Where Have We Been - What Have We Been Up to?

Well, May has been a very hectic month for us. Collin graduated from preschool, Morgan is full steam ahead in softball, school has many things going on - the musical, field trips, May crowing etc., Mary had her first Holy Communion, and just generally we have been busy with yard work, riding bikes, and just plain ol' being outside! Oh and I almost forgot - I have been busy with bible study and also developing a new religious education program and a new TOB (Theology of the Body) program for our parish/school to adopt. I had a meeting with our pastor and then the subsequent Friday I had a meeting with our principal to discuss all my ideas... all this plus the usual butt wiping and laundry washing, folding and putting away (see picture provided = one day's laundry) Then our youth minister asked me to facilitate a 12 week session of TOB over the summer for adults. I love it but I'm also a little nervous about it too...have I bitten off more than I can chew? Maybe but I'm letting the Holy Spirit lead me... Here's some pics - ENJOY!!!

A Bunch of my Favorite Images

A LONG while back Shelray from over at CLS made this compilation of some of my favorite images...I just now figured out how to find it again on youtube and I'd thought I'd post it.

Thanks Shelray!!!

Love Is Asparagus

You may say Huh? But it's true. Love is asparagus. I opened the fridge and found a bunch. A pretty bunch of flowers picked just for me. Everybody hates them - especially Tim. I'm the one and only around here who loves to eat them. So when they end up unexpectedly in my fridge I know how much I'm loved. Love is asparagus. For that matter love is diet Pepsi, yogurt, zucchini, and soy milk too!!! It's so nice to be loved...

Another Flashback Just For Fun

German Progress

I just got this e-mail from Martin...he's updating us on the new addition progress. Here are some pics to go with... Soon He and Kelly will be here with us and having a much deserved and need VACATION from the craziness of 3 children, work, and a home under construction!!!!

Hi everybody,

as announced, we've been a little overwhelmed with the latest stage in our remodeling project, e.g. rearranging the first floor. We've moved all into Tobias' room, and just have a microwave, a hot water boiler and five plates at our disposal.
Me being sick for most of the kids' Easter vacation hasn't helped either, but we are managing. We (I) had hoped that we would be able to move into the new kitchen this weekend, but we have to postpone that.

After the 'deconstruction', e.g. ripping out the old walls, was quite fast, the 'reconstruction' is a lot more tedious than I expected, and most corners and edges still have to be redone next week. Keep your fingers crossed to send you more finished pictures next week!

Enough words. Here is the new entrance, you can see that we ripped out the wall to widen the entry space - well, it will hold our coats and shoes. The space was taken from the (old) living room."

Children of the 70's or What???

Easter Pics

Cutie

Mary Turns 8 Monica 3 (very belated pics from their birthdays)

Calling All Mothers - Embrace Birthing Pains

I have said it before and gotten a lot of complaints about it , but I'll say it again. I believe that it's important to experience labor and birth pains. They should not be avoided or eliminated. Women should try their best to embrace them, learn from them, and ultimately GROW as a result of them. Often women will joke about the pain and say something like "stick the epidural in right from the start or just knock me out and wake me up when it's over etc etc..." But although I can totally relate to the pain and the fear and the despair even that this event can bring about I think we women are really missing something big, HUGE even about the miracle of birth when we "numb" ourselves to it all.

There's a line from a movie (G I Jane) that states "Pain is good. Pain is your friend. It lets you know you're alive." These lines apply so well to us everyday non-GI folks as well. But our culture is so much about avoiding pain, avoiding discomfort, minimizing sacrifice. Frankly, those of us who believe strongly in a God who became man and then suffered and died for us really miss the opportunity we've been given to unite ourselves with Him when we separate pain from birth. Pain goes together with birth, new life, making it all the more beautiful. Can't we see how important the pain is? Why do we limit the beauty by denying ourselves a share in His suffering?

