Under Construction

This is Martin and Kelly's home.
As you can see it is under construction/demolition.
Soon it will be able to house all of
us and Kelly Martin will have more space for ALL of their STUFF!!! From what I've seen and what I know of the 2 of them they will be well served by the added SPACE!!

Computer Ding-Bat!

The following 2 posts are me attempting to figure out how to post music to this blog. I'd like to now and again share songs along with their lyrics that really INSPIRE and MOVE me! I am a real believer in the power of music to move people and to touch their hearts in a way that words alone cannot. So many countless times I've been driving down the road listening to a song and I have been moved to tears or to a high place of worship for my God...it can at times freak the kiddos out a little..."mommy? why are you crying?"... "cause God is so good kids. that's all."

Big Daddy Weave - Just The Way I Am

Big Daddy Weave - Just The Way I Am: "Big Daddy Weave - Just The Way I Am
From the album What I Was Made For
Unbelievable, I’m blown away it’s true
By the matchless love that I’ve found in You
Undeniable, the changes in me
I’ve never felt so free

It makes me want to dance
You make me want to dance
When I think about how

Chorus:
You love me, You love me
You love me just the way I am
You love me, You love me
You love me just the way,
Just the way I am (repeat)

Ever patiently accepting me
Lord, You love in spite of everything I do
But oh so faithfully
You’re committed to the process that makes me like You
And I feel like I can dance
Oh You make me want to dance
When I think about how You

Chorus:

Not when I’m good enough
Not when I clean my act up
Not when I cross that line the thousandth time
And become a better man
Your grace is more than enough
To cover all my sins You washed them away
So right here today
You love me just the way I am

Chorus:
Label: Fervent Records"

NapsterLinks

NapsterLinks

Lighthearted Video celebrates the Motu Proprio

this video was forwarded to me by my friend over at www.lesfemmes-thetruth.org

Nearing the End _ The Final Stretch

Well, I am about 8 weeks away from having this baby. My due date is August 26th yet I've reached the point in pregnancy (as I always do) when I am frankly just tired of being pregnant and I'll be glad to hold this little one in my arms instead of feeling his/her toes in my ribs.

Soon Tim and I need to make our final decision on whether or not we (more accurately "I")
will be having a water birth this time 'round.
The last 3 babies have all been born at home.
Morgan was born at a hospital and it was a good experience
but after we found Homefirst Health Services
we switched to home births instead.

Homefirst is a great group of doctors for those of us in the Chicagoland area.
They are prolife, encourage/teach NFP, and do NOT pressure you to vaccinate but rather try to educate parents about the dangers associated with vaccinations.
Homefirst Health Services : "Since1973 the Homefirst physicians under the leadership of Dr. Mayer Eisenstein have delivered over 14,000 babies to families who have decided to have their babies in the safe comfort of their homes.
This has been accomplished with some amazing statistics. Less than 10% c-sections, less than 1% episiotomies, and virtually no need for I.V. fluids or pain medication."

I must admit that the thought of having a "birthing" tub or pool or what ever they call it set up in my bedroom seems a little weird. Yet I suppose it is not a big leap from me laboring on my bedroom floor so what the heck why not? The doctor tells me that it should help with my back pain and the terrible transition pain/discomfort I have...It is supposed to take the "edge" off. We will see.

I am looking forward to having my little teeny tiny (as I like to call them) with me to hold and nurse and gush over. I pray to God that he/she is well, healthy and delivers safely. I also pray that God will allow me to recover properly from this pregnancy and birth. It wasn't the easiest of recoveries last time and it was frankly very traumatic for me. I have (since Monica) been diagnosed with multiple prolapses and I'll leave it at that...no one needs the details. Suffice it to say that I'm no spring chicken anymore - as far as having babies goes - and that I won't be "up and running" like I was say after Morgan or Mary Grace's births.

