Baby Boomers - They'll Have a Lot to Answer For...

Free love: Was there a price to pay? : "Baby boomers are chucking down Viagra and sticking on hormone patches so they can still enjoy sex, Coleman says. And their children — in some cases, their grandchildren — are dirty dancing in school gyms, making pornography as a statement of feminist power, using condoms at increasing rates and most of all, talking about sex in ways that were virtually impossible before the 1960s. "

Well, hip hip hooray! Aren't we proud? What an achievement. What a legacy left behind by the "revolutionaries" of the 1960's. It seems we still are insisting on looking at this mess we've made and calling it a great "success". Where is the success? How have we benefitted, what have we gained from this social experiment? I can't find one single solitary upside to the "free love" concept or the subsequent ripples it sent out to the larger culture and to future generations.

Why do women insist on seeing sex as a weapon to be turned against men for their own defense and self-preservation? The men who used their strength and authority to pursue women as sex objects are not threatened by a woman with "sexual power". They are relieved to not have to work so hard at it any longer! "Taking control" of your body and your sexuality, and your fertility, does not entitle a woman to act like the worst of men behaving badly. Rather, it should mean recommitting oneself to the virtues which sought to protect the dignity and honor of women.

What are these virtues? Modesty, chastity, humility, femininity, and an inclination towards children and mothering. Oh how old-fashioned! How naive! How unsophisticated! I can see the feminists and the young modern 20-somethings all roll their eyes at once. But the truth is that they kid themselves into thinking they are liberated women. Truly, they are enslaved more than ever before. The amount of self-delusion and denial and blindness, numbness required of them to eat this crap and then tell us all how delicious it tastes is staggering. For them it must be exhausting as well.

How much longer will they go on pretending it doesn't hurt? How many more generations of girls will be raised to believe that their bodies are to be used as weapons or as bargaining chips for power and control? How many more women will miss the joy, the privilege of being a woman because they have avoided motherhood in all its forms - biological, emotional and spiritual? They go through life saying "I am woman. Hear me roar." But all the while they speak without a woman's voice and act without a woman's heart, trying in vain to mimic men - something they can never be.

If we want our men and our young boys to grow up to be men who love, adore, respect, and appreciate women for their unique and special abilities and gifts then we must lift up our brothers by making them rise to the occassion. If we deny our own roles and reject the very virtues which elevate us we do not liberate ourselves. A woman who acts like a man will be treated not as his equal but rather as his competitor, his rival. Men are all about beatingout the competition you know. Women are they great collaborators, the ones who cooperate in all things. A woman who denies her own womanhood and then calls it "power" puts herself at the greatest disadvantage possible. She becomes not a wolf in sheep's clothing but a sheep in wolf's clothing. She goes out among many wolves who'll sniff her out in a second!

Choice - One Adoption Story

'I Received Grace' MSN Lifestyle : "That anticipation of judgment, pity, and being shunned as an 'outsider' in my own church drew me toward an abortion. I did not anticipate grace from people.
But at the same time, that very same faith drew me away from the abortion. I knew of God's great affection for children, and His fierce desire to protect them. The Bible repeatedly speaks of how God wants us all to be like children. I knew He would not be thrilled if I decided to abort. I anticipated God's anger, which drew me away from an abortion. I did not anticipate grace from God either.
The fact is that I did receive grace. But I had to take a risk to receive it. "

This article is the second part of a two-part series on MSN Lifestyle. The first part is covered in the following post - Choice - One Abortion Story. Like the other story it is also written by a mother dealing with a pregnancy in difficult circumstances. The mother was raped and this resulted in a pregnancy. She tells her story of pain and fear as well.

Ultimately she chose adoption. Her clarity and thoughtfulness are very helpful. She does an excellent job of separating her fear and pain, from the truth of her unborn daughter's value and worth. This allowed her to take the leap of faith which is required of all of us, when we are faced with the terrible and painful experiences life sometimes presents us with.

God's grace and mercy are far greater than any problem we must deal with or overcome. His love for us will prevail. Our willingness to rely on the power of that love will be the true test, the true choice we must make. We either rely on His love to heal and choose life, or we deny the power of that love and choose death because we no longer allow ouselves to hope - we despair.

For all those women who are hanging on by a a thread of hope - do not despair. Choose life and know that you are loved. Choose life and see the awesome power of love work miracles in your life.

Choice - One Abortion Story

Why I Chose Abortion - MSN Lifestyle : "Real Life: Why I Chose Abortion
The easiest choice I've ever made is also the hardest to live with."

This article is written by a wife and mother who chose to abort her first baby due to fetal abnormalities. The baby was wanted and loved but when it was diagnosed with life threatening deformities (of the spine) he/she was aborted.


I encourage all of you interested in the issue of life and abortion "rights" to read this article in full. I feel that this woman's story typifies what many other women feel in these situations - fear. Fear can often convince us that we are making the most responsible or compassionate choice. Fear can drive the most loving of mothers to doubt her own capcity to deal and cope with a difficult and ultimately doomed pregnancy. But we are stronger than we think.