Over at ..perfectly clear..:A second time mom relates her recent birth story. She describes so well the despair the "Oh God why hast Thou forsaken me?" moment all mothers go through in the midst of laboring. She writes: "The hopelessness of being within moments of giving birth is like nothing else. I've been mulling those minutes over in my mind for days now--and that's the best word I can think of to describe them. Hopeless. They're dark, doubtful moments when you no longer trust yourself or anyone else, but are in complete submission to God and to the natural processes he built into mankind. It's really quite a glimpse of a world without redemption. Though somewhere, in the deep recesses of your mind, you know that soon, the pain will be gone. Soon, you'll meet your baby...soon, but not now. Now, you have just endured hours of painful, exhausting contractions. And the baby is still inside. There's no way out or around it, you just have to go through it--but suddenly you don't want to. At least I didn't. I was ready to close up shop. I remember thinking, in the foggy moments between very intense contractions, 'Why can't I just take a nap? Can't I finish this tomorrow?'

It was truly divine that, during these precise moments, our aforementioned friend, Renee, had stopped by to pick up Ambrose until after the birth. I'd had my doubts about laboring without any other womanly presence (my last birth was with a midwife), but figured I'd manage to find a way to get the baby out one way or another. As nice as it was to be with my sweet little family, there's something that starts to ring awfully hollow about the encouragement of your husband during an event so exclusively feminine as birthing."

How beautiful. How true. How I do envy her. My birth experiences have ALWAYS left me with a great sense of being drawn closer to Jesus. In those moments I feel closer to Him than at any other. Also I get a glimpse just a little glimpse of what Divine Love is like for us His creatures. He gives birth to us in pain and agony for love of us. He suffers in order to bring us into new life. We are born of his sacrifice and his pain. As mothers why should we ever choose to run from this great and glorious opportunity. It is a privilege to be a woman. Such an honor has only been given to us - the mothers of the world!!

my kind of kids!!!

this warms my heart. If only this were the reaction of EVERY child upon hearing the news of a new sibling to share life with!!

I Really Want This!

Has anyone ever seen and used this kind of stroller before? I need to get a stroller for this spring and summer etc. It must be convenient but also be helpful with both Christopher (the baby) and Monica ( my 3 year old).One Step Ahead Baby - Sit 'n Stand Elite Stroller and Double Stroller

One of the Many Reasons I love to read Danielle Bean

Danielle Bean: "Confirmed: These children have turned my brains to mush.
Big Boy: I don’t think Raphael should be outside right now — we’re shooting my BB gun.
Me: Wha? I didn’t know he went outside!
Big Boy: Really? Then who buttoned up his coat for him?
Me: I did."

ZENIT - Magdi Allam Recounts His Path to Conversion

ZENIT - Magdi Allam Recounts His Path to Conversion: "Dear Director, you asked me whether I fear for my life, in the awareness that conversion to Christianity will certainly procure for me yet another, and much more grave, death sentence for apostasy. You are perfectly right. I know what I am headed for but I face my destiny with my head held high, standing upright and with the interior solidity of one who has the certainty of his faith. And I will be more so after the courageous and historical gesture of the Pope, who, as soon has he knew of my desire, immediately agreed to personally impart the Christian sacraments of initiation to me. His Holiness has sent an explicit and revolutionary message to a Church that until now has been too prudent in the conversion of Muslims, abstaining from proselytizing in majority Muslim countries and keeping quiet about the reality of converts in Christian countries. Out of fear. The fear of not being able to protect converts in the face of their being condemned to death for apostasy and fear of reprisals against Christians living in Islamic countries. Well, today Benedict XVI, with his witness, tells us that we must overcome fear and not be afraid to affirm the truth of Jesus even with Muslims."

Doing Cartwheels By Page 2

The past couple of days I've seen the mail carrier drive past our mailbox and I get giddy with anticipation. Like an excited schoolgirl getting a prize delivered I run to the box to collect the contents. Why so excited about the mail? Because I've ordered a bunch more Bishop Sheen books. They'd been sitting in my Amazon "cart" for months now and I finally went ahead and pointed and clicked them as purchases...

In any event, I have to laugh at myself at how truly giddy I become when I see that they have been delivered to our mailbox! As I ran back across the street and towards our garage I actually caught myself laughing out loud and grinning so hard that I could feel it in my face. I have already finished the Last Seven Words of Christ - FABULOUS!! Now I'm on to Three to Get Married.