Pray for me. Pray for my little one not yet born. I am so greatly blessed to be doing this ............... again! And for all of you pains in the butts who just HAVE to ask - No! I am not done yet! Like Tim always says in response - We are just gonna have to keep having them until you and everybody else stops asking us that question.

The Concert - 2 shows for the price of one

We went with Dawn and Don and Don's friend Paul and his 16 year old son to a concert on Saturday. Foreigner, Styx, and Def Leopard were the line up. I will try to keep this short. We got more than we bargained for as far as a "show". The bands all performed well with Def Leopard being by far the best of the night. But it was those people seated around us that seemed to want to be the stars of the show for the night.

Originally we had three long haired young men (boys really) sitting in front of us. All wearing jeans and concert t-shirts with the location listings on the back...typical stuff. They cursed and talked like rock concert going teenaged boys do I suppose. No Problem. For goodness sakes I knew where we were it wasn't an Andrea Bocelli concert! It seems though that these boys were just "floaters". They were floating from empty seats to more empty seats without tickets for them. When the actual ticket holders arrived (late) they would have to move. This is exactly what happened. And boy oh boy what replaced them was worse than anything any of us could have imagined.

4 married couples. All in their mid to late 40's. Wives all with enormous rocks on their well-manicured hands. Husband all with expensive watches. Yuppies! Rich, middle aged couples trying to relive/rekindle their youths? Now, don't get me wrong Tim and I and Don and Dawn we are no "spring chickens" ourselves. But we act like it. Meaning? We don't act like a bunch of hormonal teenagers on crack!

There was LOTS of drinking (of course) You know the kind. The I can barely stand up, I may puke on you at any moment kind. There was touching, groping, suck your face off tongue down throat kissing. There was wife on wife fondling which was encouraged and "high-fived" by the enthusiastic husbands like a bunch of high school jocks "high fiving" a great pass or catch at a football game. There was even wife swapping. The women would go from husband to husband doing X, Y, and Z. That was just one row of losers.

Directly in front of us was a young woman who obviously did not receive enough attention from her father growing up. She was doing everything just short of having a pole to swing around to gain the attention of her boyfriend/date. He was obviously embarrassed and Dawn and I felt sorry for him. Then there were the married couple next to them. A very unattractive larger man with an extremely tall thin woman with long flowing red hair. She had braces (although in her 30's?) and 2 very very "generous" implants covered by a very very skimpy top. Now appearances are not near as meaningful as behavior. Let's just say that this couple came from the same "Loserville" club as the other couples 1 row up...

Tim, Don and Paul did a mighty fine job of blocking them out. They tried to keep their eyes fixed on the stage. By the way we had GREAT seats. This is the worst part of it all. They are in fact the best seats We've ever had. Center and a stone's throw from the stage! But alas, for a woman who's 5'2" and only wearing flip flops, there wasn't much hope for me to avoid the side-show(freak show). I closed my eyes a lot and tried to just listen to the music...

Lessons learned?

I am GRATEFUL so eternally GRATEFUL for my husband!!!!!!!!!!! To have a man stand beside you who acts like a MAN is not to be undervalued. Also, I am grateful that those insecurities which lead women to act like that are part of my past ( I suffered similarly in my 18-21 years). I also learned that it is possible to pray ANYWHERE! I tried my best to turn my disgust into prayer for those involved... Lastly, I came away from the night understanding that when one "falls in love" with Jesus - passionately in love - that there is no longer any need to prove yourself or put yourself on display. The greatest passion, the greatest lover you'll ever have is our Lord Jesus. With this deepest of needs met, one can go on in life and marry their best friend, have five children, all conceived with great joy and delight, and then go out and enjoy an evening without putting one's sexuality on display for all the world to see. I really do "have it all" and Jesus is the man who finally gave that to me!! Thanks be to Him! He has been so good to His little one...