The little one who was taken from this world violently was not spared the pain of a short and tortured life. Rather this little one (and millions like him or her) are denied the opportunity to live (even if that means for mere moments) in a world that says "welcome - you are wanted here".

I must say...I produce cute "fruit"

With Tim and God's help of course...

Being "Open to Life" - Revisited at the Family Reunion

"I thank God that I've learned the most important lesson about 'being open to life' from a simple woman named Leona - It's WORTH it!" This is a line from a previous post http://kristhinks.blogspot.com/2007/05/being-open-to-life-its-not-always-easy.html , and was again reinforced yesterday for me. Yesterday was a family reunion for us. My mom's side of the family all got together on the same property that most of them were raised/grew up on as children. There was a big turn out. Needless to say there were many aunts, uncles, and cousins (second, third, twice-removed, etc.) there that I didn't even know or remember. I am happy that we went.





It was a shock to my kids' systems to see and be around so many (loud) people! We live so far away from extended family and we generally don't socialize with large groups of people, that for them it was a tad bit overwhelming. As for me? I loved it! I live for a loud crowded party of multi-generational folks all telling stories and laughing loudly. There was much laughter and some tears shed as well. It was difficult and yet also wonderful to see my cousins Mary and Ann there. They are two daughters of my beloved aunt Bonnie. Seeing them just triggered something in me and I shed tears just looking at them...





After a time, and lots and lots of brownies, cake, and cookies, my kiddos had "warmed up" and were runnin' around with the rest of the gang. It brought back good memories for me to see them chasing their cousins around the yard in between stops at the sweets table to "refuel". Uncle Bob and aunt Peg were there and the "Chicago clan" as we like to call them. I always love to see uncle Bob and aunt Peg. They have a special place in my heart. Gloria came too of course (my second mother) as she is family through love not blood. The individual families took turns gathering for pictures in front of gram and gramp's original grape vine (that is now huge I might add!maybe 25 feet long?). Gram sure made a lot of great jelly from those grapes. It was fitting that we should pose there.









He is the vine we are the branches. A family, like a vine, is judged by its fruit. So, there we were, the fruit, lining up in front of this great symbol. Grandma and grandpa planted that vine and now it has grown so large and it continues to bear good fruit. But what shall we do with the gifts we've been given? Will we let the fruit rot on the vine? No. We must allow ourselves to be crushed, pressed, and then offer up the best , the sweetest parts of ourselves for the benefit and service of others. This is the call of every family - to ground itself in the Lord - to grow and bear fruit - for each little one to be pressed and changed. Then to unite these efforts and produce great things for all to enjoy. I pray that each one of us can respond to this call.









We have been so blessed by the size of our family and the Catholic identity we share. We must never fail to see this as a blessing. Then we must go out into the world and share this good news - large families are not a curse or an embarrassing "accident" or a result of the ignorance of simpletons who lack self control (or birth control). They are a blessing and an opportunity to produce great things which benefit this world greatly. We should not be ashamed, but rather proud that we are part of His vine and that we have many many branches that can serve the Lord. We too often take for granted what gram did by dismissing her sacrificies as the work of a saint we ourselves cannot follow or repeat.









She surely is a saint now in heaven but she was just one simple woman who said "yes" to God over and over again. In the end the vine that sprung from Tom and Leona must be seen as God's work not simply their work. Gram MUST have known this and THAT is why she willingly CHOSE to have 13 babies. She lived her life to serve the Lord not Tom. His grumpy often over bearing nature can cloud this truth and make us all miss the higher lesson we must learn from Leona. She may have been submitting to Tom and as a result seemed to be allowing herself to be abused. This is a notion we reject as "modern" people on the grounds of dignity and justice. This is very well true - gram DID deserve to be treated with greater dignity and with far greater fairness. But she must have seen past her crosses and gazed upon her Master - the owner of the vineyard. He gave her the strength and the singular purpose she required to carry on with her work. And so, she produced much fruit and it was sweet fruit she shared with the world. Let us keep our eyes fixed on the Master of the vineyard.









When we are tempted to cut off branches refusing to produce fruit for fear or for self indulgence let us see the error of our ways. Every person at that reunion was wanted by the Lord - the owner of the vineyard. Every person, every child who ran around with joy, every baby in its mother's arms and in the womb is called to be here - to be good fruit forthe world.







This world is STARVING!
So let us bear much fruit and feed this hungry hungry world.

Things Only Dad Can Do

There are some things that only dad can do. For example - throw his own children gleefully into the air allowing them the sheer joy of landing with a giant splash into the pool. "No way mom can do that!" says Collin as he looks at his dad with wonder and adoration. Also, dad actually jumps into the pool and

joins his kids happily where as mom has to ease her way in. Even then (after she's gotten "used to the water") she's never as much fun as dad. Dad plays racing games, and sharks and minnows, and does cannonballs into the pool to make the biggest splash possible! "Wow dad! You're cool!" Need I say more? This is when I love my husband most - when he is doing those things I cannot or will not because my mothering feminine nature is either too weak or just too plain ol' chicken to do so!

