Parents - Kids' First and Primary Teachers

Never has it been more clear to me that Tim and I are our kids' first and primary teachers. There have been so many experiences over the past 3 years which have illustrated this emphatically. I think this principle gets lost on so many parents. For many parents they seem to have handed over their power as parent to other people. For some it's because they simply do not want to be burdened or bothered with the task of parenting. But I see far more parents who have been intimidated and belittled into submission.
Parents do not feel they have a God given right to protect, defend and educate their children as they see fit any longer. They feel intimidated by school authorities and other such institutional powers into handing over their power as parents over to better educated "smarter" professionals. They are belittled or degraded in very subtle ways. Slowly over time a parent's natural sense of dominion over all things related to their child diminshes until all that is left is a superficial sphere that has the least amount of influence and potency to form their child as they would like. They wake up one day and scratch their heads and ask "who is this child and how did he get to be this way?" Well, it matters who his primary teachers are. They degree to which we reliquish power to other authorities is the degree to which we lose our ability to shape and mold our children into the men and women we want them to be in this world.
We need to remind ourselves each and every day that we have a serious responsibility to be the most imporatant teachers in our child's life. We are here to protect, defend, and teach our kids. If their is a void there then someone else will fill it. We cannot allow ourselves to be bullied into "letting go" of this awesome responsibility because others seem to have a better resume for education. Education begins in the home and our schools and teachers are to be a cooperating extension of this. We are supposed to be equal team players. All too often we are made to feel like we are supposed to just sit on the bench and watch from the sidelines as others act as the active players and coaches in our kids' lives.
Those parents who give this position up willingly are a lost cause. They don't care. But there are a great number of parents out there that just need to be reminded - encouraged - to be their kids' first and primary teacher once again. Don't be ashamed to be your child's advocate! Don't be embarrassed to protect your child's dignity and honor! Do it! Do it with gusto and courage!
Our kids NEED us! God gave them to US. He gave them specifically to us for a reason and He knows that we can educate them better than a whole gaggle of PHD's.
Schools need to walk the walk to back up all their talk of "partnership" and "dialogue" with parents. Schools must create an atmosphere that fosters cooperation between parents and school staff. My experience is that there is a very adversarial atmosphere that runs just below the surface. Schools say they want parents to be involved and act as "partners" with them but when push comes to shove they really would rather you just sit back down on the bench and shut up. They want your child to cooperate with them - and that is as it should be - but they can't seem to see your child as part of a package - part of a larger family dynamic. Kids cannot be educated isolated from their parents. Or let me correct myself - kids CAN be educated isolated from their parents, but that's not as it should be! The best environment for kids to learn in is one in which parents are recognized and respected as the first and primary teachers. Then and only then can a school maximize its potential as an institution of learning. Without this first basic principle it becomes just a factory cranking out "products" - uniform, interchangeable, homogenous, products. We cannot let this happen.
The roots of a truly well educated child lie in the recognition of him as a unique, unrepeatable person with dignity. We destroy this foundation when we undermine the authority of parents. We all can thank all the irresponsible parents over the years who have soured and poisened many good teachers and administrators. These educators I think have seen so many parents who do not care that they have begun to lump us all together and in effect have created this undercurrent of antagonism we good parents feel when we try to advocate on our child's behalf.
So, we must remind ourselves of our sacred responsibilities towards our children but we must also remind our schools of this as well. Stand your ground parents and do not second guess yourself if your intentions are good. if you are motivated by a desire to have your child be well educated and well formed as a person then there is no shame in that.
I write this as an encouragement to others but also for myself as well as I too feel intimidated and unsure of myself when faced with conflicts at school and with the school. The bottom line is - I love my kids! They deserve to be treated fairly and with respect to their dignity. It's my job to make sure that that happens! That's it. I am the most important person in my child's life!