. Why do we find men more and more immature, running from any and all responsibilities of true manhood today? Because women have failed to realize their true power. Their true power lies in embracing their weaknesses and vulnerabilities as transfoming powers over the opposite sex. True power lies in their ability to carry new life within and to support and nurture that life in a way only a woman can. "Hearing" this men will oncle again aspire to "deserve" and "earn" the love of their beloved. They will prove themselves capable and ready to protect, defend and honor this woman they seek. Then, they truly can be MAN and wife.

Sadly, sometimes I think even those men who do "settle down" and marry remain boys as well. Because their wives buy into the lie about contraception they just perpetuate the same thing they may have experienced in single life. These men seem to be grown ups because they have a job, a mortgage and a mini-van. Yet they too have failed to become the total man God wants them to be. They want the pleasure without the pain. They can't see that this last hurdle must be overcome in order that they can be a real leader of their family. Smehow even these men like the SYM of the articles (which I encourage you all to read in full), seem to demonstrate the truth found in a very old saying "Why by the cow when you get the milk for free"

Happy Birthday to Daddy - Tim

hey I just tried for the very first time to upload video to a youtube account and then paste it here on my blog!! It worked!! Hooray!! I think I might try to do more of this from now on... Oh and for those of you who have never heard my voice before - my deepest apologies for making you suffer through a really bad off key rendition of "Happy Birthday" plus "verse two"!! I STINK at singing!!

LIVE! - Talking with "Kel" - Cheap version of a web-cam

This me talking to Kelly while holding baby and also typing on keyboard with one finger. Kelly needed cheering up...

Cheering Kelly Up

Kelly's house was a mess. Kelly had to clean up and lacked motivation. Kelly felt BAD. I assured her MY house was messy too!! Cheer up Kel, your little sister is way behind in her "to do' list too

It's the Culture Stupid

Well Mitt is out of the race. I just watched his address at CPAC. As I listened to Mr. Romney I felt like asking "Why weren't you talking like this all along Mitt?" i think he'd have fared better if he'd given this type of address from the get go.

If you watched this speech as I did you heard Mr. Romney talk about the culture. He emphasized the transforming power of culture and how everything else are just ripples left by its impact. THIS is the message America needs to hear and understand.

The economy, the healthcare system, the minimum wage, the schools, the social security system, taxes, gov't programs, are all meaningless if our culture's in the toilet!! Americans must be inspired to aspire to greatness through sacrifice not coddled like children waiting to be spoonfed by the gov't.

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet lose his soul?

Sad to say Mc Cain doesn't get it and he'll continue to belittle and disregard true conservatives because he fails to see - it's the culture stupid!

Well Fed

Over at "Et tu?": Jennifer writes - "The fun wasn't fun enough, the luxuries weren't luxurious enough, the excitement wasn't exciting enough to completely smother out that part of my soul that begged for something more. It wasn't that I wasn't grateful -- to the contrary, I regularly felt overwhelmed with gratitude for all the wonderful things in my life -- it's that there was a subtle but present sense of despair that these things weren't doing what they were supposed to do. I was kind of happy. But why wasn't I fully happy, why wasn't I completely at peace, why was I still a little bit restless, even when I technically had it all?"

She describes the dilema I see most of America in today, so clearly. Most of us "have it all". we live nice lives. We have lots of "stuff" and there's plenty of "fun" to be had. Yet, people walk around with smilig faces that seem so empty to me when I look into their eyes. They may experience pleasure but they lack JOY! This joy is the joy only knowing Jesus can bring. So they stuff themselves with pleasure after pleasure. They're like gluttoness feeders who feast on all the goodies at a holiday dinner and then head for the couch, unzip their pants, and feel full yet empty and disgusted at the same time.

We must stop snacking on pleasure thinking we'll eventually be filled, satisfied and we must feast on living bread instead! He is the real food that satifies and leaves us JOY-filled despite living lives which otherwise seem to the world to be mundane and boring. I am one of those who lives a life of mediocrity according to the world's biggest feeders. How is it then that I am filled with joyfullness? I must be a simpleton and a fool right? Nope. I'm just well-fed!