As I read the first 2 paragraphs I began doing internal high fives with the Bishop and shouting "hooray" inside my own mind. By page 2 I was doing cartwheels!!! Here's a sampling (pages 1 and 2)

The Difference Between Love and Sex

Love is primarily in the will, not in the emotions or the glands. The will is like the voice; the emotions are like the echo. The pleasure associated with love, or what is today called "sex" is the frosdting on the cake; its purpose is to make us love the cake, not ignore it. The greatest illusion of lovers is to believe that the intensity of their sexual attraction is the guarantee of the perpetuity of their love. It is because of this failure to distinguish between the glandular and spiritual-or between sex which we have in common with anilmals, and love which we have in common with God-that marriages are so full of deception. What some people love is not a person, but the experience of being in love. The first is replaceable; the second is not. As soon as the glands cease to react with their pristine force, couples whoidentified emotionalism with love claim they no longer love one another. If such is the case they never loved the other person in the first place; they only loved being loved, which is the highest form of egotism. Marriage founded on sex passion alone lasts only as long as the animal passion lasts. Within two years the animal attraction for the other may die, and when it does, law comes to its rescue to justify the divorce with meaningless words "incompatibiity", or "mental torture". Animals never have recourse to law courts, because they have no will to love; but man, having reason, feels the need of justifying his irrational behavior when he does wrong.

There are two reasons for the primacy of sex over love in a decadent civilization. One is the decline of reason. As humans give up reason, they resort to their imaginations. That is why motion pictures and picture magazines enjoy such popularity. As thinking fades, unrestrained desires come to the fore. Since physical and erotic desires are among the easiest to dwell upon, because they require no effort and because they are powerfully aided by bodily passions, sex begins to be all-important. It is by no historical accident that an age of anti-intellectualism and irrationalism, such as our own, is also an age of carnal license.

The second factor is egotism. As a belief in Divine Judgement, a future life, heaven and hell, a moral order, is increasingly rejected, the ego becomes more and more firmly enthroned as the source of morality. Each person becomes a judge in his own case. With this increase of selfishness, the demands for self-satisfation become more and more imperious, and the interests of the community and the righjts of others have less and less appeal. All sin is self-centeredness, as love is otherness and relatedness. Sin is the infidelity of man to the image of what he ought to be in his eternal vocation as an adopted son of God: the image God sees in Himself when He contemplates His Word.

There are two extremes to be avoided in discussing married love: one is the refusal to recognize sexual love, the other is the giving of primacy to sexual attraction...

Now go by your own copies and read for yourself...you'll be doing quiet cartwheels as well!!

Not Cut Out for It

Jen over at "Et tu?"writes about "dying to self" and says this:

"I don't know what I used to imagine 'dying to self' would feel like, but I didn't anticipate that there would be real pain involved. (I can just picture lifelong Christians smiling knowingly at that one.) The more I live as a Christian, the more I am struck by how difficult it is. To borrow a phrase from fellow former atheist John C. Wright, I find that Christianity is a very inconvenient religion. To die to yourself as we're called to do -- to live in the moment with calm trust, to let go of your own ego and selfishness, to reject the empty high of sin -- is hard, hard work."


How right she is!! And this got me thinking. Often, simply because just existing and interacting in daily life as the stay at home mom of 5 automatically makes me a "witness" to the faith, I am confronted with those who mistake hard work with natural giftedness. Nothing could be further from the truth!

I am not a "preachy" person. I never make a point of telling others how they should live their lives. BUT I do live my own life LOUDLY. We, my crew and I (and Tim), are a walking talking interactive evangelization whether we like it or not or whether we're up to that challenge. A simple trip to the grocery store or attendance at a party can inflyuence others' attitudes and ideas about family, love, and sacrifice.

This is a good thing I suppose. At times I find it extremely daunting. I am FAR from perfect God knows! My kiddos all have their "pet" sins as well. We're a rag tag bunch but we all are in the spotlight like it or not - our unusual size and our commitment to a counter culture make it so. this kind of pressure can make me crazy. I always feel the need to "represent" well - clean, well-dressed, attractive, smart, and likeable - all MUSTS! My poor kids get lectures about this and I know I tend to go overboard...

The problem I find in all of this is the frequent misunderstanding most have about me and Tim and our crew. Very few know us well. For these folks, there is no problem. The problem arrises with those who know us nominally, or those who some how block out portions of our "witness" and see only a fantasy version of us. How often I've heard the laughable "Kris, you're a saint!" Ha Ha Ha Ha........such foolishness!!....

