Crab - Must Vent...

Well, I am unofficially back to blogging. It will be VERY scattered and infrequent. But, I feel like a caged animal (in this case a big ugly crab) without it! I have been a terrible CRAB lately. The crab claws only come out for Tim and the bigger kiddos and they are scarcely seen by the 2 littler ones and NEVER seen by Christopher! But by oh boy do Tim, Morgan, and Mary see 'em!

First of all I am tired and my breasts hurt. This itself isn't so bad. But add being a month and a half behind in school, in a constant state of doing laundry, and feeling pulled in a million different directions, and I suddenly turn red, ugly, and ready to "pinch" anybody who gets in my way! The girls are NOT cooperating with school. They are putting up as much resistance as possible. They'd rather be watching Scooby-Do re-runs and eating Chees-its all day long...Collin needs to be taken to and from preschool 3 days a week. The whole process of getting everybody ready to be seen in public by the ever judging eyes of those who leave their mouths agape and then say the classic "you've go your hands full" when they see us, takes at least 45 minutes in all. I feel like we are always racing yet at the same time we're stuck in slow motion! Everything takes SO LONG to do!!! There's always 5 steps to a process which if it were me alone would only demand 1 step to complete. This is the most frustrating part of it all.

Then there's soccer practices. Mon. thru Thurs. for the big 3. This past Tuesday was my first attempt at bringing all 5 with me to the soccer fields and sitting thru an entire practice. I was sweating and stressed...my eyes kept darting around looking for all my crew members and counting... 1,2,3 oh no where's 4? where's 4?...thank God there she is...where's 5? where's 5? Oh there he is in his stroller!! Gee Wiz I'm going nutty here!!! Then dealing with the small talk "chit chat" between parents (mostly moms) watching the practices - Often I blurt out some kind of remark that gets me a look like I'm from another planet. Example: Mom comes over - "So, you're Collin's mom?" - me - "yes" - "...Oh he made us laugh last week when he wanted to tell us about how you feed his little brother...he was so detailed we all had to laugh.." - me - "Ya, you know today he said the cutest thing to me, he said 'mom, I like your nursies, they're beautiful. But I think you should paint them pink 'cause that would be more fashionable' " Now I told that little story to a crowd of parents who stared back at me in shock and horror! I had momentarily forgotten where I was...I was with a group of moms who could in no way relate to my complete lack of discomfort when discussing my breasts or breastfeeding. You see after you nurse 5 children you tend to see your breasts as baby quieters and "nursies" as we call them around here. You don't laugh at your son's description of breasts being used to feed baby brother but you DO laugh at him wanting to paint them pink and think it hysterical that he would choose to use the word "fashionable" as a 5 year old boy!!! But alas, that one went over with the soccer moms like a lead balloon.

Anyhoo, I am a crab. Tim and I took Christopher to be circumcised last night. More crabbiness ensued. I did not want to do this again. Collin's suffering was enough for me. But Tim insisted. And as I always tell the kids "Daddy's the King around here and we must listen to the King" And so Christopher was circumcised. I hate it!! But he IS doing much better today already. (Tim was right about that - again) But, it did inevitably make me an even BIGGER crab! Tim gets the worst of it...

In my defense though, Tim is not the most sensitive hubby. He is a soldier by nature and so he always takes the crap life throws at him and just digs in and soldiers on. He expects the same from his wife and kids as well. We don't really "soldier" as well as he does. This can cause an awful lot of "conflict" 'round here. I become the crabby whiner wife and he becomes the insensitive jerky husband. It's not a pleasant mix! Thank God for those vows "...in good times and in bad..." I really just ant to know that Tim sees how hard this transition is for me. I want him to say occasionally how proud he is with my trying to keep it all together. Tim wants the status quo maintained and the routine to be carried on like all good soldiers must and do...I think I'd make a crappy soldier!

I know that this too will pass. As we all adjust to life as a family of 7 we will all begin to pull our weight and work together. It'll take a couple of months though...we're slow learners I guess...or just stubborn. Stubborn is probably more accurate. In the mean time we all have Christopher to enjoy and love to pieces. Thank goodness babies make all this craziness SOOOOOOO Worth IT!! We've scheduled Christopher's baptism for Nov. 4th. We've never waited that long to baptize our babies! But we just decided to join a new parish and they have the entire month of October already booked! Hopefully Christopher will still be able to fit into the gown. It is a family gown that's been passed down through the generations and ALL the babies have been baptised in it. It's on the small side because we always baptize our babies right away. Being that Chris was 8 lbs. at birth and is now already 10 lbs, I'm hoping he'll be able to squeeze into it by November 4th!! Yikes! I may have to leave it unbuttoned in the back and just "fake it for pictures...

We've asked our neighbors and good friends Don and Dawn to be the godparents. We'll keep the party small and simple. I'm looking forward to it. I always LOVE the day of my child's baptism. I tend to get VERY emotional about it. I've cried at/during every one of my kiddos' baptisms. It's such a powerful moment!! What could be better than knowing that who was just your daughter or son has now become also your sister or brother in Christ!!! WOW!! You gotta love it!! - well...baby needs to nurse again...here come the unpainted, not pink, unfashionable "nursies" little Christopher!!!!