I wrote the following as a eulogy for my grandfather who died this past summer.
A little backround may help in understanding it better. My grandfather gre up in N.Y. state
lost a sister to sickness. She was only 16. He was very close to her. Then he went off to war. A sailor in WWII. When he got home he married his sweetheart. Then, they were expecting their first child. She gave birth and she and the child both died as a result of the birth. He had lost everything. He moved to Illinois for work. He lived in an apartment building where a woman was living with her two little boys. She had been abused and then abandoned completely by her husband. This woman is my grandmother. My grandfather married Vera and took her boys on as his own. In fact my dad says he wasn't even told differently until he was 21! My grandfather never treated my dad and uncle Frank any different - they were his boys. Period. End of story. He was a great man. The eulogy I gave follows...
I'd like to begin with a quote. "The principles of living greatly include the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and trial with humility." Everett Maine understood these principles and lived them out in a quiet and unassuming way his whole life. His lasting legacy is the example he set for his 4 sons. He showed them what it means to be a man, a husband, and a father. For all those who knew him, he showed them what it means simply to be a good and decent human being.
Everett Maine was born July 5th 1924 in NY state. His family was poor but proud like many families at that time. He learned about hard work and dedication to family. He experienced the great pain of losing his sister. He spoke to me of his sister and of her tragic death. His eyes were filled with memory and affection for her. Yet there wasn't any self pity there. He grew and went on to serve others.
He joined the United States Navy. He fought in the Pacific during WWII. He was proud of his service to his country. Although sadness and tragedy are part of war - he was one sailor who didn't let those things define him afterwards. After the war he came home and married his sweetheart.
It was at this time that he experienced his life's greatest tragedy. At the same time he gained - what he would say - was his life's greatest blessing.
He lost his wife and newborn child as they both died shortly after the baby was born. But God had a plan still.
Loss and suffering did not close a door in Everett's heart. Instead, it opened another through which a whole new family would enter.
Vera and her 2 little boys, Frank and Ronnie, entered into Everett's life and his heart at this time.
The injustice of life often hardens a heart. This was not the case with Everett. He extended himself outward with heart in hand. He gave himself completely to his new wife and embraced his newfound fatherhood, as a gift and a blessing.
Everett and Vera went on to have 2 more boys together, Michael and David. He was hardworking, self-sacrificing, and uncomplaining as a father. He involved himself in his boys lives. Be it as a boy scout leader, or going camping, or as an umpire in little league - he made time to do things with his family.
Not particularly vocal or demonstrative, he chose to express his love and dedication to Vera and his boys with actions, not so much with words. He loved through his deeds.
He raised 4 boys shaping them into the men they are today - all hardworking and successful husbands and fathers themselves. They were blessed to have a father who led by example. He continued setting this example of love as action in his later years as well.
These later years brought with them health problems for both Everett and Vera. His response was to meet these trials with humor and humility. He accepted his own suffering, choosing to look outward once again. The needs of his wife replaced his own. Her suffering moved him to have greater mercy. Her trials only deepened his devotion to her. He fed her, helped her dress, and do her hair.
He saw these needs as an opportunity to love her. The greater her needs - the greater his love.
He made his intentions clear to everyone. When pressed to give up this role and think of himself he would say "I will take care of my wife until the day I die."
And he did.
He understood that time is precious and fleeting. He would not surrender his as her husband to the snares of self-interest and self-importance. I'm not sure what fortified his conviction. I never asked him. I can only presume that he had a deep and enduring belief in what is true and good. This is what we call wisdom - to recognize what is truly important despite the world's distortions and the lure of our own fallen nature.
Everett Maine lived a simple and unassuming life. However, it was far from insignificant. He dramatically altered the course of the lives of those he loved. He did this in an ordinary way. He was love in action.
Considering that, I'd like to close with a quote as well.
"Men of action, above all, those whose actions are guided by love, - live forever."
A little backround may help in understanding it better. My grandfather gre up in N.Y. state
lost a sister to sickness. She was only 16. He was very close to her. Then he went off to war. A sailor in WWII. When he got home he married his sweetheart. Then, they were expecting their first child. She gave birth and she and the child both died as a result of the birth. He had lost everything. He moved to Illinois for work. He lived in an apartment building where a woman was living with her two little boys. She had been abused and then abandoned completely by her husband. This woman is my grandmother. My grandfather married Vera and took her boys on as his own. In fact my dad says he wasn't even told differently until he was 21! My grandfather never treated my dad and uncle Frank any different - they were his boys. Period. End of story. He was a great man. The eulogy I gave follows...
I'd like to begin with a quote. "The principles of living greatly include the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and trial with humility." Everett Maine understood these principles and lived them out in a quiet and unassuming way his whole life. His lasting legacy is the example he set for his 4 sons. He showed them what it means to be a man, a husband, and a father. For all those who knew him, he showed them what it means simply to be a good and decent human being.
Everett Maine was born July 5th 1924 in NY state. His family was poor but proud like many families at that time. He learned about hard work and dedication to family. He experienced the great pain of losing his sister. He spoke to me of his sister and of her tragic death. His eyes were filled with memory and affection for her. Yet there wasn't any self pity there. He grew and went on to serve others.
He joined the United States Navy. He fought in the Pacific during WWII. He was proud of his service to his country. Although sadness and tragedy are part of war - he was one sailor who didn't let those things define him afterwards. After the war he came home and married his sweetheart.
It was at this time that he experienced his life's greatest tragedy. At the same time he gained - what he would say - was his life's greatest blessing.
He lost his wife and newborn child as they both died shortly after the baby was born. But God had a plan still.
Loss and suffering did not close a door in Everett's heart. Instead, it opened another through which a whole new family would enter.
Vera and her 2 little boys, Frank and Ronnie, entered into Everett's life and his heart at this time.
The injustice of life often hardens a heart. This was not the case with Everett. He extended himself outward with heart in hand. He gave himself completely to his new wife and embraced his newfound fatherhood, as a gift and a blessing.
Everett and Vera went on to have 2 more boys together, Michael and David. He was hardworking, self-sacrificing, and uncomplaining as a father. He involved himself in his boys lives. Be it as a boy scout leader, or going camping, or as an umpire in little league - he made time to do things with his family.
Not particularly vocal or demonstrative, he chose to express his love and dedication to Vera and his boys with actions, not so much with words. He loved through his deeds.
He raised 4 boys shaping them into the men they are today - all hardworking and successful husbands and fathers themselves. They were blessed to have a father who led by example. He continued setting this example of love as action in his later years as well.
These later years brought with them health problems for both Everett and Vera. His response was to meet these trials with humor and humility. He accepted his own suffering, choosing to look outward once again. The needs of his wife replaced his own. Her suffering moved him to have greater mercy. Her trials only deepened his devotion to her. He fed her, helped her dress, and do her hair.
He saw these needs as an opportunity to love her. The greater her needs - the greater his love.
He made his intentions clear to everyone. When pressed to give up this role and think of himself he would say "I will take care of my wife until the day I die."
And he did.
He understood that time is precious and fleeting. He would not surrender his as her husband to the snares of self-interest and self-importance. I'm not sure what fortified his conviction. I never asked him. I can only presume that he had a deep and enduring belief in what is true and good. This is what we call wisdom - to recognize what is truly important despite the world's distortions and the lure of our own fallen nature.
Everett Maine lived a simple and unassuming life. However, it was far from insignificant. He dramatically altered the course of the lives of those he loved. He did this in an ordinary way. He was love in action.
Considering that, I'd like to close with a quote as well.
"Men of action, above all, those whose actions are guided by love, - live forever."
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