Fun at Gram's Pool

Too bad this kind of fun won't be for much longer. The kids (and myself included) are really gonna miss this house and this pool. I don't see a pool in the near future for Tim and I. Don't really have 40 grand just lying around...oh well there's always the sprinkler - bummer!

Safe In the Arms of Big Sis

I am most proud and happiest when I see my children loving and helping one another. It is probably the only time that the word "beaming" actually applies.

Thank you God for giving me these children and by Your grace helping them to love one another as they should. (well, most of the time anyway)

Gone Fishin'

Tim and I and the kids went fishing. The good news? Collin LOVED IT!!! He caught the one and only fish of the day. Tim and I learned quickly that we must find a better fishing spot in the future. But all in all we had fun.
The bad news? Mary Grace HATED IT!!! She didn't like the bait, the worms, the bugs buzzing around, or the fish! I guess she's not gonna be the "outdoorsy" type. There were some tears shed on her part and a lot of "I'm never gonna bring you along again Mary Grace" on her dad's part.
But she survived and she will be forced in the future to go fishing against her will. Our family is a loving monarchy, not a democracy.

Me Me Me Me Me

Tim and I back in college - looking "cheesy"




























Tim and I after a few years of marriage had "learned us good"!




"Me me me me me" is a little tune Tim likes to sing. He sings it like a vocalist warming up before a performance. Can you hear it? Okay, good. Now you must know that he is not trying to impress me with his vocal talents but rather is mocking me and shaming me into an attitude reversal. When I begin to have a royal pity party for myself and begin sentence after sentence with "I" he sings this little tune. It goes something like this:



"I want to go somewhere for a change. I want to get out too and do what I want like the other moms. I want to have more time to myself. I want to come and go for once as I please. I want to be pregnant and nursing free for more than a couple of months in my life..." then Tim will cut off this pity party with a little "Me, me, me, me, me".



We both start laughing and usually I'll hit him in the shoulder and say "Alright, alright - you're right. Just let me vent a little ok?"



We both use this little tune whenever we see one another (or others even), becoming a little more than self-absorbed. It's our little inside joke, and we love it! It is a great way to stop each other from going down that dangerous "me" path and getting back on track to a life devoted to others. You have to be able to catch yourself and laugh at yourself if you ever expect to change for the better.



A while back I wrote a post titled Growing Up or Growing Old?. Where I talk about all the benefits of marrying and having a family YOUNG! These are the kinds of things we've learned and developed together to help one another "grow up" over the past ten years. I know that some people, many people looked at us back then and thought "hell, they'll never make it"but how wrong they were! I truly believe it only BENEFIT TED us to be young, poor, and struggling. It kept us humble and it made us search for answers and dig deep inside to persevere. It made us stronger and we are better for it now. Too many people want to start off married life and family life when life is ideal and all seems so "perfect". Then they say they are "ready" to "settle down". But I feel like today we've replaced being "ready" with being completely self-indulged and spoiled. By that time it's next to impossible to undertake the self-sacrifice and selflessness that marriage and family life demands of you for its success. People get a tune stuck in their head and they just can't shake it. And it goes something like this "Me, me, me, me, me......."

The Quiet Man

This movie was on last week on one of the cable channels. It is one of my favorite movies. I love the kind of man that is the main character, Sean. He is just about the quintessential man for me at least. He is strong without being overbearing. He is honorable and dignified without being pretentious or self-righteous. He is handsome without being overly "groomed" or a "girly-man" as I like to call them "pretty boys". For those of you who have not seen this movie - see it! Rent it from the video store and enjoy.

I actually watched it a second time around with my 2 oldest girls. There is some mature content but it is easily explained and "softened" for the mind of a 9 year old. This is because things are implied and not shown like modern movies which show anything and everything possible. (Even the stuff we'd rather NOT see - yuck!) Anyhow, we all loved it! I talked with the girls about tradition and customs and of honor. We watched how patient Sean was with trying to please his wife who was EXTREMELY stubborn and proud. We had a great time, just us girls, watching this wonderful love story.

One of My Favorite Places To Go

One of my favorite places to go visit is Notes from the Trenches. It is a FANTASTIC blog that NEVER fails at making me laugh. Out loud. Often I speak to my computer screen like I'm speaking to a friend. I really wish I knew this woman. She has a writing style I envy and a sense of humor that is witty a and ALWAYS 100% dead on! Here is a sample of her writing and her attitude which keeps me coming back for more...


She writes...

"Sometimes it is hard to tell if they are well intentioned and poorly written, or asking exactly what they seem to be.
Today this email graced my inbox. I reprint it here in it’s entirety.

Did you always want a large family, or did they just start coming out faster than you knew what you were getting yourself into?
Just Wondering.

I could have emailed back privately, but I thought that other people might want to know the same thing. So here is my response.
Dear Just wondering,
Yes that is exactly what happen. Babies started shooting out of my crotch like ice cubes from a jammed ice cube dispenser, while I screamed, “Make it stop! Make it stop! My uterus runneth over!” "



You MUST stop by her blog and read some of her other entries as well. She is thoughtful and sweet. She has a deep love and devotion for her family. She is a great example of what it means to be a "traditional" Christian mother who manages to keep her individuality and her humor in tact.