My canonization is soon followed by a general defensiveness. "I just couldn't do what you do." "I'm not cut out for that kind of life." "You're so much better than me...or more patient... or more whatever..." "You are amazing, Kris." "You just have great kids - mine are brats" "My kids won't sit still at mass...so we can't go like you." "You were raised like that - you're used to doing those things."

The real truth is Tim is a recent convert. I was a fallen away Catholic in college. My kids want to eat chocolate and watch tv 24/7 too. We'd like to have a pontoon boat at our vacation house. We'd like to have free time to pursue personal interests. We lose our tempers, get annoyed by our kids. Cut us and do we not bleed? We were not born with a greater capacity to suffer. We don't have some secretly formula for cultivating virtue. We are not "naturals" - some kind of rare breed with super DNA for a capacity to sacrifice. Guess what folks? It's just good old fashioned hard work. It doesn't happen over night either. It is a long slow process and it happens moment by moment, diaper by diaper, mess by mess.

So for all those who fall short of the vision God has for them because they think they're too weak to carry the crosses that demands I say this: I'm not "cut out for" this either! No one is! But if you want to "be cut out" for something it's gonna require you to bleed a little!!

The Miracle Story I Need to Tell

I gave birth to Christopher here at home in a birthing tub. Tim and my kids were there with me. I had an uneventful pregnancy as far as the baby's health goes. Every appointment was right on target and no concerns. Emotionally it was difficult though. I felt very overwhelmed and I had many worries about my ability to "keep up" with all the demands of motherhood x5. I cried a lot andI prayed a lot, especially near the end of my pregnancy. When the day finally came for me to have my baby I was excited and anxious all at once.

I went into labor and it all seemed amazingly easy for me. I had planned to offer up all my suffering and pain for my special intentions (people I am praying for) and to "hand over" these pains to the Blessed Mother to "use" as she saw fit. I walked around laboring and thinking to myself that these pains weren't strong enough to be very productive. I had no idea that I was as far along as I was. In fact, I kept telling Tim that I didn't need to get into the tub yet. He kept encouraging me "Kris get into the tub and relax - use it." I told him I didn't want to be in there forever and get all pruney thinking I had hours and hours ahead of me...
My doctor was at another birth. That mother had complications. The doctor had to accompany her to the hospital and so he felt I was a healthy/normal mom and baby and I had prior experience (this being #5) and so he sent the nurse-midwife to my home without him. Normally she would assist him at my birth. This time it was just her and infact I had never met her before. I wasn't worried though -things were going well.
Christine(the midwife) arrived and checked me. 9 centimeters and she said to get into the tub because it was "now or never" 9 centimeters???? I couldn't believe it. I remember saying to the Blessed Mother "Mother? why are you helping me so much? I wanted to give you a GREAT gift of all my pain and you're making this so easy for me. Why?" I got into the tub and about 45 minutes later Christopher was born. He was my biggest baby to date and yet he was one of the easiest to deliver. The entire time I was in the tub I was praying. I always pray during labor. That's no different. But this time two people kept coming into my mind again and again. I was NOT trying to focus on them but they kept returning to me in an unusually vivid way. Bishop Sheen and Our Lady of Mount Carmel. I remember seeing both of those images clearly before me. Internally I called out to the and asked them for help. I said inside myself "Our Lady of Mount Carmel! help my baby. " "Our Lady of Mount Carmel! Protect my baby." That was unusual for me. I NEVER use our lady's titles to call her. Normally i just think of, and pray to the "blessed mother". It's more of a general image. This was weird - it was more of a thought coming to me than me conjuring up a thought - if that makes sense.
After Christopher was born, I held him and thanked Our Lady of Mt. Carmel and Bishop Sheen. Tim, Christine and I all took note of his umbilical cord then. We actually exclaimed "wow!" as we looked at it!! It was by far the most amazing cord we'd ever seen. Christine even commented that she'd never seen a more "perfect" cord in all her time delivering babies!! It was thick, perfect in coloring and VERY STRONG!! Christine said it was a "text book" version of what an umbiliocal cord needs to be. What a remarkable "lifeline" my little boy had. Little did we know what we would soon find at the other end of this "lifeline" we were all admiring.
As is typical it was time to deliver the placenta and I thought nothing of it. The doctor or nurse must always check and examine the placenta carefully. (The umbilical cord, attaches from the baby to the placenta.) Christine was doing this as Tim, the kids and I were all focused on little Christopher. As we all were enjoying him, Christine broke in with "you've got to see this!" She was holding up the umbilical cord and she moved her finger down to the spot where it then attached to the placenta. There about 2 or 3 inches from the base of the placenta the beautiful, strong umbilical cord split into two thin scraggly pieces. They were weak "threads" in contrast to the rest of the cord. CHrstine explained how rare this was. I asked what this meant. She explained that the cord should NOT split like that and how VERY fragile this made the cord's attachment to the placenta. Still, not understanding the impact of this I said and so I asked what would have happened had they torn away? He would have died. Christopher would have been inside me, moving around and kicking as babies do and he could have gotten a little foot or hand between these two fragile lines and ripped them. This would have been a deadly, and as I later found out, often occuring accident, resulting in stillbirth. But my little Chris was able to avoid tearing these lines.
The technical explanation follows...The Pregnancy Institute - SILENT RISK chapter 1: "Another variation is called a furcate cord insertion in which the cord does not connect to the placenta but its branching elements do; however, no membranous insertion exists. These malformations account for another 0.5% to 1% of all births and are observed increased in premature labor, premature birth, fetal stillbirth, and neurologic harm.
The risk of cord vessel rupture is increased with an abnormal cord insertion. The difficulty of managing an incident such as cord rupture is great. What makes the mystery even more complicated is the location of the cord insertion in the uterus. If the membranous insertion is over the cervical opening, the risk of tearing and fetal blood loss is great."

