In the Sandbox

A rare photo of Mary Grace and Collin playing TOGETHER without trying to kill one another! Yet you can see by the expression on Mary's face that she's not too thrilled with the experience.

Juicy Fruit..."Line Up!"

Poppy ALWAYS has Juicy Fruit Gum.

His grandkids LOVE this fact.

Poppy says "OK everybody, line up!"

Distribution begins...everybody's happy.

Shining My Halo

** this post has been recently highlighted by use of larger font and color in order to point out my ORIGINAL commentary as a defense for myself...

This past weekend Tim accused me of "shining my halo" to a sickening degree. I must admit there was a little self-flattery and maybe some reaching over shoulder patting of my own back, but NO halo shining!! I have been accused snobbery of the worst kind - holier than thou snobbery! (with a tad bit of intellectual snobbery thrown in as well)

But I protest! Is it so wrong to avoid or dislike contact with others with whom you have nothing in common? Is it so wrong to state these obvious differences and to say that they bother me or cause discomfort? Is it so wrong to say I lack RESPECT for some people and therefore don't particularly want to socialize with them regularly?

Why does this automatically make me a "halo shiner"? In fact, I think it only makes sense that as long as one is kind, friendly,and loving to ALL, that one choose to be with and converse with those who challenge and uplift oneself. I want to be surrounded by people who make me think and grow and who have something to offer me (other than a beer or a Hard Mike's). If this makes me a halo shiner than so be it!

The problem I face with Tim and other as well is that I am often seen as tooting my own horn when I point out these types of differences between myself and let's say another mother who has 2 kids has her hubby "fixed" and then spends her life between shopping, getting her nails done, and recovering from the weekend's hangover. But it is not my own horn that I am tooting. In fact it is the Lord's alone. I am WELL AWARE of my own weaknesses and limitations and that with Jesus I could no none of the things that I do. But when I am faced with the challenge of just grinning and bearing it I often fail. I am NOT one to just "play along" with the social demands of neighborhood living. Rather I choose to separate myself from those I find "beneath" me. These are the types of words that make my husband CRINGE!!!

"Beneath you!!!?" "What a self-righteous halo shiner you are Kristan!!!!" Well, yes. But I do not stand on a pedestal of my own making. I do not look at those "beneath me" with disdain or disgust but rather with loving compassion. Jesus alone is the reason I am a homeschooling mother of soon to be five. Jesus alone is the reason I do not drink until I am wobbly on my feet and brainless. Jesus alone is the reason I do not fear being open to life. Jesus alone is the reason I choose to go to Mass and to pray daily. Jesus alone is the reason I deny myself "stuff" and avoid spoiling myself with salons and spas and the like. Jesus alone is the reason I like to read books which require a dictionary to understand. Jesus alone is why I am who I am and live how I live. All the credit is His!

Those who I avoid or criticize are no weaker, nor more selfish than myself. They simply lack that initial leap of faith required to throw oneself into the arms of God and say to Him "Take me away Lord. I love you. Do with me what You will." For this reason alone they stand "beneath" me. For this reason alone do I roll my eyes when Tim says "Why don't you call so and so or why don't you talk more with so and so? They're so nice..." Yes yes - they're nice! Nice shmice. I just can't bear another conversation about nothing or worse yet another conversation about a boring sex life or how to spend hubby's money without him knowing about it! Blah, blah, blah...

If that makes me a halo shining snob then so be it! I want to live my life for Jesus. If I'm gonna have to bite my tongue and grin and bear it every five minutes in a conversation with somebody than frankly I don't want to be socializing with that somebody very much! Tim thinks this is totally unchristian of me. Is it? I never mistreat or am unkind to these people. I am helpful and friendly as a neighbor should be. What more is required? Must I go the extra mile? The hardest part is that Tim really gets upset by this. I mean it really causes a fight. I can't understand why he can't look at me and say "Ya, I have a great wife. She IS a better woman than so and so and I can understand her lack of enthusiasm to be around ..."

My thinking is that those you socialize with should be able to raise you up to a higher level with their conversation and more importantly by their example. Trust me. The example that is set for me by many of those around me is NOT one Tim would want me to emulate. In fact he'd have a REAL PROBLEM if I started adopting some of the b.s. that these "nice" women pull. I think the crux of it is that I want Tim to recognize me for who I am. I'd like it if he'd put me on a pedestal from to time and pat my back for me and occasionally he'd shine up a little golden halo himself and place it on my head and say "I love you Kris. You are an exceptional woman!"

But alas - I must shine my own halo...

Under Construction

This is Martin and Kelly's home.
As you can see it is under construction/demolition.
Soon it will be able to house all of
us and Kelly Martin will have more space for ALL of their STUFF!!! From what I've seen and what I know of the 2 of them they will be well served by the added SPACE!!

Computer Ding-Bat!