We Love Our Baby

We love this little guy. When a new baby comes into this family he or she always becomes the center of attention. Christopher is no different. The kids love to hold, talk to and play with him. They love having another little baby in the family. I have never had to deal with jealousy or resentment in my home due to a new baby. I feel like that is in large part because Tim and I both always emphasize two things with our kids. 1. Babies are a great and wonderful gift from God to us. 2. You are not the center of the universe therefore sacrifice is mandatory, not optional.
I think this combo must be working. Even in those moments when my kids are leaning heavily towards the selfishness and self-centeredness that is naturally in us all from birth, if I remind them of how ugly or hurtful it is to be selfish they generally "wake up" and change their tune. Example: "Morgan hold the baby for me while I make dinner ok?" "mom (in an extremely whiney voice) I don't want to he wiggles too much and he pulls my hair...(the reality is she wants to watch Cyberchase on PBS and doesn't want to be bothered) "Morgan - your brother needs you and so do I now stop it and hold him 'cause he loves you so much just look at him!" Christopher with perfect timing looks at his big sis and gives her a drooly wet grin. "Ok mom - come here Chris you wittle cutie - I love you too I love you too..."Morgan walks off with him and continues her baby talk to him happily.
Last night Tim and I were watching Nancy Grace and she was discussing a case of a 3 mth old baby found on the side of the road. They played the 911 call from the man who found the baby while he and his wife were walking together. He was weeping on the line. Tim and I both listened and I cried too of course. We were so caught up in the story and the details of this horrible case we failed to notice that it had caught the attention of Morgan and Mary Grace who had come into the room to say goodnight to us. They started asking a lot of questions. I always tell them these kinds of truths very gently. But I always tell the truth. I never lie to them about the evil in the world but I always gives them a sense of HOPE that this is not how the world will always be. I use these moments to teach them that God wants them to grow and learn so that they can make this world a better place. Their lives make a difference and their prayers are powerful. We all prayed together...Morgan reminded me "Mom he's a saint now." "Yes I know Morgan I just wish this world would be a better place" "It will be mom"
This morning as we prayed the rosary in the car as I drove the girls to school Mary interrupted "Mom I'm thinking of that baby." "Me too Mary." We finished the rosary. I looked back over my shoulder to see the faces of my kids. They love their baby. They love that baby. They love ALL babies. I felt proud. I must be doing something right.

Womanhood

There is far too much "loving yourself" and far too little knowing yourself going on today. There are thousands of books that tell us the benefits of self-love - especially for women who are portrayed as the helpless victims of a male dominated world.


"We women must learn to love ourselves." "I am woman, hear me roar." "Empower women!" etc. are modern mantras. But what are we loving? Why are we roaring? What are we doing with this "empowerment"? Those who subscribe to these mantras fail to tell us what the ultimate model of womanhood is, so that we can best exemplify that model in our lives. Why is there no model?


Another modern distortion is to blame for this void. "To each his own" or in this case "her own" We mustn't have a standard defintion of womanhood because standard definitions or requirements are by their very nature oppressive and discriminitory. To lay down a model of womanhood would be seen as stiffling individuality and that is a cardinal sin today.


Yet, the very opposite is true. An entire generation of young women has lost their sense of identity as woman. A basic standard for defining authentic womanhood liberates, uplifts, and inspires creativity and individuality. There is a desperate need today for my generation and the young girls we are attempting to raise, to have a very clear idea of the authentic womanhood to which they are called.



Baby boomer mothers seeking to protect their own daughters from the hurts they experienced chose to blame womanhood itself for their suffering. Any abuse or injustice or oppression was the result of living out an old model of womanhood. They would not pass that on to their own daughters - and here we are today. We have no idea who we are, what our purpose is in life, and we're floundering.



Womanhood got left behind in the rubble of the 60's and 70's. The failure of men to honor and appreciate the beauty of woman, and the failure of women to persevere despite this, has left us with the false notion that happiness for women can be found by seeking power, authority, and control. Essentially we've abandoned womanhood to become instead, men.



