Father Burns - My Spiritual Father

Father Joseph Burns died this morning of December 16, 2006. My mom called me right away to tell me the news. She had called late last night as well to let Tim and I know he was near death. We prayed and I cried - hard. This man was for me a powerful spiritual father - and I love him very very much. He will never be forgotten. I am forever changed, by knowing him.

Father Burns was more than my pastor. He was my friend. He was my advisor. He was my spiritual father. The pastor/parishioner relationship shifted dramatically into a father/daughter relationship when I needed him the most. You see, I was a young woman, (in some ways still a girl) who was pregnant and unmarried. I went to confession to my parish priest and exited the confessional with a spiritual father. He didn't let our relationship end with absolution but continued it throughout my pregnancy, loving me and guiding me all the time.

Those nine months were a tumultuous time of radical change for me, and Tim. Father Burns always sought the best for Morgan, still unborn, never letting his love for me cloud his focus. He wanted the best for my child! He didn't shy away from certain topics for fear of hurting my feelings or Tim's. There were times when he really "let us have it" so to speak. But, he always balanced his seriousness with compassion and humor.

Father Burns witnessed Tim and I exchange our vows on October 3, 1998. But his love and guidance didn't end there. There was many an occasion when I'd enter his confessional only to exit to an empty church. You see, I'd be in there so long that the others who stood waiting would give up and go home! I have to admit as well, that he and I would get a little "side-tracked" and often there'd be belts of laughter filling that little room! I can say this with confidence and with tremendous pride - Fr. Burns liked me! Now, that may sound quite arrogant or even childishly silly to some people. For me, knowing he liked me as a person was one of the highest compliments of my life!

This was a man who was educated, well-read, holy, dignified, passionate, witty, and most of all Christ-like. I respected, admired, and just plain adored him. I never wanted to dissappoint him and I always looked forward to making him smile or laugh. Many stories I'd tell him in great distress, he'd end up chuckling. One such story was of a particularly bad day I'd had at home with my kids. I tearfully explained to him the mischief and hijinks of these

"little people" (that's what he'd always refer to them as) which led me to a full fledged meltdown. In the course of this meltdown I told him "Father then, (sniffle sniffle) I told them 'pack your bags all of you. get your stuff together cause you're movin out!' Can you believe I said that father? "(sniffle sniffle looking down in shame and wiping nose with tissue) When I lifted my head to look at him what did I see? He was grinning from ear to ear and quietly chuckling while he said softly "Oh, Kris (chuckle chuckle) Oh Kris..."

So, we had many a giggle and a chuckle together and I loved those moments. Yet, the conversations which strike my heart with sorrow knowing there will be no more, are the serious ones. His words were spoken softly but they penetrated my heart and soul. He taught me about love - real love. He taught me about forgiveness - and letting go. He taught me about marriage - what it is and what it isn't. He taught me to be myself - "Kris, ask God this. Lord, make me the woman You want me to be." These lessons came from a whole range of topics we'd cover in our time together. We spoke of the poor in the world. He had a special love and affection for the poor. We spoke of injustice and what's a simple person to do about it. We spoke of men and women and their God-given differences. We spoke of family life and money and how we obsess too much over it - money that is. We spoke of abortion and unwed mothers and the best way to serve/support them. We spoke of the root causes of sin in the world today. We spoke - no maybe I should say - argued about politics together. He loved to try to convince me of his leanings and I him. As you can see our talks ran the gamut. This is true of so few people in my life! Mom, Tim, and Father Burns. My mother, my husband, and my priest.

Now, I am lost. Where will I find another like him? Why God did you take my priest? Couldn't You see how much I needed him? Couldn't You see how much this world needed him? Today, you rarely find a priest who is all man and also all God's. So many seem to deny their own God-given masculinity in an attempt to be more "sensitive" while others seem to be more interested in what the world thinks of them than what God thinks of them. Father Burns was neither. He embraced his role as man, as father. He new exactly how to lead with strength and conviction. He didn't bend which ever way the wind blew. He had a great sense of family life and men and women's roles. He loved women it seemed to me. He was a real advocate for mothers. But, he'd let you know that a hard working man derserves our respect and support as well!

Father Burns I love you. A couple of weeks ago my mom went up to see you. She told me of her plans to visit you and I told her to give you this message from me. "Tell him I'd love to kiss his face all over! - I miss him so much!" To which my mom responded "Are you crazy Kris, I'm not gonna tell him that!" I didn't think she'd go through with it considering I understood how some people might think that an inappropriate thing to say to a priest. You see, to me he was like a father - a spiritual father. And what little girl, who loves and adores her daddy dearly doesn't long to climb up into his lap and cover his face with little kisses. That is me - that little spiritual daughter of this great priest - Father Joseph Burns. Turns out mom did relay that message to him. I asked her what his response was and she said he just simply smiled.