It seems that young women are annoyed with their prospects - men who behave like boys instead of men. I found two articles on this topic of today's men failing to be REAL men and how they seem to be indefinitely stuck in perpetual adolescence. I found these articles from Dennis Prager's blog and looked over there because I often check his podcas radio show for interesting topics. I miss hearing his radio show daily - he ALWAYS covered interesting and important topics that other talk radio guys fail to cover.
Anyhow the jist of the articles goes like this - men in their 20's and 30's are failing to GROW UP and become real men. They are NOT marrying material and young women are very frustrated with this phenomena. The articles seek to discover the causes of this and they do a good job actually. Of course when I read anything I'm always reading it with a Catholic theological perspective with a definite bent on TOB. So these paragraphs jumped out at me...(SYM=single young males)
Child-Man in the Promised Land by Kay S. Hymowitz, City Journal Winter 2008:
"Like Hornby, Kunkel sees the easy availability of sex as a source of slacker apathy. In a world of serial relationships, SYMs “fail to sublimate their libidinal energies in the way that actually makes men attractive,” Kunkel told a dismayed female interviewer in Salon. With no one to challenge them to deeper connections, they swim across life’s surfaces.
The superficiality, indolence, and passionlessness evoked in Hornby’s and Kunkel’s novels haven’t triggered any kind of cultural transformation. .. The SYM doesn’t read much, remember, and he certainly doesn’t read anything prescribing personal transformation. The child-man may be into self-mockery; self-reflection is something else entirely.
That’s too bad. Men are “more unfinished as people,” Kunkel has neatly observed. Young men especially need a culture that can help them define worthy aspirations. Adults don’t emerge. They’re made."
WOW!! Although the author of this article is female she fails to connect the dots completely. We - WOMEN are to blame for these men failing to GROW UP!!! How? it's right there in the article..."With no one to challenge them to deeper connections, they swim across life's surfaces." The no one challenging them is US - WOMEN!!! We are not challenging them because we've bought into the lie that preserving our virginity untiol marriage is antiquated, old-fashioned and stifling. We are "liberated" women!! We fail to see how much men really NEED us! We are so busy trying to be like men to prove our strength that we completely miss the power we've been given and choose to throw away. We want men to be caring, responsible, protective, honorable, and self-sacrificing. That's a MAN - the kind we wan to marry and have children with. We may be demanding this with our words, as these writers do so well in their articles, but we demand nothing with our actions. We speak one thing - but our bodies are telling another story.
Pre-marital sex and the contraceptive culture have created a message that men are getting loud and clear and this childishness is simply the result of years of "hearing" this message we've spoken with our bodies. Bishop Sheen tells us that the measure of any culture is found in its women. This is because, he says, women are the leading influence on men's behavior. It is through the "demands" women make through their bodies that men "fall in line" so to speak. Why do we find men more and more immature, running from any and all responsibilities of true manhood today? Because women have failed to realize their true power. Their true power lies in embracing their weaknesses and vulnerabilities as transfoming powers over the opposite sex. True power lies in their ability to carry new life within and to support and nurture that life in a way only a woman can. "Hearing" this men will oncle again aspire to "deserve" and "earn" the love of their beloved. They will prove themselves capable and ready to protect, defend and honor this woman they seek. Then, they truly can be MAN and wife.
Sadly, sometimes I think even those men who do "settle down" and marry remain boys as well. Because their wives buy into the lie about contraception they just perpetuate the same thing they may have experienced in single life. These men seem to be grown ups because they have a job, a mortgage and a mini-van. Yet they too have failed to become the total man God wants them to be. They want the pleasure without the pain. They can't see that this last hurdle must be overcome in order that they can be a real leader of their family. Smehow even these men like the SYM of the articles (which I encourage you all to read in full), seem to demonstrate the truth found in a very old saying "Why by the cow when you get the milk for free"
Anyhow the jist of the articles goes like this - men in their 20's and 30's are failing to GROW UP and become real men. They are NOT marrying material and young women are very frustrated with this phenomena. The articles seek to discover the causes of this and they do a good job actually. Of course when I read anything I'm always reading it with a Catholic theological perspective with a definite bent on TOB. So these paragraphs jumped out at me...(SYM=single young males)
Child-Man in the Promised Land by Kay S. Hymowitz, City Journal Winter 2008:
"Like Hornby, Kunkel sees the easy availability of sex as a source of slacker apathy. In a world of serial relationships, SYMs “fail to sublimate their libidinal energies in the way that actually makes men attractive,” Kunkel told a dismayed female interviewer in Salon. With no one to challenge them to deeper connections, they swim across life’s surfaces.
The superficiality, indolence, and passionlessness evoked in Hornby’s and Kunkel’s novels haven’t triggered any kind of cultural transformation. .. The SYM doesn’t read much, remember, and he certainly doesn’t read anything prescribing personal transformation. The child-man may be into self-mockery; self-reflection is something else entirely.
That’s too bad. Men are “more unfinished as people,” Kunkel has neatly observed. Young men especially need a culture that can help them define worthy aspirations. Adults don’t emerge. They’re made."
WOW!! Although the author of this article is female she fails to connect the dots completely. We - WOMEN are to blame for these men failing to GROW UP!!! How? it's right there in the article..."With no one to challenge them to deeper connections, they swim across life's surfaces." The no one challenging them is US - WOMEN!!! We are not challenging them because we've bought into the lie that preserving our virginity untiol marriage is antiquated, old-fashioned and stifling. We are "liberated" women!! We fail to see how much men really NEED us! We are so busy trying to be like men to prove our strength that we completely miss the power we've been given and choose to throw away. We want men to be caring, responsible, protective, honorable, and self-sacrificing. That's a MAN - the kind we wan to marry and have children with. We may be demanding this with our words, as these writers do so well in their articles, but we demand nothing with our actions. We speak one thing - but our bodies are telling another story.
Pre-marital sex and the contraceptive culture have created a message that men are getting loud and clear and this childishness is simply the result of years of "hearing" this message we've spoken with our bodies. Bishop Sheen tells us that the measure of any culture is found in its women. This is because, he says, women are the leading influence on men's behavior. It is through the "demands" women make through their bodies that men "fall in line" so to speak. Why do we find men more and more immature, running from any and all responsibilities of true manhood today? Because women have failed to realize their true power. Their true power lies in embracing their weaknesses and vulnerabilities as transfoming powers over the opposite sex. True power lies in their ability to carry new life within and to support and nurture that life in a way only a woman can. "Hearing" this men will oncle again aspire to "deserve" and "earn" the love of their beloved. They will prove themselves capable and ready to protect, defend and honor this woman they seek. Then, they truly can be MAN and wife.
Sadly, sometimes I think even those men who do "settle down" and marry remain boys as well. Because their wives buy into the lie about contraception they just perpetuate the same thing they may have experienced in single life. These men seem to be grown ups because they have a job, a mortgage and a mini-van. Yet they too have failed to become the total man God wants them to be. They want the pleasure without the pain. They can't see that this last hurdle must be overcome in order that they can be a real leader of their family. Smehow even these men like the SYM of the articles (which I encourage you all to read in full), seem to demonstrate the truth found in a very old saying "Why by the cow when you get the milk for free"
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