Are we happy? No. Use of anti-anxiety and anti-depressant drugs are at an all time high among women. Divorce, single motherhood, and out-of-wedlock births are rampant. We drink, eat, and shop to fill the void. We climb social ladders, and corporate ladders to satisfy the internal ache. No, we are far from happy.



We do it all and have it all. We treat the men in our lives as useful idiots. This portrayal is quite common on tv and other media. Women are the self-sufficient pants wearers. Men are sperm donors who should do what their wives want, contribute financially, and please sexually. Children are more a right of passage than a mystery and gift. They're a necessary burden we take on and then desperately wait to be rid of so that we can get back to "really living".



We see our bodies as tools to gain power and at the same time obstacles to power. The sexual, seductive aspects of the female body are used to gain power. The procreative nurturing aspects of the female body are seen as a hinderance and at times a curse.



We relate to men with these two twisted ideas always influencing us. We want to be loved but fail to love. Rather we tempt and seduce and then wonder why love fades away or turns cold. We failed to illicit love from men in the first place. We have an obligation to teach men how to love. We teach them how to desire, but not how to love. When they fail to love us we scream of betrayal and seeth with rage over the failings of the opposite sex. We can't see a failure (our failure) in the beginning is a failure indeed.



All this mess separates us from God. We move futher and further away from authentic womanhood and as a result move further away from God. We feel empty, betrayed and abandoned. We swear we won't let this happen to our daughters. We teach them to reject their womanhood and embrace the modern lies. The pattern continues.



Young girls today have no idea what it means to be a woman. They see their breasts as sexual assets, not miraculous baby feeders. They see their womb as a dangerous necessity to be guarded not out of a sense of honor but fear. They see their cycles as a nuisance, not a reminder of their creative power. They say they love themselves. They say they are in control of their bodies and their lives. Yet they seem so unhappy and they are. There is an emptiness they try to fill with the world and all it offers. That emptiness can only be remedied by living out a life as an auhentic woman. Not a cookie cutter woman. Not an old-fashioned apron wearing woman. We simply need to embrace the gifts we've been given along with the sacrifices that are asked of us - happiness lies there.

Tears of Blood

This is why the Blessed Mother has been seen weeping tears of blood. This why Our Lord's flesh was torn from his body...New Britain men charged in assaults of infant, teenager -- Newsday.com: "Once the process was stopped, authorities said they found icons consistent with child pornography and a video of Brisson sexually assaulting the infant. Police said they also learned that the boy had been sexually assaulted by both suspects.

The suspects knew the parents of the victims, police said. The infant girl was examined at a local hospital and returned to her mother, whom police say was likely unaware of the assaults."

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What I cannot understand is why Our Lord is so PATIENT and MERCIFUL!!! I know that I too am a sinner and that I too am in need of His mercy. He has been very patient with me. But this is the kind of thing that makes me cry out "Lord Jesus Come! - Just Come Already!!"

The sad truth of the matter is this kind of thing is happening all over the world. Most cases are not known. There is so much suffering we cannot even begin to comprehend it! There is torture, starvation, poverty, sickness, slavery, abuse, ugliness, evil, vile vile vile selfishness of the most horrible kinds. But worst of all there are many who have been given His grace, His protection, His love and mercy and they live their lives daily with indifference to the eveils I listed prior.
Indifference - a chosen blindness. Those lukewarm the bible speaks of, are the gatekeepers who swing the door wide open to these abuses. They shut their eyes and say I cannot see it so it does not exist. Off the hook and on to the distractions the world provides...

I sometimes read the Google headlines like this just to see what's going on in the world. I am not posting them here to be morbid or negative. I read crap like this and realize what a loving God we must have to put up with all this garbage. He wants us to change. He wants us to turn to Him. He wants me to pray pray pray and make my little place in this world better, holier, more true. I'm trying...

Why Are They EVER Set Free????