The following 2 posts are me attempting to figure out how to post music to this blog. I'd like to now and again share songs along with their lyrics that really INSPIRE and MOVE me! I am a real believer in the power of music to move people and to touch their hearts in a way that words alone cannot. So many countless times I've been driving down the road listening to a song and I have been moved to tears or to a high place of worship for my God...it can at times freak the kiddos out a little..."mommy? why are you crying?"... "cause God is so good kids. that's all."

Big Daddy Weave - Just The Way I Am

Big Daddy Weave - Just The Way I Am: "Big Daddy Weave - Just The Way I Am
From the album What I Was Made For
Unbelievable, I’m blown away it’s true
By the matchless love that I’ve found in You
Undeniable, the changes in me
I’ve never felt so free

It makes me want to dance
You make me want to dance
When I think about how

Chorus:
You love me, You love me
You love me just the way I am
You love me, You love me
You love me just the way,
Just the way I am (repeat)

Ever patiently accepting me
Lord, You love in spite of everything I do
But oh so faithfully
You’re committed to the process that makes me like You
And I feel like I can dance
Oh You make me want to dance
When I think about how You

Chorus:

Not when I’m good enough
Not when I clean my act up
Not when I cross that line the thousandth time
And become a better man
Your grace is more than enough
To cover all my sins You washed them away
So right here today
You love me just the way I am

Chorus:
Label: Fervent Records"

NapsterLinks

NapsterLinks

Lighthearted Video celebrates the Motu Proprio

this video was forwarded to me by my friend over at www.lesfemmes-thetruth.org

Nearing the End _ The Final Stretch

Well, I am about 8 weeks away from having this baby. My due date is August 26th yet I've reached the point in pregnancy (as I always do) when I am frankly just tired of being pregnant and I'll be glad to hold this little one in my arms instead of feeling his/her toes in my ribs.

Soon Tim and I need to make our final decision on whether or not we (more accurately "I")
will be having a water birth this time 'round.
The last 3 babies have all been born at home.
Morgan was born at a hospital and it was a good experience
but after we found Homefirst Health Services
we switched to home births instead.

Homefirst is a great group of doctors for those of us in the Chicagoland area.
They are prolife, encourage/teach NFP, and do NOT pressure you to vaccinate but rather try to educate parents about the dangers associated with vaccinations.
Homefirst Health Services : "Since1973 the Homefirst physicians under the leadership of Dr. Mayer Eisenstein have delivered over 14,000 babies to families who have decided to have their babies in the safe comfort of their homes.
This has been accomplished with some amazing statistics. Less than 10% c-sections, less than 1% episiotomies, and virtually no need for I.V. fluids or pain medication."

I must admit that the thought of having a "birthing" tub or pool or what ever they call it set up in my bedroom seems a little weird. Yet I suppose it is not a big leap from me laboring on my bedroom floor so what the heck why not? The doctor tells me that it should help with my back pain and the terrible transition pain/discomfort I have...It is supposed to take the "edge" off. We will see.

I am looking forward to having my little teeny tiny (as I like to call them) with me to hold and nurse and gush over. I pray to God that he/she is well, healthy and delivers safely. I also pray that God will allow me to recover properly from this pregnancy and birth. It wasn't the easiest of recoveries last time and it was frankly very traumatic for me. I have (since Monica) been diagnosed with multiple prolapses and I'll leave it at that...no one needs the details. Suffice it to say that I'm no spring chicken anymore - as far as having babies goes - and that I won't be "up and running" like I was say after Morgan or Mary Grace's births.

Pray for me. Pray for my little one not yet born. I am so greatly blessed to be doing this ............... again! And for all of you pains in the butts who just HAVE to ask - No! I am not done yet! Like Tim always says in response - We are just gonna have to keep having them until you and everybody else stops asking us that question.

The Concert - 2 shows for the price of one

We went with Dawn and Don and Don's friend Paul and his 16 year old son to a concert on Saturday. Foreigner, Styx, and Def Leopard were the line up. I will try to keep this short. We got more than we bargained for as far as a "show". The bands all performed well with Def Leopard being by far the best of the night. But it was those people seated around us that seemed to want to be the stars of the show for the night.

Originally we had three long haired young men (boys really) sitting in front of us. All wearing jeans and concert t-shirts with the location listings on the back...typical stuff. They cursed and talked like rock concert going teenaged boys do I suppose. No Problem. For goodness sakes I knew where we were it wasn't an Andrea Bocelli concert! It seems though that these boys were just "floaters". They were floating from empty seats to more empty seats without tickets for them. When the actual ticket holders arrived (late) they would have to move. This is exactly what happened. And boy oh boy what replaced them was worse than anything any of us could have imagined.

4 married couples. All in their mid to late 40's. Wives all with enormous rocks on their well-manicured hands. Husband all with expensive watches. Yuppies! Rich, middle aged couples trying to relive/rekindle their youths? Now, don't get me wrong Tim and I and Don and Dawn we are no "spring chickens" ourselves. But we act like it. Meaning? We don't act like a bunch of hormonal teenagers on crack!

