Grandma's Eulogy

My grandma Maine died just a week after we buried my grandfather - her beloved husband. A broken heart? Maybe...I do know that she loved him dearly and that the day he died I was privileged to be there at their home to help her in her grief. Kelly was in and it was a blessing to have her there for gram as well.
The funeral director arrived to pick up gramp's body. We had all gotten a chance for a final embrace and kiss of gramp who laid there on the floor. Some may think that a morbid scene. But I saw it as a real grace. I had a chance to say goodbye and to see gramp as he was despite the fact that he was already gone. People never look like who they are in the funeral home no matter how good the undertaker is.
Well anyway, Kelly and I sat with gram on either side of her as she wept and called out to gramp. Kelly wiped the tears from gram's eyes with a tissue and I held her hand. I felt so lucky to be there for gram and to show her how much I loved her. As Gramp's body came past her on the gurney, she called out to him saying"Everett come back. Everett don't leave me." It was a very powerful moment to say the least. The brothers still realing from the death of their father, asked me to do gram's eulogy as well. I accepted and the following is how I remembered gram at her funeral mass.

Today we remember Vera Maine.She grew up in Chgo. Hts. The daughter of Nino and Anita Vitelli, she shared her childhood with her brothers Tony and Lando and sisters Velma and Rena.
Yet it is her role as wife and mother which most defined her. Like many in her generation she began her life as wife and mother at a young age. She did not pursue degrees or status filled positions. She didn't chase titles o aspire to climb ladders. With the exception of those used to retrieve a little boy if needed.
She was a housewife, a homemaker, simply put a mom. Sounds plain and uninspiring by today's standards. This world often mistakes a life devoted to husband and children as a life of mediocrity.
Today, let us see rightly. Let us see Vera's life through the eyes of Jesus. Then we can fully appreciate the heroic nature of her life's vocation.
Yes, I said heroic. It is no small acheivement to offer up your very body for the benefit and growth of another tiny human being. She welcomed these God's greatest of gifts, 4 times over.
When I asked dad to talk to his brothers about how they remembered their mother he listed a number of things. But, ultimately, he summarized their thoughts like this - "She was, you know, your typical Italian mom."
What does that mean? It means she held little hands while stumbling feet learned to walk. She skissed a 1000 scraped knees. Filled plates with homemade meals and stayed up nights to watch over her little ones when they were sick and in need of comfort.
Consider these acts as just the standard or typical demands of an ordinary housewife, and you miss the greatness of a woman who willingly forgoes accolades and honors and simply serves.
Instead, she finds dignity in folding fresh white towels and stacking them neatly. She finds satisfaction in a pot of sauce long simmering on her stovetop. And honor in serving her husband and 4 sons.
I'd say that's NOT very typical. Anymore, anyway. We live in a world where people are valued to the degree that they produce great results or acheive great things.
Vera was a small Italian woman. I can relate. She lived her life doing countless small things for her family.
Another small woman shared this insight saying - "In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love." That was said by Mother Teresa.
Less than 2 weeks ago, we buried Everett Maine, Vera's beloved husband. The day he died she cried out to him saying "Everett don't leave me. Everett, come back to me." She was a woman who did not want to be separated from her beloved. She knew intuitivvely and understood well, the invisible and unbreakable bond God forms between man and wife.
That permanent union she vowed to as a young woman, had only been strengthened through the years. She enjoyed her husband's company. She held his hand often. She walked beside him proudly. She wasn't just a wife - she was Everett's wife. That brought her happiness. It was enough.
We all should be so simple, so unpretentious. To recognize our vocations as the source of our greatest joy. Not our possessions or psitions. And so it was with Vera Maine.
Life is not perfect. It is often painful. Some wounds run very deep. They are the kind only Christ can heal. Vera was blessed to receive this healing love through the sacraments only days before she passed.
The night before she died, she asked for the small crucifix above her bed to be taken down. As she held it in her hands she looked upon our Lord suffering upon the cross and said - "Isn't it beautiful?"
It is. It is grandma.
He knows and understands all our pain, our longing, our sadness, and He waits for us with outstretched arms to come home.
Vera went home to Him.
Now, she awaits our arrival as well.