I came across this horrible story while scanning the Google news...Mass. sex offender charged with raping boy at public library - On Deadline - USATODAY.com: "Corey Saunders, 26, spent four years in prison after being convicted in 2001 of raping a child. Upon his release, the Associated Press says prosecutors urged Bristol Superior Court Judge Richard Moses to order him committed indefinitely because of concerns that he posed a continuing threat to local children.
The Boston Herald says three psychologists agreed, telling the court that Saunders was 'extremely sexually dangerous.'
The judge denied the motion, and Saunders was registered with the state as a Level 3 sex offender -- the highest classification -- when he was charged yesterday with rape and indecent assault."

Why would a person like this only get 4 years in jail to begin with???? Shouldn't the harming of a child, specifically in a sexual or violent way be automatic LIFE in Prison!!!! What's wrong with this world?? I pray for that little sweetie and his family. Yet I also ask how could he get so out of his mom's sight that he was taken off somewhere and raped without her knowing he went astray for a while????? This kind of story just makes me realize how diligent I must be at keeping my kiddos near me when I'm out and about!!

I've Been Tagged

Cosmos-Liturgy-Sex: "So who do we meme? Jackie, Tara, Dim, Kris, and of course, Jeff (Our apologies if any of y’all have already been tagged and/or don’t cotton to the meme thing)."

I found this one interesting since I love to recommend books and quote from them...although it's difficult to hold the attention of my most available targets - a sports minded hubby and five kiddos all under the age of 11.

1. Pick up the nearest book (at least 123 pages)
2.open book to page 123
3.find the fifth sentence
4.post the next three sentences
5.tag five people

The real problem is how to make humans realize the sacredness of love-how to induce mothers to see a Messiah-ship in the begetting of children. The best way to achieve this would surely be to bring forward the example of a woman who would accept the responsibilities of love without the prepayment of pleasure-one would say: "I will do it all for nothing! I will accept the bearing of a child, the responsibility of his education, a share in His world mission," without even asking for the ecstacies of the flesh. Such is the role of the Blessed Mother.

The World's First Love
Fulton J. Sheen



www.ryanmillerfam.blogspot.com
www.mikeandkristine.blogspot.com
www.tolovemercy.blogspot.com
www.snoringscholar.blogspot.com

I couldn't come up with a fifth...sorry I look forward to seeing the results!!!

The Twelve Days of a Large Family Christmas

If you want to laugh watch this!!!!

Kids by the Dozen - Must See TV!!!

I recently started watching Kids by the Dozen : TLC Family Guide : TLC: with the kiddos. we also like John and Kate Plus Eight... But this show is more interesting because it focuses on many different large families. All of the families are treated in a very positive light. They all are unique and live their lives very differently yet they all are genuine and LIKEABLE people!! I went to the TLC site and saw that the families have short video snippits on different parenting/family issus. The advice and insight they provide is definitely worth checking out!! Now I only wish the mainstream networks would pick up on the fact that a large rowdy family with strong values and "kids by the dozen" can also make for good entertainment!! I'm so tired of seeing the same old Sex and the City-type crap rehashed over and over again!! - There is SOOOOO much humor potential in the life of a good family with a large crew...
Tune-in to Kids by the Dozen on Mondays at 10/9c beginning October 15."

Recent Photos

The Dictionary Game - Any Takers?