There was LOTS of drinking (of course) You know the kind. The I can barely stand up, I may puke on you at any moment kind. There was touching, groping, suck your face off tongue down throat kissing. There was wife on wife fondling which was encouraged and "high-fived" by the enthusiastic husbands like a bunch of high school jocks "high fiving" a great pass or catch at a football game. There was even wife swapping. The women would go from husband to husband doing X, Y, and Z. That was just one row of losers.

Directly in front of us was a young woman who obviously did not receive enough attention from her father growing up. She was doing everything just short of having a pole to swing around to gain the attention of her boyfriend/date. He was obviously embarrassed and Dawn and I felt sorry for him. Then there were the married couple next to them. A very unattractive larger man with an extremely tall thin woman with long flowing red hair. She had braces (although in her 30's?) and 2 very very "generous" implants covered by a very very skimpy top. Now appearances are not near as meaningful as behavior. Let's just say that this couple came from the same "Loserville" club as the other couples 1 row up...

Tim, Don and Paul did a mighty fine job of blocking them out. They tried to keep their eyes fixed on the stage. By the way we had GREAT seats. This is the worst part of it all. They are in fact the best seats We've ever had. Center and a stone's throw from the stage! But alas, for a woman who's 5'2" and only wearing flip flops, there wasn't much hope for me to avoid the side-show(freak show). I closed my eyes a lot and tried to just listen to the music...

Lessons learned?

I am GRATEFUL so eternally GRATEFUL for my husband!!!!!!!!!!! To have a man stand beside you who acts like a MAN is not to be undervalued. Also, I am grateful that those insecurities which lead women to act like that are part of my past ( I suffered similarly in my 18-21 years). I also learned that it is possible to pray ANYWHERE! I tried my best to turn my disgust into prayer for those involved... Lastly, I came away from the night understanding that when one "falls in love" with Jesus - passionately in love - that there is no longer any need to prove yourself or put yourself on display. The greatest passion, the greatest lover you'll ever have is our Lord Jesus. With this deepest of needs met, one can go on in life and marry their best friend, have five children, all conceived with great joy and delight, and then go out and enjoy an evening without putting one's sexuality on display for all the world to see. I really do "have it all" and Jesus is the man who finally gave that to me!! Thanks be to Him! He has been so good to His little one...

There's No Place Like Home

Mom and Dad came over to babysit so that Tim and I could go out with our friends to a concert (more on that later). They came early enough that we had time to just hang out before heading out for the night. Typically I am the designated photographer in the family. This means that I am absolutely NEVER in any pictures!! Well, I decided that enough was enough. I handed the camera to the official backup photographer- Mary Grace. Notice it's not Tim.

So these are pics of us just hanging out at home before the concert. These are moments I love the most. Sitting on the couch with the kids all scrambling to "sit next to mom" and more than likely that means "on top of mom". Making cookies with grandma. Grandma is famous for making cookies and brownies for no occasion at all and doing it regularly. Grandpa is throwing someone into the air or putting someone on top of the refridgerator and then saying to the rest of us "Look everybody at how big (fill in blank)_______ is!" We all turn and look and say "Wow, you're up high!" and the child giggles with delight. Tim and mom talk politics or religion and argue/tease one another. Tim loves to get mom going saying something he KNOWS will trigger the most dramatic response and then he snickers to himself being pleased with the resulting agitation he's caused.

Someone is always hungry or always needing to be cleaned up, pig tails straightened, or diaper changed. There is constant noise and activity. Just the way I like it! (Although I DO ENJOY some quiet time to read as well) But on days like this one I try to absorb these little people and take in all their JOY and all their LOVE because these are the greatest gifts they give me. They treat Tim and I and their grandparents like the "rock stars" we were about to go see. They idolize us and hang on our every word. (unless we are saying something about cleaning their room that is) But these little people make home the best place to be. It really is true Dorothy, there's no place like home.

Guilt Works (with a lot of nagging)

These are some pictures that my brother-in-law, Martin took of his kiddos at the Ship Museum. I've been harassing he and my sister for a long time now to send me more pictures of my nieces and nephew. I'm glad to see all my nagging and guilt (laid on especially thick) has worked.



I only have one sister and it is horribly difficult to go without her, being that she lives across the Atlantic Ocean and that neither of us are millionaires. All that leaves us with are phone conversations which consist of 2 minutes of talk sandwiched between ongoing battles between siblings, juice spills, and intermittant crying for no apparent reason at all. They go something like this: "Kelly, what I think you should do is....hey stop that get down from there...what should I do?...you should really...Tobias you are not getting any chocolate today that's it!...Kelly?...yes Kris?...Collin and Mary stop fighting!...Oh my God, oh no Kris can I call you back?...Sure Kel. Talk to you later..."

Kelly will call back to tell me that an entire carton of milk was just poured out onto her newly cleaned floor and I'll tell her that that's nothing cause I have maple syrup covering every spindle of every single one of my kitchen chairs. We laugh and we feel better. That's what sisters are for you know to laugh at and with one another and also to complain about how looney their parents are becoming in their old age too of course! Love you Kel!