Womanhood

There is far too much "loving yourself" and far too little knowing yourself going on today. There are thousands of books that tell us the benefits of self-love - especially for women who are portrayed as the helpless victims of a male dominated world.


"We women must learn to love ourselves." "I am woman, hear me roar." "Empower women!" etc. are modern mantras. But what are we loving? Why are we roaring? What are we doing with this "empowerment"? Those who subscribe to these mantras fail to tell us what the ultimate model of womanhood is, so that we can best exemplify that model in our lives. Why is there no model?


Another modern distortion is to blame for this void. "To each his own" or in this case "her own" We mustn't have a standard defintion of womanhood because standard definitions or requirements are by their very nature oppressive and discriminitory. To lay down a model of womanhood would be seen as stiffling individuality and that is a cardinal sin today.


Yet, the very opposite is true. An entire generation of young women has lost their sense of identity as woman. A basic standard for defining authentic womanhood liberates, uplifts, and inspires creativity and individuality. There is a desperate need today for my generation and the young girls we are attempting to raise, to have a very clear idea of the authentic womanhood to which they are called.



Baby boomer mothers seeking to protect their own daughters from the hurts they experienced chose to blame womanhood itself for their suffering. Any abuse or injustice or oppression was the result of living out an old model of womanhood. They would not pass that on to their own daughters - and here we are today. We have no idea who we are, what our purpose is in life, and we're floundering.



Womanhood got left behind in the rubble of the 60's and 70's. The failure of men to honor and appreciate the beauty of woman, and the failure of women to persevere despite this, has left us with the false notion that happiness for women can be found by seeking power, authority, and control. Essentially we've abandoned womanhood to become instead, men.



Are we happy? No. Use of anti-anxiety and anti-depressant drugs are at an all time high among women. Divorce, single motherhood, and out-of-wedlock births are rampant. We drink, eat, and shop to fill the void. We climb social ladders, and corporate ladders to satisfy the internal ache. No, we are far from happy.



We do it all and have it all. We treat the men in our lives as useful idiots. This portrayal is quite common on tv and other media. Women are the self-sufficient pants wearers. Men are sperm donors who should do what their wives want, contribute financially, and please sexually. Children are more a right of passage than a mystery and gift. They're a necessary burden we take on and then desperately wait to be rid of so that we can get back to "really living".



We see our bodies as tools to gain power and at the same time obstacles to power. The sexual, seductive aspects of the female body are used to gain power. The procreative nurturing aspects of the female body are seen as a hinderance and at times a curse.



We relate to men with these two twisted ideas always influencing us. We want to be loved but fail to love. Rather we tempt and seduce and then wonder why love fades away or turns cold. We failed to illicit love from men in the first place. We have an obligation to teach men how to love. We teach them how to desire, but not how to love. When they fail to love us we scream of betrayal and seeth with rage over the failings of the opposite sex. We can't see a failure (our failure) in the beginning is a failure indeed.



All this mess separates us from God. We move futher and further away from authentic womanhood and as a result move further away from God. We feel empty, betrayed and abandoned. We swear we won't let this happen to our daughters. We teach them to reject their womanhood and embrace the modern lies. The pattern continues.



Young girls today have no idea what it means to be a woman. They see their breasts as sexual assets, not miraculous baby feeders. They see their womb as a dangerous necessity to be guarded not out of a sense of honor but fear. They see their cycles as a nuisance, not a reminder of their creative power. They say they love themselves. They say they are in control of their bodies and their lives. Yet they seem so unhappy and they are. There is an emptiness they try to fill with the world and all it offers. That emptiness can only be remedied by living out a life as an auhentic woman. Not a cookie cutter woman. Not an old-fashioned apron wearing woman. We simply need to embrace the gifts we've been given along with the sacrifices that are asked of us - happiness lies there.