My dad invented this game thirty years ago. Many a night I remember being kept awake by the grown ups laughter as they played this game together. I envied their fun and vowed someday when I was big I'd have lots of grown up friends and I'd play the dictionary game too! Not so.
I would LOVE to play the game. Tim loves it too now that he's officially caught the "nerd bug" from my side of the family. We are a family of Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, and this, dad's game. We want to use our minds and we play for blood!! It's a riot!!
Usually our only time to enjoy this type of "play" is when Kelly and Martin are in town. They are kindred spirits in this respect. I'd really like to indoctrinate-rather invite others to play the dictionary game. Tim always stops me saying "Kris, they're not gonna like that." to which I respond "how do you know - they might like it if they tried it" - Tim continues his pessimism "NO, they're not like us..." Translation: they're not dorky like us...
The game plays like this:
In order for the game to be any fun you've got to have a minimum of 6 players - the more the better!
Everyone is issued uniform notebook paper and pencil.
You must have a very large very extensive dictionary.
One person chooses a word from the dictionary that they do not know and suspect that everyone else does not know the meaning of.
They pronounce that word. Spell it. and give the part of speech.
Everybody writes this down on their paper.
The leader (one who chose the word) writes the definition from the dictionary down on their paper next to the word. They can choose ANY of the given definitions (as there are often more than one) and they may shorten it if it seems lengthy. They may NOT however alter the definition at all.
The others all write down either what they believe may be the definition of the word or make up a definition out of whole cloth as they say. This is where it gets funny (as far as this dork is concerned anyway)
Everyone turns in their definitions face down to the leader.
When all the papers have been turned in the leader "shuffles" the papers to disguise whose is whose.
The leader then very carefully and very seriously must read all the definitions including his or her own (the real one). (this part is hilarious! Trying to keep a straight face while doing this can often be very difficult. It can be especially hard at 2am when you've begun to get slap happy and are high on caffeine and snack foods)
Each person in turn then must choose what he or she believes is the correct (true) definition.
The real definition is revealed.
The ultimate goal of the leader is to choose a word that stumps everyone - no one picks his true definition.
If one or some have chosen the true definition then the leader gains no points!
If the leader stumps everyone then he gets as many points as there are players in the game.
If you choose the RIGHT definition you get a point.
If one or some of the players pick a fake definition then those points go to the author of the fake.
Points are written down under each player's name on a score sheet.
You play a set number of rounds - meaning how many times round the table giving each person a chance to be the leader. One round with a large number of players may take a while.
It's a long game but it's well worth it.
The player with the most points after 3 or 4 rounds (or however many are played) WINS

Tricks to playing well: When choosing a word look for words that don't seem to correspond well with their true definition. Or choose a bizarre word with a very bland or plain definition making others look over your definition because it is so bland.
When writing definitions use your knowledge of language (Latin) if possible. Make your definitions sound "dictionary-like". For goodness sakes make the definitions MATCH the part of speech (some members of my family I won't name names have a hard time with this one)
After playing a while and with the same people you start to see patterns in peoples' thinking. THIS IS THE FUN PART!!! People have an extremely difficult breaking out of their patterns of thinking. There are those who make everything into some king of ethnic pottery "a Peruvian clay pot used for spices" There are those who constantly describe birds "a small yellow Bird part of the finch family" There are those who always say "small..." and those who always say "large..." You need to LISTEN carefully and look for word clues left in the definitions people try to create. This way you can rule out the fakes and shoot for picking the real one.


Well, so that's the dictionary game. I love it. So does Tim. Sure wish we had some fellow dorky couples, a plentiful supply of snacks and wine, and Friday nights or Saturdays would be so much fun! Maybe you all can try this yourself with friends and let me know how it goes.

I Hate Winter!

I hate winter, well winter in Illinois anyway. It is COLD! and gray and ugly outside. The neighborhood is almost dead with its silence and lack of movement. When we see each other outside running to get the mail from our frozen shut boxes we often say "hey! you're home?? we thought you were out of town"
I hate the 5-10 lbs of extra weight I seem to hang onto. Maybe that's due to the kinds of foods we eat in order to warm us up on cold night. As I type this there are brownies baking in the oven. Gotta let the kiddos eat brownies and drink hot cocoa. Mom might have some too of course.
I hate the bigger bulkier clothes and the keeping track of boots and mittens and hats times 5. This "bulk" creates more laundry which is the one thing I hate more than winter. Oh how the laundry multiplies in the winter. I long for the days when wardrobes consist of a swimsuit and beach towel.
I'd so much rather be gardening, growing my veggies, planting flowers, chasing Collin down the sidewalk as he speeds off on his bike. I'd rather be standing in the shallow end of our city pool catching Monica as she leaps off the edge towards me for the hundredth time. I'd rather be sitting at my patio table talking with Tim or Dawn or mom...
I'm counting down the days until spring and ultimately summer - I only hope I don't drown in laundry weighed down by beef roasts and pies all eaten to comfort my winter blues!!