So, you see Christopher's life and growth, and birth are the miracle story I've been needing to tell. Our Lady of Mount Carmel thank you!! Bishop Sheen thank you! Every time I kiss Chris's chubby cheeks I am eternally grateful.

Boring February Weekend

We are boring people. We are especially boring people in the winter. This winter has been bitterly cold and very snowy - that makes it even worse. We have hit new lows of couch potato-ness. MAry Grace and I take random pictures of eachother, the kiddos, and the baby to pass the time. She and I snap away then show each other our "work" in between baskets of laundry and loads of dishes. The floor must get swept at least 5 times a day. Vacuum? At least twice a day. NOT becasue we are so clean, but the opposite! Because we are such PIGS! With all this sitting around comes a lot of snacking and with all that snacking come a LOT of CRUMBS!
I look forward to springtime and walks outside. The kids have taken to running around the basement in their white socks in an effort to see who can get them the blackest. I've given up on trying to get them white again...as long as it smells clean looks are a secondary luxury. Tim is in his office working on keeping the IRS off his clients' backs and listening to his Napster saves full blast. Every once in a while the kids and I will peer in through the french doors to his office and catch him singing Kelly Clarkson's "Break Away". We all get a good laugh and then he chases us all back into the kitchen where we discuss what we're gonna eat for lunch ten minutes after breakfast has ended and likewise discuss dinner ten minutes after we've finished lunch...aaah winter - such fun!!!

Tim's Wit

Another Sunday morning spent talking and arguing politics together. Tim is the ultimate idealist. He will hold out his vote for only the BEST candidate. If you don't cut the mustard then he's gonns either vote for some no name without a snowball's chance in... or else he'll abstain from voting all together. I, on the other hand believe there is a need to be more practical about these things. I will "hold my nose" and pull the lever if I have to- as long as the candidate is pro-life...Tim HATES this about me!!!!
I mock his ideqalism and his "conspiracy-theory" tendencies, and he mocks my faith in the system as naive and stupid. Together, this makes for quite a rowdy Sunday morning battle infront of the tv. The tension at times is palpable. He and I were at a stand off during a commercial break. When he broke the tension by making me laugh - he always does that!
How?
Well, it is a well known fact that John McCAin has MANY weird arm movements and that he is constantly making gestures which make him look stiff and robotic. Tim and I have pointed this out to one another in all fun many times before. So, Tim breaks the tension in our standoff by leaning back on the couch, breathing a loud sigh of resignation, and then saying "Okay Kris, I'll vote for John McCain if he can raise his hands over his head." To which my only response was laughter and a simple "Yep, that's why I love you Tim!"
Come to find out, I googled McCain's weird arm situation and sadly found out that it's a result of the severe torture he suffered as a POW...oops! Sorry John - but it was funny at the moment..."guess you just had to be there" as they say