There's No Place Like Home

Mom and Dad came over to babysit so that Tim and I could go out with our friends to a concert (more on that later). They came early enough that we had time to just hang out before heading out for the night. Typically I am the designated photographer in the family. This means that I am absolutely NEVER in any pictures!! Well, I decided that enough was enough. I handed the camera to the official backup photographer- Mary Grace. Notice it's not Tim.

So these are pics of us just hanging out at home before the concert. These are moments I love the most. Sitting on the couch with the kids all scrambling to "sit next to mom" and more than likely that means "on top of mom". Making cookies with grandma. Grandma is famous for making cookies and brownies for no occasion at all and doing it regularly. Grandpa is throwing someone into the air or putting someone on top of the refridgerator and then saying to the rest of us "Look everybody at how big (fill in blank)_______ is!" We all turn and look and say "Wow, you're up high!" and the child giggles with delight. Tim and mom talk politics or religion and argue/tease one another. Tim loves to get mom going saying something he KNOWS will trigger the most dramatic response and then he snickers to himself being pleased with the resulting agitation he's caused.

Someone is always hungry or always needing to be cleaned up, pig tails straightened, or diaper changed. There is constant noise and activity. Just the way I like it! (Although I DO ENJOY some quiet time to read as well) But on days like this one I try to absorb these little people and take in all their JOY and all their LOVE because these are the greatest gifts they give me. They treat Tim and I and their grandparents like the "rock stars" we were about to go see. They idolize us and hang on our every word. (unless we are saying something about cleaning their room that is) But these little people make home the best place to be. It really is true Dorothy, there's no place like home.

Guilt Works (with a lot of nagging)

These are some pictures that my brother-in-law, Martin took of his kiddos at the Ship Museum. I've been harassing he and my sister for a long time now to send me more pictures of my nieces and nephew. I'm glad to see all my nagging and guilt (laid on especially thick) has worked.



I only have one sister and it is horribly difficult to go without her, being that she lives across the Atlantic Ocean and that neither of us are millionaires. All that leaves us with are phone conversations which consist of 2 minutes of talk sandwiched between ongoing battles between siblings, juice spills, and intermittant crying for no apparent reason at all. They go something like this: "Kelly, what I think you should do is....hey stop that get down from there...what should I do?...you should really...Tobias you are not getting any chocolate today that's it!...Kelly?...yes Kris?...Collin and Mary stop fighting!...Oh my God, oh no Kris can I call you back?...Sure Kel. Talk to you later..."

Kelly will call back to tell me that an entire carton of milk was just poured out onto her newly cleaned floor and I'll tell her that that's nothing cause I have maple syrup covering every spindle of every single one of my kitchen chairs. We laugh and we feel better. That's what sisters are for you know to laugh at and with one another and also to complain about how looney their parents are becoming in their old age too of course! Love you Kel!

Long Awaited Photos From Germany

Well, here are the long awaited photos from our favorite Germans - Martin, Kelly (not really a German but an American living in Germany), Sarah, Toby, and Miriam.

Their house has had these scaffolding up for 2 weeks now but no work has been done as of yet. Bad weather has prevented work from beginning. Can you say "stressed out"? That's how Kelly is feeling right now...

You see we ( all 7 of us plus mom and dad) plan on visiting Germany next year! In order to house her little sister and her whole crew my poor sister and brother-in-law must build an addition to their home!

Just kidding. They planned on the addition regardless of our coming. But, it will come in mighty handy so that we won't have to sleep standing up or anything...

Hope that the next 2 weeks go better than the last 2! Love you Kelly and Martin. We miss you terribly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love - Your (less than European educated) American relatives - (inside joke between me and Martin)

Night Club? Pajama Party? No! Mass of Course!

I'm late to the game on this one, but I couldn't resist posting it. We all had such high hopes (members of the Diocese of Joliet) that after Bishop Imesh left things would get "cleaned up" around here. Sadly, Bishop Sartain must either be too busy cleaning up all the lawsuits and such left over or worse yet not take an interest in the "dancing" that's going on in his cathedral (St. Raymond's in Joliet).