You Live and You Learn

I could relate to this essay from Brian Pessaro. At first my zeal for my Catholic faith and all the TRUTH it provides me with was like a cocktail which made me feel drunk with power!!! I felt so excited and privileged to know the Truth and to finally see the goodness my Church affords me that I perched myself atop that high place and looked at those below with contempt. Life teaches you differently. You begin to see the gift you've been given as an opportunity to SHARE the Truth not HOARD it for yourself!! We are all searching and seeking God, whether we know it or admit to it or not. Some of us are closer some of us are further away but we are all headed in the same direction...The best way to bring other who are far away from the Truth, the Church, God, is to love them and welcome them, with strong witness and good example. This approach needn't make us "squishy" on those "hot topics" like NFP, abortion, or sex, but rather more effective evangelists!! Thanks to Brian for the great article...

The Deadliest Sin, by Brian Pessaro: "We’re all working out our salvation with fear and trembling (Phil. 2:12). My spiritual director has helped me realize that the future of the Catholic Church doesn’t depend on me being its self-appointed bouncer. He’s also taught me to hate my own sins more than I hate the sins of others. Lust may be one of the seven deadly sins, but so is pride and wrath. Woe to me if I stood before God at my judgment thinking He owed me something because I used NFP only to be shown my place in hell because of my lack of humility and meekness."

The Blessings and Sacrifices of a Large Family

Found this great article...


FamilyLife: Articles - The Blessings and Sacrifices of a Large Family: "The major lesson that Barbara and I have learned is to submit ourselves to the Lord and die to our own personal agendas. We had to die to some of our own dreams and desires. However, when I look back on what we’ve had to sacrifice compared to what we’ve experienced, what we gave up was petty and worthless.

I think our culture has its course set on the wrong star. We try to find life in fulfilling our desires, but Jesus said that whoever saves his life will lose it. Whoever loses his life for Christ’s sake will find it. If you die to self you will live. What we have experienced in having six kids is, admittedly, a lot of death to self. But in the process of dying to self, we have found Jesus Christ to be sufficient."

Too Cute

Gloria and Christopher

Brown-Eyed Boy

Christopher has brown eyes. Worldwide brown eyes dominate. But, in our family he's the odd ball! He's my one and only baby with brown eyes. Mary Grace has hazel and she started out for the first year of her life with green (they changed color after that). Chris's are truly brown though. He's now 16 lbs. and pushes up on the floor. He is VERY strong, has big hands, and smiles and gurgles constantly. There is a steady stream of drool hanging from his chin which soaks his shirts right through. He loves to be held and cuddled. And of course he has my family curse (as far as my kiddos go that is) of refusing a bottle no matter how hungry and hating the car seat crying for drives, making his mommy crazy while driving. I always nurse my kiddos but an occasional bottle in an emergency would be nice - not for mine - they look at it like it's a torture device. They outgrow the hating of the car seat by 12 mths or so... Basically my babies let me know that I'm ALL THEIRS and I should have NO PLANS to be without them- EVER- for the first 12 mths of their life!! Tim reminds me of how quickly they grow and change when I start to complain about my little "wart". He's right of course! I should love the "wartiness" of my newest little brown-eyed "wart" and soak it all in as much as possible.

Love and Politics

I love Tim. Tim loves me. Together - we love politics. This is not to say that we agree on everything political 100% of the time. It is true however that we find ourselves joking about, laughing over and enraged by the same things.

Every Sunday like clockwork the coffee maker gets going and the kiddos get going to! "off to the basement or your rooms" The kids know mom and dad are gonna be watching the Sunday morning political shows. We watch and comment during commercial breaks when we get our fill ups on more hot coffee.

I love this about my husband. Truly it is something unique and special that he and I share. It occur ed to me last night as we watched the NH returns from the primary together how much I value this bond we have. As we talked and laughed and joked together, I realized that we speak a language, have our many inside jokes, and finish each other's sentences - thoughts even! To someone on the outside looking in we probably seem really goofy! Tim mockingly finished every other John Edwards sentence with the phrase "down at the mill" in a thick southern twang (which I laughed at EVERY time) I said to him "you know if you said 'down at the mill' to anyone else they wouldn't know what the heck you were talking about or else if they did they wouldn't know why it was funny?" But it's funny to us. Us. Tim and Kris. I like that. We are such a team and we really do "get" one another. This always seems most clear when it comes to politics. I started to rant and cut myself off saying "I need to get to confession" to which Tim responded "It's an election year Kris, we're gonna need a priest to live here in the family room and hear our confessions nightly!" We laughed...we're Catholic political junkie dorks - and we love each other for it!

What Makes A Good Mother

False Compassion - Road to Hell Is Paved With It

Bishop Fulton Sheen on Temptation

Bishop Sheen on Lonliness

I LOVE This Man!!!

I pray daily to Bishop Sheen. I listen to him on Relevant Radio at 9am daily too. Each day I marvel at him and love him more...

Men and Women

How Women Speak Part 1 of 3 - This is Alison Armsttrong. She has set out to study men and to pin down why and how the sexes are different. This is so essential I believe and I am only recently "getting" just how truly different we are. Her "research" dovetails very well with The Theology of the Body from JPII. her web site understandmen.com is very insightful...
I learned of Alison from Dennis Prager's show and I must say again how much I miss hearing his daily show - that darn 560am for moving his show!!!

marriage 'unnecessary'

I found this article linked from lifesite.net and couldn't agree more with the conclusion drawn by McManus. There is a real problem in our culture with a negative attitude about mariage. This negative attitude can be found both in single people and in those who are married too! Sure there are a lot of reasons people have for their belief that marriage is "unnecessary" but I believe some of that has to do with the failure of our church (little 'c' not big 'c') to emphasize the true value and meaning of marriage. Once the vows have been taken is not the time to start growing in one's understanding of the matter either! We need to be teaching our young people WELL in ADVANCE about the differences between the sexes, the NEED we have for one another, and the absolute NEED we have for marriage!

44 percent find marriage 'unnecessary' (OneNewsNow.com):

"McManus believes the church shares some of the blame for this trend. 'Churches really aren't very 'marriage-minded' -- they're 'wedding-minded.' They are equipped to be able to help couples have weddings, but they really don't know how to build marriages,' he argues. 'The problem is the pastors are picking safe subjects, and they're avoiding the subjects that could help us learn how to build relationships that can go the distance.'
The pro-marriage advocate expects similar survey results in the future if churches do not do a better job promoting the benefits of marriage and exposing the pitfalls of cohabitation."

From This to That (x5) to This Again - Is It Possible?

I need to get in shape. I must have said that a million times by now. In college I ran daily and lifted weights regularly. Somehow I was able to stay thin regardless of my binge drinking. Most likely it's because I was in my 20's and I smoked instead of eating too.
Now13 years later and five kids later I am a much healthier, happier person, but also a much softer plumper person too! Ripped abs? What's that? Perky breasts? Ya right agter nursing 5 - I don't thinks so!
Long runs and hours at the gym are impossible now. I'm lucky if I can get through 20 minutes on the tread mill in the good ol' basement without some little person saying "Mommy, I need ______ or can you _____ right now?"
Do you kids understand the concept of "leave me alone?" NOOOOOOO!! they don't. Gone are the days when I my only concern was how little my bikini could be to minimize tan lines. God forbid I have tan lines! Now just the thought of a bikini sends me into a cold sweat!!! I even gag a little just thinking of it.
It's not that I'm out right repulsive but I sure as heck am a far cry from the girl in the 1st and 3rd pictures.
I don't need to be her anymore either but I would love to have the private alone time in my life to work out and feel good again.
I don't know how I'll achieve that as of yet but that's my resolution for 2008. I will try to MAKE the time to make me feel good again - maybe not bikini good but at least shorts and tank top good!!! I've got 4 mths...

Morgan's Bowling Party

Morgan's birthday is December 27th. We have cake together as a family on the day of but anything planned with friends comes later. Morgan had wanted a fancy dinner party very elegant and formal but I KNOW that what she imagined in her dreams could not be made a reality and so I talked her into going bowling instead. That's a radical departure from a formal dinner in fine apparel eh? No dresses and flowers just borrowed shoes and lots of hand sanitizer! Actually everyone had a great time. I love bowling myself but I decided to just watch the girls and opt out this time. Once again I sure wished Kelly and the kids could be here with us - it really stinks to have only one sister and have her live across the Atlantic!