These three young ladies dressed like this danced at Mass at the cathedral recently. The full story and more pictures can be found at
http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/abbott/070619

This is the sort of nonsense that made Tim and I finally take the leap of faith to homeschool our kids. We had dealt with the Diocese of Joliet and its "policies" and its "leaders" and learned the hard way that the teachings of the Church don't hold much value with the people in positions of power there. They'd rather "do their own thing" and it seems that they are continuing to do that...doin' it right up on the altar at Mass...

Pray for our Bishop, and this Diocese. We need it!

Things I Never Learned in Catholic School

I was over at Cosmos Liturgy Sex reading one of David's posts on B16's discussion on modernity with a bunch of European professors. David's post always challenge me. Often they require me to pull out the dictionary or to go off and Google something in order to better understand the context in which he is speaking. But I love that! It is in those moments I feel like I am truly learning and that's exciting for me. Yes, yes I'm a big giant NERD!

Anyhoo, The post was titled Regnum Hominis and the Crisis of Modernity. At the end of the post David expresses his hope that there is still an opportunity for Europe to avoid the mistakes of the past. He says "...this may avoid a 21st century resurrection of the 18th century's Reign of Terror. Mercifully, that malignant progenitor of what I think is now possible was confined to France. However, the current trajectory seems to suggest a spawn, secular humanist Regnum hominis, that will endanger the entirety of the West."

Lots of five dollar words in that right? So off I went to look them up. Specifically the reference to the 18th century Reign of Terror. I ended up reading Wikipedia's whole page on the French Revolution and the surrounding circumstances. What an education and just think it took place in a matter of minutes! A portion of what I learned follows...

French Revolution - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "The Civil Constitution of the Clergy, passed on 12 July 1790 (although not signed by the King until 26 December 1790), turned the remaining clergy into employees of the State and required that they take an oath of loyalty to the constitution. The Civil Constitution of the Clergy also made the Catholic church an arm of the secular state.
In response to this legislation, the archbishop of Aix and the bishop of Clermont led a walkout of clergy from the National Constituent Assembly. The pope never accepted the new arrangement, and it led to a schism between those clergy who swore the required oath and accepted the new arrangement ('jurors' or 'constitutional clergy') and the 'non-jurors' or 'refractory priests' who refused to do so. The ensuing years saw violent repression of the clergy, including the imprisonment and massacre of priests throughout France."

This leads me to my larger point. Why in God's name did I not learn this in 12 years of Catholic education? Now some who know me well may say "Kris, maybe that's because you weren't such a great student." (unmotivated better put) But to say I just forgot this information could only be true if it weren't for the fact that all these years I've had a vague recollection of learning about the French Revolution. I did in fact remember learning about it. But, it seems I learned the wrong things, or at the very least not the COMPLETE story.

Why is it that I came away with a general understanding that made me think that the French were the twin of the American Patriots fighting the English for freedom? Why is it that I NEVER knew or would have even considered persecution of the Church and of priests and religious a possibility during the French Revolution? I didn't even know that there was an atheistic component to it all. Aren't these valuable and important points to emphasize especially considering that I was supposedly receiving a "Catholic" education. A VERY expensive education I may add.

Sadly, I feel like there are a lot of very important and foundational truths and information and literature that are either glossed over or completely omitted from a "Catholic" education these days. In all my time in Catholic High School I never once read the life of a saint, nor Chesterton, nor and encyclical, nor Belloc, nor, Flannery O'Conner, nor any other Catholic writer of fiction or non-fiction. Why is that? I was even in elevated English courses and took extra literature and creative writing courses, because that was my stronger area of study. But still, we never covered these writers or any of the important philosophical writings of the Church. No Saint Thomas, no Saint Augustine, nothing. What an absolute failure on the part of the Dominicans who ran our school. I sure did and still do love them for a number of other reasons. But I feel so cheated looking back now.

These are the times when I say thank goodness I home school. I can "brainwash" my kids properly. Not to mention all the benefits I reap from reading and discovering all these things on behalf of my children. Tim wants to send the kids off to school for high school. Mainly due to organized sports. I can see his point there. Organized sports meant a great deal to both of us growing up. But I hate to think that one day Morgan or Mary grace or another one of my kids will have to be 33 before he or she knows about the Reign of Terror during the French revolution and how it impacted their fellow Catholic brothers and sisters.

Am I Becoming a Closet Traditionalist?

Lately I've been questioning and considering some things within the Church and specifically within the Mass that make me wonder. I tend to long for a more devout Mass. I would LOVE the opportunity to receive Jesus on my knees. I would love to feel a sense of awe and wonder again at Mass. A homily that directed and formed my conscience instead of stroking my ego would be a nice change. Better music, and yet less singing of every single possible prayer. I tend to prefer to SAY the the words of the prayers because I think more about what it is I am actually saying.

I want our Bishops to be STRONG! I want the teachings of the Church to be CLEAR! I want to have processions in the streets again on important feast days. I want to say "I am Catholic" and not feel compelled to explain or joke it away like it is a DEFECT. (I must admit I NEVER actually feel this way but I do know of others who are a little embarrassed to say they're Catholic)

Because these types of things are of interest to me I have had occasions when I've Googled a topic to read more on it. I am led to websites that are right in line with my thinking on these matters but as I read on I find other things that absolutely bother me to say the least. I have found on some traditionalist websites a hatred of JPII, Mother Teresa, and of anyone who accepts Vatican II as legitimate. Now I freely admit that I am young and ignorant of all the ins and outs of Vatican II. I am the product of it being born in 1974. But to ridicule and accuse JPII and Mother Teresa of being heretical is just something I cannot agree with.

I see the main difference between the type of Catholicism that these traditionalist desire and the kind that say JPII and Mother Teresa desired is their focus or emphasis. It seems that some traditionalists focus on the beauty and truth found in tradition, while people like JPII and Mother Teresa focused on the beauty of the individual person and the truth of God's Love.

This does not mean that it must be one or the other but rather we must incorporate BOTH into our faith. The points that many traditionalists make about the mass would only serve the purposes of Vatican II better! If we are to go out and evangelize the world and make the Church "relevant" to a modern age then we must seek to emphasise beauty and truth through tradition and of course this means in the Mass as well. It has only HURT the Church that we have discarded the beautiful traditions of the past and watered down our faith. When people go searching for answers they want CLARITY not gobble-d-gook. When they seek God in all His power and majesty they will only be disappointed by the stark walls of a sterilized church without saints, crucifix, or the smell of incense burning.

Yet we must remember the central focus of people like JPII and Mother Teresa who are criticized for embracing Vatican II and its changes. They are criticized for their ecumenism, being seen as too accepting of other religions and other ideologies. One must look more closely at these 2 saints (I believe) to understand that the love, the embrace they gave and offered to others of differing faiths was not out of a lack of commitment to the TRUTH of the One Holy Catholic Church. Rather, the love shown was out of a sense of increased dedication and commitment to the TRUTH of the dignity and value of every human person made in the image and likeness of God.

We must not hold so tight our traditions and our little truths with closed fists, that we fail to recognize the biggest truth - Jesus Himself - in the faces of others, even those who reject our Church and Her wisdom. This is the great lesson we can learn from JPII and Mother Teresa. For myself, a post Vatican II woman living in a world in desperate need of the Truth - Jesus - I would love to see greater unity among Catholics. We should embrace the beauty and truth and holiness that our traditionalist brothers and sisters offer us. Then we could go out into the world and evangelize with greater zeal and most importantly with greater love.