Christmas Morning

"It's Christmas!, It's Christmas!" the children shout gleefully. "shhhhhhhhh....yes yes we know" Tim and I say in return with about as much enthusiasm as Ben Stein. "Be quiet and get back in your rooms and don't come out until I come and get you ok?" It's 6am and that means I've gotten all of about 5 hours of sleep. But I won't make the same mistake we made last year. We told the kids to go back to their rooms and give us 10 minutes to get up and get ready. We drifted off back to sleep and awoke to the sounds of joyful yelling and high five-ing coming from downstairs. By the time we got halfway down the stairs the kids were racing towards us with UNWRAPPED gifts in hand saying "look what I got!, look what I got!" AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Of course we KNEW what they got! But what we live for, what makes it all worth it is that momentary split-second look they have when they unwrap and see their wished for gift for the first time!!!! And.......we missed it!! BRATS all of them! Morgan was the ring leader last year and so this year I kept special care not to let her escape from her room. I threw on some pants and shook Tim's shoulder. "Get up get up remember last year?!" "You kids stay right where you are, hold your hands high where I can see them. Don't make a move." Mom and dad had spent the night and so we had to wait for them to get ready as well. I make a big deal about being prepared to see the unveiling of the gifts because there are literally only 4 gifts to "unveil" Each child only gets 1 gift each and so there's no long drawn out process of unwrap-squeal with glee-show off-on to the next one- repeat, repeat, repeat... We let Monica go first - a baby crib and baby stroller (ok so I bent the one gift rule for her but they came together...) Then Collin - 2 guns (again, they went together kind of...) Then Mary Grace - her own camera. Then Morgan - a guitar. It lasted all of five minutes. There aren't any presents for Tim and I. None for mom and dad either. That's it - that's all folks!! But you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. The materialism and consumerism of this culture are corrupting kids. It's a sickness almost. Our kids have PLENTY and going overboard just makes them self-centered and shallow. Hopefully they'll look back on their Christmas 's and remember the fun we had together and the great breakfasts we ate and how much we laughed together and not feel like we begrudged them the "stuff" they might have wanted.

Christmas Eve

"Back in the day" we used to do the very traditional Italian Christmas Eve...lots of pasta, lots of fish/seafood, and lots of Italians gathered together to eat, argue and criticize one another with much love and affection of course! But, as time passes families gow and then they branch out on their own splitting off from the original group it seems. Today everybody goes their own way and the parties are smaller, more tame, and with a lot less fuss. Tim and I hosted this year. Mostly because we have 5 children one of which is just a little bity and we don't like dragging them here, there, and everywhere if we can help it. Tim and I enjoy hosting gatherings like this. Tim's a great cook and I'm not too shabby myself (but it all depends on who you ask). I made mostaciolli cookies and biscotti - very Italian...Uncle Dave, Aunt Linda, mom and dad, brought food too. One of these years I'm gonna try to make Auntie Virginia's home made ravioli from scratch. But I need to get a pasta maker first. (You know the thingy that rolls out the dough to the right thickness ) I really wish Kelly were here to do that sort of thing with. We could banish the kids from the kitchen, put in both leafs for the table, cover it in flour and spend the day making ravioli, drinking wine, and laughing our asses off. (Too bad I can't really laugh my ass off - that'd be a hell of a lot more fun than jogging on the tread mill...)
Speaking of which - I'd better dust it off (again) and start running cause I was a BAD girl this Holiday season and I STILL need to lose the pregnancy weight!!!!!!! Yes, yes, Christopher is only 4 mths. old but I have an irrational fear of being labeled "that fat stay-at-home mom with all those kids!" I'd much rather be known as "that mom of five - can you believe it!!??- she looks great!" I'm about 25 lbs away from THAT commentary... so it looks like salad and jogging are in my future...