I can see the sense in many of the things the traditionalists criticize. If we are fed at Mass then it only makes sense that a more fulfilling more "meaty" Mass would serve Christ's soldiers better. Yet, I wonder if they too get hung up on certain things out of a sense of pride or stubbornness. Remember we are on the same side fighting the same enemy. I would only ask that the next time I run into a more "traditional" Catholic mom she does not judge me too harshly. Although I may be wearing my shorts and my Old Navy top and may have attended a N.O. mass last Sunday, and can be caught listening to Van Halen's greatest hits in my suburban with my JPII bumper sticker, I'm not all bad! My good sister, in your ankle length hand sewn floral print dress (In 90degree weather no less) who attended a Latin Mass last Sunday and is listening to Latin classics in your suburban, you are loved! I love you! You are my sister and we're on the same side - The Truth - Jesus' side!

The Problem With Female Eucharistic Ministers (to be more precise - Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion)

Tim and I have yet to attend a church which does NOT have women who act as Eucharistic ministers at communion time. I must say the whole thing is a real mess in my thinking. I was fortunate to attend a Catholic grade school which was devout and leaned heavily on tradition even in the late 70's early 80's, when that may have been out of "fashion". Therefore my earliest memories of the mass and of receiving Holy Communion, are ones surrounded by mystery, holiness, and a sense of awe and wonder. Those times in my life I credit for keeping me bound to my faith and to the Eucharist even when I was seemingly straying far off the path.

Tim, on the other hand is a convert and for him all he has ever known is the watered down, feminized version of the mass. Women are front and center at mass. They seem to be running the "show" and the priest can (if he lets himself be) become a secondary thought, not to mention JESUS Himself becoming a secondary thought! The worst aspect of all this female "participation" is the young women who act as Eucharistic ministers. Actually the whole concept of Eucharistic ministers is odd to me. I don't feel they're really necessary in most cases. What's the point? Must we race through Holy Communion so quickly? What's the big hurry? Often by the time I get back to my pew and kneel down after receiving, the efficiency of all those "helpful" ministers makes it impossible for me to even have 2 minutes before it's time for the "announcements". Wouldn't it be nice to have Father take the time to distribute Jesus to all of his parish family and the allow them some time for reflection and prayer afterwards? Those who "eat and run" will always be in a hurry to leave after receiving. Why not make this time of the mass more solemn for the rest of us? To add salt to this wound we are often confronted with female Eucharistic ministers that make me feel just a tad uncomfortable. I am hesitant to get in line with them but when I am forced to I tell the Lord that I'm offering it up as a little sacrifice just for Him. I always hope that this small act of penance/charity can somehow cancel out my negative thoughts and my judgements. As usual I sin right through mass even! Speaking of near occasions of sin Tim revealed his level of discomfort from having to receive Jesus from some of the female ministers. He and I both have the bad habit of leaving mass and saying to one another "Did you see what that young girl who was our Eucharistic minster was wearing?" We typically say that we are glad she is involved at mass and loves her faith but boy oh boy shouldn't her mom and dad (specifically dad) tell her to cover up a little for church? I'd never realized the degree to which this bothered Tim. I assumed his discomfort was the same as mine. Turns out it's different for guys. It's worse! He very carefully told me how hard it is to stay focused on Jesus when a young pretty Eucharistic minister is holding the host chest high wearing a low cut tank top. I can only imagine the difficulty and the mental restraint required of all the men who go up to receive. This is why I find the old way a far better way to receive Jesus. I may not be a mantilla wearing Vatican II hater but I surely see the wisdom of the communion rail and the kneelers and the priest and the altar servers(boys of course). If the Holy Eucharist is the high point of the mass and the greatest thing (person) we enjoy as Catholics why then do we choose to dispense it like a lollipop handed out after a good appointment at the doctor's office? "Here's one for you and one for you and another one for you...off you go now to love and serve the Lord...see ya'll again real soon ya hear?"

We Miss Our Friends

Sadly, it's been about a year since we've seen our central Illinois friends. The girls' mom just started her own blog and it's nice to see what they've been up to. My hope is that we can get together before this baby decides to come and my life becomes one consumed by changing diapers and nursing, nursing, nursing.